Unrequited Love
by Tara Kitaide
Summary: After a stunning revelation of feelings on Ichigo's part, Renji begins to discover he may like Ichigo more than he lets on. But with Orihime's jelousy becoming a problem, how will the two shinigami's feeling blossom with all the tension? RenIchi angst
1. The Accident

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for posible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

_--------------------------------------------_

_Orange carrot top hair. _

_Beautiful piercing brown eyes. _

_The sent of strawberries. _

_The warmth of two bodies pressed up against each other in a deep embrace… _

_Always… _

_Always… _

_I want to be with you…_

_--------------------------------------------_

Renji trudged on reluctantly towards his 'dear friend', Ichigo's house. He watched in frustration as people stopped to stared at him or whisper, most likely something crude, about his appearance. Now that Renji thought about it, his cloths were awfully different from everyone else's and he was sure no one around here had bright red hair and tattoos on their face...

Well, he couldn't do anything about _that_. That's just the way he was but his _cloths_ now those were a different story. He couldn't help but grimace when he looked down at his yellow shirt and the face of Chappy the rabbit was staring up at him with it's beady little eyes.

_Fucking Rukia... _He thought angrily to himself. _Next time I see that midget, I'm gonna--_

"Oi, Renji!"

Renji's thoughts were interrupted by that same annoying voice he'd come to know so well over his time in the human world. Renji turned around, only to be confronted by none other than Ichigo Kurosaki. The boy slung his book bag over his shoulder and scowled at Renji. Renji didn't take it into offense though. He had come to learn that scowling was apart of Ichigo's everyday routine, as much as Renji hated it. The boy was also still in his school uniform so he must have just been released.

"Hmm? Oh, Kurosaki. It's just you." Renji said as his eyes half closed in boredom.

"Whada ya' mean 'just me'?!" Ichigo snapped at the red head.

"Just that! If you have a problem with it, deal with it!" Renji barked back.

They glared at each other for several minutes until their glares were interrupted by the sound of another slightly less annoying voice, followed with their heads being bashed together, rather roughly.

"Idiots! What are you doing, making so much noise?!"

_Rukia…_

"D-Damn it!! What the hell was that for?!" Ichigo snapped as he got up from the hard concrete with Renji, rubbing his head. "It's been two weeks and you two idiots _still_ can't get along with each other! Geez!" Rukia said, throwing her arms around dramatically and turning her back to them.

"Oh, yeah? Well try having this guy living with you twenty-four-seven!" Ichigo said, pointing his index finger in Renji's chest, annoying the red head. "Stop that!!" Renji shoved Ichigo's hand away and noticed as more people joined the crowd of curious onlookers.

It was true. Kisuke Urahara, that no good worthless shop owner, had one day suddenly vanished. Whisked away because of some "work" related incident leaving only a note on the shop door for the others. Renji, having stayed residence at his shop then, had nowhere to go, leaving them with quite a predicament. Eventually after countless argues and debates, it was decided that Renji would stay with Ichigo and Rukia would take up temporary residence at Orihime's home.

"And what the hell are you saying? I'm annoying?" Renji growled in the boy's face.

"That's exactly what I'm saying! You're alway--" Ichigo's sentence was cut off by the loud beeping alarm of Rukia's cell phone. Everyone went silent as Rukia reached in her the pocket of her shirt. She flipped the phone open then turned to Ichigo and Renji, her face now serious as her eyes narrowed. "A hollow." She said. "And it's moving fast. We have to hurry." They took off, following Rukia to the location of the hollow, waiting till it was safe to leave their bodies.

-------------------------------

"Shit! That thing is huge!"

Ichigo, Renji, and Rukia looked upon the giant hollow that stood before them. It was massive, with large swaying arms and a crooked smile. There were only dark holes for its eyes that matched the hole in its chest. It opened its mouth and let out its foul disgusting breath before flicking its fingers, allowing them to become knives.

"Watch it you two. This a large hollow. Not one to be taken lightly." Rukia shouted calmly.

"We figured that." Ichigo mumbled as he reached into his pocket.

He took out the soul candy containing Kon and popped it in his mouth. Suddenly, his soul was forced out, causing his body to tumble a little.

"Hey, Ichigo! What's with bringing me out here on such short notice!?" Kon bickered. "Shut it Kon and move or else you'll be hollow food." It was only at this time Kon noticed the giant looming hallow high above him. "W-Wa-Wahh!! Ichigo!! You should have told me there was a hollow!!" Kon snapped, scrambling to his feet.

"Renji! Hurry up and change already!" Ichigo snapped at the red head upon noticing he was still in his gigai. "Right. Sure." Renji started to leave his body when suddenly, he felt himself jerk and he couldn't move.

"Huh?"

Renji tugged and tugged at his body. "Damn it..." He muttered. He tugged a few more times before deciding he was officially stuck. "I-I can't get lose!" Renji shouted to Ichigo.

"Wah?" Ichigo shouted back, not being able to hear him over the hollow's loud, ear piecing roar. Ichigo covered his ears quickly. "Augh! Just shut up already!!" He screamed furiously to the hallow.

That seemed to only anger it for the hallow slashed at Ichigo with its deadly claws. Ichigo jumped out of the way of the hallow's grasp but only to be scratched by one of its claws and knock it away with Zangetsu.

Renji, who still was having issues of his own, watched horrifically as chunks and pieces of concrete and roof flew in his direction. "Damn it!!" He shouted trying to avoid them as best he could. But it was too late. A fragment hit his side and head. Another large piece knocked the rest of his soul out entirely and rendered him unconscious.

It was awhile before the clouds of dust cleared and everything could be seen again. Ichigo, not noticing what had happened to his fallen comrade, jumped at the hallow, splitting its head and having it desolve before his very eyes. "Phew! That was a little too easy!" Ichigo snorted. "Don't you think, Renji?" He got no reply. "Renji?" He turned when again there was no answer. "Renji!" He shouted as he ran to the sight of his friend laying in such disarray.

"Ichigo!" Rukia shouted as she too ran over to Renji. "What happened?" She asked.

"I don't know! I wasn't watching him!" Ichigo explained. Rukia put her fingers to Renji's neck and two more on his wrist. "His heart rate is normal." She confirmed. "We should probably take him to see Unohana-Taichou though." She offered.

Ichigo nodded and in a flash, they and their body's were gone.

---------------------------------

**A/N:** Aie ya! Poor Renji! Well, let me start by saying this is one of my very old fan fics. I just decided to continue and post it here along with my Renji and Reno fic. Please be nice! Like I said this is old so don't be too rough! I'll probably rewrite this better and stuff but only when I get some more free time. Well, please review!!!! No one ever does...T.T


	2. Hospital Fever

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for possible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-Chan.

-----------------------

Renji woke with a start, dazed and confused. He sat up abruptly, looking around the room questionably.

"Where am I?"

Before his unheard question could be answered, he felt a sharp pain in his shoulder and head. He immediately put a hand to his shoulder as if somehow that could ease the pain.

_What happened?_ _Me and Ichigo...We were fighting the hallow and then..._

"Ah! So your awake!"

A sweet, soft, motherly voice said as it came through the door. Miss Capitan Unohana came in through the door, smiling brightly like a mother to her child.

"You shouldn't move to much Abarai-kun. Your wounds have still not healed yet." She told him as she walked to the side of his bed.

"Capitan Unohana... What happened?"

Miss Unohana smiled a bit more and opened her eyes. "That we don't know but we think you got hit pretty hard when trying to leave your body." She said. Renji thought for a moment.

_I was with Ichigo... We found the hallow... and then..._

"Ah ha!" Renji exclaimed. "I remember. I was fighting the Hallow and tried to leave my body when I got stuck and was hit by fragments of the road that flew off when Ichigo dogged the hallows attack!"

"That would explane it." She sighed. "Next time, be a little more careful Abarai-kun and make sure to bring a Mod Konpaku." She smiled. "Some one will be in to change your bandages in a little while." She said pointing to Renji's stomach.

Renji looked down and noticed his bandages, stained red with blood.

"That large rock left a nasty gash in you. Try not to move around to much. Your wound will reopen if you do."

And with that, she left Renji to wait for the next medic.

-----------------------------------

I don't know if you've ever been in a hospital before, but if you haven't you'll come to find you spend some of the longest and most agonizing waits in your whole life there. Sitting in a white bed in a white room with white lights and nothing to listen to but the constant whizzing and whirling of machines. Its enough to drive a person insane! Renji thought this as he wait, laying on his back, hands behind his head, staring at nothing but the ceiling.

_I wonder what happened to Ichigo and Rukia? Did they have any problems defeating the Hallow?_

His thoughts trailed off as the door clicked. "'Bout time. Where have you been? I've been waiting forever!" Renji said, annoyed at the long wait.

"Be quiet! It's only been twenty minutes!"

Renji sat up abruptly, surprised by the voice he heard. He rubbed his eyes and cleaned out his ears to be sure he wasn't mistaken but sure enough when he opened his eyes again he saw the same figure as when he had closed them.

"What's with the surprised face? Don't tell me that rock jumbled your memory." Ichigo said.

"Wh-why are you here?!" Renji screeched.

"Geez! Not so loud! Your not the only patient here ya' know."

Renji wasn't mistaken. There was Ichigo, dressed in his Shihakusho and holding a medic bag like that of fourth company.

"Miss Unohana sent me to change your bandages. There seems to be a lot of injures today. They couldn't find anyone to come and come and change you so she just sent me." Ichigo explained.

"She sent for you? Why were you even here?"

"Well...um...I was gonna come to see if you woke up yet..." Ichigo muttered.

"You mean you came to visit me, right?" Renji responded nonchalantly.

"No! Its just your useless to me when your out cold!" Ichigo corrected, reddening at the cheeks.

"Well I appreciate the sympathy."

"Are you being sarcastic?!" Ichigo barked.

"What do you think, 'Strawberry'?!" Renji barked back.

Ichigo was about to respond when Renji put his hand to his stomach and winched. Ichigo stopped and remembered the reason he was here. "Yeah, yeah, well we'll save the bickering for later." Ichigo muttered. "Here," he said reaching out a hand to Renji. "I have to unwrap these things and get you changed or Miss Unohana will kill me."

Ichigo started to loosen Renji's bandages and roll them up neatly. He took great care when his hands were near his stomach but was able to work quickly despite the wound. "You hurt at all?" Ichigo asked Renji, looking up for a slight moment to have their eyes meet.

"No. It feels fine." Renji responded. "Your really good at this. Have you ever worked at a care center or something before?" Renji asked, trying to make conversation.

"No. I guess I'm just good at it. I always had to do this for Yuzu or Karin when they were young so I guess I'm use to it."

"Oh."

And that was all that was said. They sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity until Ichigo had finished unwrapping and looked at Renji's body.

"Oi, Renji."

"Uh...yeah? What?" Renji answered, noticing Ichigo staring at him oddly.

"What's with all these..." Ichigo paused to find the right words. "...Marks?" Ichigo finished.

"What do you mean?" Renji questioned, returning Ichigo's question with a question. "These…'tattoos'. Why do you have them?"

Renji thought for a moment. "You know," Renji started. "You're the first person to completely see my marks."

"Just answer the question!" Ichigo said, annoyed by not getting an answer. Renji sighed.

"I wish I knew that myself."

Ichigo was surprised by his response. "What do you mean?"

There was a moment of silence until Renji broke it.

"I asked Zambimaru once but he didn't really help. He just said, 'In time, you will know'. Some answer!" Renji grumbled. Ichigo thought for a moment before he answered.

"Hmm...So you honestly don't know?"

"No."

It was silent for a moment more until Ichigo remembered what he had stopped doing and reached into the medic bag to pull out a clean roll of bandages.

"Please hold still or I might hit your wound."

Renji gulped. "Kay."

As Ichigo began, his hands touched Renji's back and chest softly. His fingers traced the bandage as he wrapped them along slowly. Renji couldn't help but shudder a bit.

_His hands are so soft. The way his fingers rub against my skin... It feels good... _

Ichigo paid no notice to Renji and continued. Renji felt his cheeks fluster a bit as Ichigo pressed his palm on Renji's chest.

"I'm sorry." Ichigo said. "I hope you don't mind if I use you to steady myself a bit."

It was all Renji could do to mutter something small that sounded like a no. As Ichigo's hand started to move slightly, Renji felt him self turn red and was starting to sweat.

_W-Wait a second! I can't be getting all flustered over Kurosaki! I mean...geez! What's wrong with me?! He's...a guy after all! But..._ Renji's thoughts started to trail off. _Hes just... _

Ichigo looked up for a moment and noticed Renji sweating.

"Are you alright?" He asked, pausing to look up at him.

"Uh! Um..." Renji tried hard to find his voice but when he spoke it came out raspy and chocked. "I'm just fine..." He said, trying to crack a smile.

"You don't look so good." Ichigo said as if doubting Renji's honesty. Ichigo held the bandage in one hand and touched Renji's Forehead with the other. As he did this, he had to lean up in a way to where his body pressed slightly against Renji's and their faces only inches away.

"You feel warm." Ichigo said, his breath tickling Renji's nose.

"Uh...I'm fine." Renji tried to reassure him. "Honestly! I-I'm just fine Kurosaki. Don't-"

"Don't give me that. You have a fever. After I'm finished here I'm telling Miss Unohana about it."

With that, Ichigo returned to his work, going even faster now. Renji was relieved to have Ichigo out of his face. He didn't know if he could take anymore. His eyes steadily on him, his breath on his face, their bodies pressed together, it didn't help him to calm down at all.

Ichigo finished after a while with Renji trying not to shudder or twitch all the while.

"I'll go tell Miss Unohana about your fever." Ichigo said as he started to pack up and throw the old bandage away. "Don't move around much. I think you might have gotten sick from an infection."

Ichigo zipped up the pouch and turned toward the door, leaving Renji to lay alone. "Someone will be back in later. And, Renji?"

"Y-Yes?" Renji stuttered.

"Get better soon. It's boring fighting alone." Without waiting for a response, Ichigo left, leaving a dazed Renji with many thoughts racing through his head.

------------------------

**A/N: **Okies! Just to clear one thing up, this was actually written a long time ago so don't blame me if it sucks. On that note, most of this was written late too, like, two o' clock in the morning late. I just decided to post it because I need more stories, I love Ichigo x Renji, and Sakura-Chan is making me continue this. I don't really know in which direction this story is going to go but I had it with the idea of Aizen still being alive and shit. So if you have any suggestions or requests to help point this damn thing in a direction, I'd truly and greatly appreciate it.


	3. Wet Dreams

Renji lay soundly in his bed, his mind racing, filled with thought of only what had happened just a few hours ago. Ichigo's words resound in his head, bouncing off the walls of his mind like an echo in a cave.

_Get better soon..._

The sound of his voice was as clear as if it was only said a few moments ago. Renji touched his chest where Ichigo's hand had been.

_His soft hands... _

He then remembered Ichigo's body on his, their faces inches apart, his hand on his head. He started to blush a little.

_His body is kind of lanky but... very strong. _

Renji looked out the window and into the red sky. It would be dark soon. The setting sun over the swaying trees made for a beautiful sight. The contrast of the different reds, oranges, and pinks against the thin clouds hiding the sun. It was almost poetic.

Renji's thoughts of Ichigo were interrupted by a soft knock on the door followed by the click or the door knob. Renji sat up slightly, holding himself up on his elbows.

_Ichigo?_

"Hey, Renji!" Hinamori smiled brightly as she entered the room.

"Oh. Hey Momo." Renji smiled.

"I saw Ichigo. He said you had a fever." She said worriedly.

"It's nothing!" Renji assured. "Besides, Miss Unohana still has to check me out to confirm that."

That made Hinamori a bit easier. She stood in silence for a moment, as if collecting her thoughts until she jumped a little and let out an 'oh!' She started to reach into the sleeve or her Shihakusho and pulled out a small bottle.

"Here you go. Miss Unohana told me to give them to you. She said they'd help you get to sleep and kill any pain you might develop over night." Hinamori handed Renji the bottle and he sat up. "I can get you some water if you want." She offered.

"No. Its fine." Renji said taking out a pill. Hinamori watched as he swallowed it. She waited a moment then Renji lied down.

"Thanks Momo." He smiled. "You're welcome." She smiled back. "Well, be sure to get plenty of rest! Get better soon." And with that, Hinamori left Renji to sleep for the night.

_Get better soon._

Hinamori's words were like a far off memory in Renji's head now. Much unlike Ichigo's which still resounded.

_Get better soon..._

Renji put his hand to his chest again, just as before.

_Even though those same words were spoken to me by a girl's soft voice it doesn't mean anything. In my head there's only him. But why? I can't shake away these thoughts...It...torments me... _

As Renji wondered about the events of that day, he felt the medicine kick in as his eye lids grew heavy. His muscles relaxed and his shoulders dropped into a relaxed state and he fell into a long deserved sleep.

----------------------

Renji's night was not a peaceful one. His head hurt him all night, and he couldn't help but toss and turn. His thoughts of Ichigo had invaded his subconscious and now tormented his dreams. He opened his eyes, only to be met by the darkness of early morning. He looked over at the clock on the opposite wall. There was barely enough light from the morning sun to make out the time, six o' clock. Renji sighed and turned back to the ceiling. He shut his eyes, hopping to fall back to sleep. He waited for a while more until he finally decided there was no chance of sleep and to resist was futile.

_I want to see Kurosaki...No. Ichigo..._ _If I do, then maybe it would put my mind to rest..._

Again, that voice rang in his head, Ichigo's voice. Then Renji started to recall his dream.

---------------------

_It was complete darkness. _

_He felt as if he was floating but wasn't quite sure. He couldn't see, hear, smell, taste, or even touch anything. He couldn't even tell weather he was lifting his hand or touching his face. Even though he was deprived of everything, he didn't panic or feel pain. It was what some might call purgatory. _

_He stayed there for what seemed like an eternity before he heard a small voice call out to him. He opened his eyes (or at least he thinks he did) and tried to look for who called. Of course, nothing but blackness. _

_He reached out to see if he could touch something but then remembered he couldn't feel anything. Just as he thought this, he twitched as something moved on his stomach. _

_It didn't hurt and it wasn't as if something was sitting on top of him. If was soft, almost hovered above his skin, and it moved slowly as if busy with something. He shuddered and remembered where he had felt it before. _

Ichigo!

_He then felt something press on his chest, the way Ichigo had before. It moved slightly, and Renji knew what was coming next. _

No! Don't look up! Don't torment me like this!

_Renji shut his eyes tight and felt that same breath on his nose as before. _

No, no, no! Stop!

"_Renji..." _

_Renji wouldn't open his eyes. He kept them tight, unwilling to opening them, knowing the face that awaited him. _

Go away! Just go away!

"_Renji..."_

_The voice called again but hesitated at the end as if waiting to say something else. Renji gave in and opened his eyes a crack, then a bit more. When he opened them completely, he was met with the face of a saddened Ichigo. _

"_I-Ichigo..." _

_Ichigo's frown deepened. His eyes narrowed with pain and shined with tears. It was only a moment later until he realized how close Ichigo was. _

_Renji was on his back, in the hospital room he thought, and Ichigo was hovering above him. One hand on the bed, one on Renji's chest. Renji opened his mouth to speak but only to be cut off by Ichigo's soft lips pressing up against his. _

_Renji's eyes widened with surprise as Ichigo's tongue slid in his mouth. He traced the outline of Renji's lips, licking him passionately. Before Renji could even respond, Ichigo pulled away and looked into Renji's eyes which were still wide. He let his head rest on his and then moved to the side, getting in his ear. _

"_Renji..." He called like before. "I..." _

"_I love you."_

"_N-No! Don't say that!" _

_Renji was going to push him away when He woke. He was sweating, huffing, trying to catch his breath. He wasn't sure if He really screamed in his sleep, but no one came to check on him so he guessed not._

---------------------

Renji recalled this as the morning light broke through the clouds and lit the room. He thought about Ichigo's saddened face and the pain he felt looking at it. He then thought of how Ichigo had suddenly kissed him and how real it felt.

Not that he'd ever been kissed before so it must have been what he imagined one to be like, but it felt as real as if it were.

He put a finger to his lips and then shut his eyes as he remembered the words Ichigo had spoken to him.

_I love you..._

That was enough to convince Renji it wasn't real.

_There's no way that could EVER happen. I'm sure this is nothing. It was just one of those sorts of strange wet dreams. Everyone gets them. It's nothing. Just a phase. I'll eventually get over it. _

All though Renji told himself this with great confidence, he hung his head, knowing no matter what he told himself, he couldn't convince himself it was true. He knew deep down inside, he hoped the words Ichigo spoke to him were true.

---------------------

There was a sudden tap on the door and a click of the handle. Renji jumped a little, surprised to be visited. As the handle turned, Renji's stomach turned.

_I-Is it Ichigo? _Renji hoped.

"Good morning Assistant Capitan Abarai." Came a soft voice as it entered through the door. Renji was disappointed as he realized the voice belonged to Capitan Unohana.

"G-Good Morning Capitan." Renji said, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"Hm? Were you expecting someone?"

"No. It's nothing." Renji said, realizing how unconvincing he must sound.

"Well, I came to tell you, your free to go." Miss Unohana smiled.

"W-Wah?! Hows that possible?" Renji asked shocked.

Miss Unohana chuckled a bit and then pointed to the pill bottle on the side table. "Those pills you took last night actually help heal to heal the wound and can within a matter of hours. You haven't felt any pain this morning even though you've been jerking yourself around, have you?"

"N-No..." Renji mumbled in response. He hadn't even thought about it before.

"The wound is still not completely healed though." Miss Unohana said as she walked over to Renji, Handing him the top to his Shihakusho. "You must be careful. If your not, it will reopen."

Renji began to slip on the top and tie a headband on.

"Now please hurry, someone is waiting for you downstairs." She said as she started to walk away.

"Huh?! Who?!"

"They will be accompanying you back to the human world. That's all I've been asked to say." She smiled. "Sorry." She left the room.

Renji wanted to get ready quickly but stopped and remembered what Miss Unohana said.

_I have to take it easy._ Renji thought. Then his thoughts traced back to Ichigo and what Miss Unohana said.

_Someone's waiting? Is... Is it Ichigo...? _He wondered. _I...I really hope so..._

---------------------

Renji was adjusting his sleeve when he walked to the bottom floor of the hospital. He looked around for a moment, hoping for someone to see and acknowledge him. He looked and looked for what seemed like an eternity and realized there was no Ichigo present. He sighed.

"I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up..." He mumbled to himself.

He went and sat down in a corner, his head down, resting in his hands.

"Look at you. I'm gone for two days and you're already a sorry mess." A taunting voice called to him. A figure stood before him, dressed in a Shihakusho, their sword on their back.

_That voice..._

He felt his stomach tie up in knots and his heart started beating faster. Renji had to keep himself from jumping up. He looked up slowly, shifting his eyes, little by little, until he was looking up at Ichigo, that same scowl on his face, holding Zambimaru out to him.

"Here. Miss Unohana wanted me to give this to you." Ichigo said, holding the sword out further.

"Ichigo..."

"Hey! Since when are we so familiar?" Ichigo said, annoyingly. Renji stood up, his eyes still fixed on Ichigo. He looked hard at his scowling face, then recalled that same face he had seen but with a sad exterior.

_There's no way... I can't imagine Ichigo so sad... and..._

"Hello? Renji? Are you feeling okay?" Ichigo asked, snapping Renji awake.

"Huh? Uh... Of course I am! Why wouldn't I be?" Renji snapped back.

"Geez! I was just asking a question! What's you problem?" Ichigo growled.

"You're my problem!" Renji barked back.

_Things will be better the way they were. It's better to just forget about everything that's been happening. _Renji thought.

"You idiots! What are you barking about now?"

Renji turned to be met with his other friend, Rukia. She was plainly dressed in her Shihakusho, her Zampakuto not at her side.

"Come on! We have to be getting back! We have hallows to kill and school to worry about!" She grabbed both of them by the ear and started to pull them out the front doors.

"OW OW OW!!" They both shouted.

"What are you doing?!" Ichigo shouted. "It's this entire guys fault! Let me go, Rukia!!"

"My fault?!" Renji began. "You're the one to blame, Kurosaki!" Renji mocked.

"What was that?" Ichigo growled.

"Both of you shut up!" Rukia shouted, striking them on the head. Renji put a hand to the giant bump that was now on his head. He growled, rubbing it softly.

_It's much better this way..._ He thought. _Much better..._

---------------------

**A/N: **Geez! I don't even care if people review. I'm just formatting and posting this story like crazy! It's like, five in the morning on a Monday and this is the third chapter I've posted tonight! Ah, well. It just means whoever reads this doesn't have to wait for mw to type up a new chapter. 'Course, I do still have to continue and finished this story… so… yeah…


	4. His Feelings

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for possible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Renji opened his eyes slightly, letting in the little light that came in through the cracks of the closet door. Because of their current situation, with Renji being forced to stay with Ichigo, he slept in the closet so the family wouldn't find him. He sat up, being careful not to re-open his wounds.

"What time is it...?" he mumbled.

He took his cellphone from where it hung on the wall and flipped it open with a snap. Seven-Thirty. Ichigo would already be up. He pushed the closet door the the side, having it slide back and revel the room illuminated by the morning sun.

"Hey, Ichigo. Are you- huh?"

He stopped when he realized he didn't see Ichigo as he expected, already dressed in his school uniform and getting ready to leave for school. Instead, Ichigo still lay sleeping, sprawled out on his bed in his boxers and sleeveless undershirt, partially covered by the thin bed sheets he slept with.

"Fool! Your gonna be late for school...!" Renji grumbled. He jumped out of the closet and started to step toured Ichigo. "Why should I have too..."

Renji's voice trailed off as he stared at Ichigo. The sun coming in through the window next to Ichigo's bed, illuminated his face into an angelic state. He looked peaceful dreaming. He turned on his side grabbing the covers and pulling them over him. Renji's heart skipped a beat as he watched Ichigo sleep. He felt his chest tighten again, hurting more than ever this time. He gulped, taking a small step forward, wondering weather to continue or not.

He knelled down next to Ichigo's bed, now staring at Ichigo more closely. He reached out and touched his face, feeling his warm skin.

_This isn't a dream..._

Ichigo's words pierced through him, wrenching his heart.

"_I love you..."_

Renji gulped again, feeling his face turn red. Ichigo sighed in his sleep, tickling Renji with his breath. Renji shivered. He reached out and brushed the hair out of Ichigo's eyes. He touched his cheek and caressed his chin.

_I need to let it go... just let it go..._

Renji leaned a little closer to Ichigo, feeling his hair brush against his forehead.

_I know I need to let go, but..._ Renji sighed. _Just this once... Just this will have to be enough... _

He leaned down and closed his eyes. Renji and Ichigo's lips brushed up against each other softly. Renji was about to kiss Ichigo when there was a loud and fast rap on the door.

Renji jumped, leaping away from Ichigo and jumping to his feet.

"Ichigo! Come on! Are you up yet?" Yuzu, Ichigo's younger sister called. Ichigo started to stir at her words.

Renji panicked and rushed for the closet door, sliding it open quickly and slipping inside, pretending to be sleeping. There were more calls and raps until Ichigo sat up groggily. He scratched his head and pulled the sheets off.

"Ichigo!" Yuzu shouted.

"Yeah, yeah! I'm up! Just go away!" He responded. He stood up and stretched, yawning loudly. He looked at his clock and growled.

"Renji...!" He muttered. "You good for nothing!" He said louder, picking up his school uniform. He got dressed, grumbling and muttering empty threats to Renji. It was a few moments later until he was completely dressed and picking up his book bag to leave. He glanced at the closet door, stepping toured it.

He put his hand on the closet door and slid it open slightly.

Renji lay as still as possible, trying to be most convincing. He grumbled, making it look like he was turning in his sleep. Ichigo stared at him for a moment, not saying anything. Renji wondered what was going on.

_Had he left yet and I didn't hear him? No. I can still feel his reiatsu. So then why does he stay? _Ichigo leaned down a bit, close enough for Renji to hear him. He sighed and his face saddened.

"I'll see you latter."

Ichigo backed up and shut the closet door softly. Renji heard his foot steps and then the click of the door knob turning and opening. His foot steps started to fade.

Renji opened his eyes and blinked. He flipped over onto his back and put his hand on his head.

"What was that all about...?" He muttered. He winced when there was a sharp pain in his stomach. He immediately moved his hand to it, remembering what Unohana said.

"Damn it. All this excitement made me move around too much!" He growled.

Sitting up slowly, he reached out for the closet door, opening it. He crawled out and made his way to the door, locking it. He sighed and sat on Ichigo's bed.

"That guy..." Renji muttered. "I don't get him at all! Whats his problem?"

Renji stood and picked up his cloths. He started slipping into them, thinking about what Ichigo had said before he left. Renji realized there was a hint of sadness in his voice and that made him think back to the dream he had before. It pained him to imagine Ichigo in such a state.

"Was he sad when he spoke?" Renji asked himself while sitting back down. "Why would he? Hes been so strange lately..." He thought about what he had just said then scoffed. "Like I have any room to talk." He mumbled. "I haven't necessarily been myself ether lately." He smiled sadly then touched his lips.

_What was I thinking...?_ _I mean, I almost...I mean, Ichigo...he... _He bit his lip, drawing blood.

"It seems I can't control my emotions after all..." He muttered. "A Shinigami shouldn't have feelings for the human world. Friendship, Love, Compassion... All these things are useless emotions that only get in the way of a job." Renji reminded himself. "But even knowing that...I still..." He sighed and hung his head.

_I still want to see Ichigo..._

-/-/-/-

Renji was walking down the street when his phone suddenly went off, alerting him of a nearby hollow. He pulled it out of the front pocket of his vest and flipped it open. A hollow was defedantly nearby but this time there were more of them and they were the same as before, giant hollows. Renji quickly ran in the direction the signal lead as he tried to call Rukia's phone.

There were several rings before there was an answer.

"Hello?!" Renji shouted into the phone. "Rukia! Hello?!"

"Renji! Where are you?"

Renji recognized the voice as Rukia's and answered back.

"I got the signal! I'm heading over there now! Are you with Ichigo?"

"No! I went to look for you!"

Renji almost dropped the phone he was so shocked. He stopped and froze, thinking of Ichigo fighting all those hollows by himself. His chest tightened and his throat dried.

"H-Hes alone?!" Renji managed to shout back at her through the telephone. "You left him there all by himself with those hollows?! What if he gets killed?!" Renji shouted furiously.

"He insisted on me going to find you! The more time you spend arguing with me, the longer Ichigo is stuck there! Now shut up and listen!! Ichigo doesn't wan-"

Renji hung up the phone. He didn't want to hear anymore. Renji stood still for a moment, realizing what Rukia had said was true.

_Ichigo needs me more then ever now..._ _I can't do anything by just standing here! I have to help him!_

Renji started running again now faster then ever. He could only think of Ichigo and the horrible situation he was in. According to the signal, Ichigo was in an abandoned parking lot.

"He must have moved the fight so no one would get hurt." Renji thought out loud to himself. "Damn it. Just don't die Ichigo."

Renji ran until he finally reached his destination. There were three giant hollows. Compared to the hollows, Ichigo looked like an ant. Renji ran to where Ichigo stood. He was breathing heavily, holding Zangetsu out in front of him in a defensive position. He was bleeding above his left eye and his shoulder was sliced.

"Ichigo!" Renji shouted.

"You idiot! Didn't you listen to Rukia?!" Ichigo shouted keeping his gaze on the hollows. Renji was confused. He came to help Ichigo so why was he acting so strange?

"W-What are you talking about?! I came to help you!"

"I don't need your help!" Ichigo shouted back. "What makes you think you can fight? Your still injured, right?" Ichigo shifted his eyes to Renji as he spoke. "Get out of here while you still can!"

As soon after he spoke, one of the giant hollows slashed at Ichigo but he moved out of the way in time. Renji searched his pockets for the mod Konpaku he had brought along. "Where the hell..." Renji grumbled.

Ichigo blocked another attack by a hollow, pushing back its massive claws with his blade.

"What are you still doing here?!" Ichigo shouted to Renji. "Get out of here!" He jumped out of the way of an attack only to have it barely miss him.

"No! I came here to help you!"

"I don't need your help!" Ichigo turned his back to the hollows for a moment to shout at Renji, when all the sudden, one of the hollows raised it's hand to strike.

"Ichigo!" Renji shouted. Ichigo turned as the hollow was readying to strike. Renji quickly popped out of his body, feeling the pain in his stomach shock his whole body. He winced but ignored it as best as he could. He jumped above Ichigo, drawing his sword and blocking the attack.

The hollow was persistent. It pushed at Renji's blade with its claws letting out an ear piercing roar. Renji fell to the ground, managing to push the hand away.

"Renji!" Ichigo shouted as he ran to him. "You idiot! What did I tell you?!"

Renji winced as he struggled to sit up. "I-I'm fine." he muttered. Ichigo reached out and put his arm around him to help him up.

"Just leave me alone! I can fight on my own!" Renji pushed Ichigo off of him and got up slowly.

"You can't be serious! You've been moving around way too much! Your bleeding like crazy!"

Renji looked down and put a hand to his stomach, feeling the warm liquid. Blood was seeping through his Shihakusho, gushing out, staining the ground red. He took his hand back up and looked at it. It was soaked in blood, dripping.

"This is nothing." He muttered. "I can still fight!" He raised Zambimaru high above his head, calling his name. "I'm taking you down! You stupid hollows!!"

He jumped in the air, ready to strike.

"No! Stop you Idiot!"

Renji sliced at the hollows, sending Zambimaru dividing and flying forward. He hit one it the side of the face but couldn't manage to cut it all the way through. The hit hollow let out a tremendous roar and knocked Zambimaru away.

Renji landed on his feet and readied for another strike. He was breaking into a sweat and breathing heavily. Ichigo ran to his side.

"You have to stop! You can kill yourself!" Ichigo shouted putting his hand on Renji's shoulder. Renji ignored him and kept his gazed fixed on the hollows.

_I know... I'm sorry Ichigo but... _

Ichigo started to shake Renji softly. "Are you listening to me?!" Ichigo shouted, jumping in front of Renji and shaking him harder, both hands on his shoulders. "You'll die! DIE!" Ichigo stopped and looked into Renji's face. Renji smiled slightly and put his hand on Ichigo's shoulder, pushing him aside gently. He turned his head to look at Ichigo who's once angry face was now filled with worry and stress.

"Sorry..."

Without waiting for Ichigo to respond he jumped in the air and began his attack. He swung again, this time piercing the hollow's mask and having it disintegrate right before his eyes. He waisted no time when landing and had all ready left the ground as soon as he had touched it.

His next attack was redirected at one of the hollow's arms. Renji felt the sharp pain in his stomach act up more then ever. He winced and grabbed his stomach. His attack was suspended in mid air and he took a hit from the hollow, being sent hurling to the ground.

Renji felt the impact of the cold hard concrete slam up against his body. He gaged and coughed up a large amount of blood. Pain shocked his whole body as he struggled to get up. Ichigo ran to him again, leaning down and turning him over carefully.

"Renji! Renji!!" He shouted. Renji groaned and stuck his sword in the ground, using it to steady himself up.

"I'm fine..." Renji coughed. "Just leave me alone."

He stood wearily, leaning on his sword for support. Ichigo stared at his beaten and battered form. He reached out a hand and touched his shoulder.

"Renji..." He muttered. "Please... Just let me fight now..."

Renji was shocked by Ichigo's response. He expected him to yell at him again but instead his voice was soft and sorrowful. Renji looked into Ichigo's face. His eyes were saddened and glistening like he was going to cry. Even with the blood smeared on his face, Renji could tell how hurt Ichigo was.

Renji sighed and bowed his head. "Okay."

Ichigo didn't respond.

Renji felt his hand leave his shoulder and Ichigo dash in front of him. He felt his eyes grow heavy and his vision began to blur. He tilted his head up, just in time to see Ichigo driving his Zampaku-to into the side of hollow.

His head began to nod and pounded more then ever.

"Ichigo..." He grumbled even though he knew Ichigo couldn't hear him. "I'm... I'm sorry..."

He then felt the grip on his sword loosen and all his weight fall forward. He slouched for a moment until slowly falling to the ground and blacking out.

-/-/-/-

Renji woke to find him self laying on his back in a soft bed. He had awaken but found he was reluctant to open his eyes or even stir. The comfort of feeling the soft material of the blankets rest softly on his skin was too great. Warmth seemed to wrap him in a warm embrace, one he wasn't going to let go of. In short, he was comfortably numb.

The room illuminated with the white light that peaked through the blinds and scatters on the bed where he lay. He was still for a moment, letting his memories slowly seep back into him.

_Ichigo..._

Even in his mind his voice was soft and broken.

_Ichigo...He was fighting...for me... _

Renji felt something brush against his chin. His comfortable numbness began to fade. It was soft and tickled. He cracked his eyes open slightly and grumbled a bit. The fragrance of strawberry filled his nostrils as he was surprised to be met with the sight of Light orange hair resting soundly on his chest.

"W...What?" Renji grumbled.

He recognized the sleeping form as none other than Ichigo. It looked as if he fell asleep in a chair and in his sleep, hunched over, resting on the now astonished Renji. Half of Ichigo's self still rested in the chair while his head and arms rested over Renji's body. Only the back of Ichigo's head was visible to Him and it was probably a good thing. Renji thought, if he had seen his face, he might not be able to control himself.

His heart started to beat faster and his chest tightened. There was a lump in his throat which he quickly tried to swallow back down. The motion his chest made from swallowing made Ichigo stir and he grumbled.

"Renji..."

Ichigo muttered, wrapping his arm around Renji. He rubbed his head against Renji's chest then picked it up and rested it again, moving into a more comfortable position.

Renji's body froze. He felt like his heart was gonna leap out of his chest.

_Wha...What should I do? I'm...Ichigo is..._

Renji's thoughts went unfinished and were soon in a mixed up mess. He felt he should wake Ichigo up but couldn't bring himself to.

"Ichigo...!" He tried to call, hoping he would wake up. He lifted a shaky arm and rested it across Ichigo, trying to shake him awake. He only seemed to nudge him though, not summoning up the strength to push him off.

"I-Ichigo!" He raised his voice slightly this time, hoping the calls and nudges would do it. He paused for a moment and studied his surroundings. It was several moments until he realized where he was. He was back in Ichigo's room, laying bandaged in his bed.

"How did I-?" Renji's voice was cut off by more mumbles from Ichigo.

Renji remembered his current situation and returned to trying to shake Ichigo awake. "Ichigo! Come on! Wake up!" He pushed Ichigo harder this time, feeling the strength in his arms returning. "Ichigo!"

Ichigo's eyes opened slowly. He grumbled and began to lift his head. "Whys my bed so hard?" He said, putting a hand to his head and wiping his eyes.

"Ichigo..."

Ichigo was surprised to hear his name be called. He flipped his head around instantly. Renji was staring at him with a flustered look on his face.

"R-Renji...!" Ichigo said as his eyes grew wide with surprise. "Your awake! You've been out for two days."

"T-Two days?!" Renji exclaimed. "What day is it? Wheres Rukia? Are you hurt?" Renji sat up abruptly ignoring the pain in head.

"I-Its Sunday." Ichigo studered, surprised by Renji's sudden out burst. "Rukia is spending the day with Orihime and No... I'm just fine."

Renji was relived by the last bit of Ichigo's news. "Thank goodness..."

"Wow Renji I never knew you cared about me so much." Ichigo mocked.

"W-What?! Don't get any ideas Kurosaki! I could care less if you died!"

"Yeah right. If I was gone you'd miss me terribly and you know it!"

Renji realized that what Ichigo said was true.

_If Ichigo died..._ _I...I don't know what I'd do with myself..._

They sat in silence for what seemed to be an eternity. Renji wanted so badly to speak out but couldn't find his voice. Ichigo hung his head and sighed.

"Is that... Is that really how you feel Renji? If I died...would you... just not care?"

Renji was shocked by Ichigo's words. "Not care...?" He echoed. "Ichigo...I..." Renji couldn't find the words to say. He felt his chest tighten again and his head pound.

_If Ichigo died..._ _No. Thats not how I feel Ichigo... _

"I... I couldn't possibly feel that way." Renji told him. "If you died I'd be devastated! It would be so hard for me! I...I don't know what I'd do without you!" Renji shouted. "Because... Because I..." Renji's voice began to trail off.

Ichigo looked up at him with an array of emotions in his eyes. Curiosity, surprise, worry, longing...

Renji kept his chin down and his face shrouded in shadow. His hand was curled into a fist and began to shake. "Renji..."

"Y-You see Ichigo... I um...I sort of..." Renji felt his heart beat faster with each word he tried to speak. "It may seem kinda strange but... I...really...really...lo-"

"Oi! Ichigo! Open up! Lunch time!" Ichigo's father shouted through the door.

"T-Thanks dad! I'm coming!" Ichigo replied. Renji began to panic and try to bolt for the closet door. "No! Its okay!" Ichigo assured him. "They know your here... my family that is..."

Renji was shocked by what Ichigo had to say. "They...know?"

"Well you see... they think your a friend from school who got beaten pretty bad. I told them you don't have anywhere else to go so they agreed to let you stay till you recovered. Lucky for you my dads a doctor and sewed you back up."

Renji listened as Ichigo stood up and threw him some cloths. " You must be hungry." Ichigo smiled. Renji sat in silence for a moment and held the cloths tossed to him. "Ichigo... About what I was saying before... You see I-"

"Don't worry about it." Ichigo said cutting him off. "If its really important you can tell me later." Ichigo said turning his back and heading for the door. "For now, get dressed. I'll bring your food up in a few minutes." Ichigo opened the door and shut it behind him without even looking back. There was a moment of silence before Renji sighed deeply and stood.

"Ichigo..." He muttered even though knowing Ichigo couldn't hear him.

"I wanted to say... I love you..."


	5. I love you, I hate you

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for possible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

"So did he tell you yet?!"

Renji blinked at the bright stuffed animal and groaned. Kon had jumped on his head and bent over, his face only centimeters away from Renji's as he shouted.

"What do you want Kon? I'm not in the mood..."

Renji shifted into a more comfortable sitting position while glaring at the strange animal. Kon's brows (did he even have any of those?) furrowed and he wrinkled his nose at Renji.

"I told you already! Now answer my question! Did he or did he not?"

Renji blinked at the stuffed animal before allowing a bewildered look to spread across his face. "Did he do what...?"

Kon sighed and then huffed, crossing his plushie arms and jumping off of Renji's head only to land in front of him. He growled before sitting cross-legged on the shinigami's lap and continuing.

"Did he tell you he _likes_ you?"

Renji felt a blush spread across his face. "What are you talking about?"

Kon smirked and stood up, striking Renji's now red nose. "Geez! You don't listen do you? He likes you. Ichigo likes you."

Renji almost felt his heart leap out of his chest. Ichigo liked him? Sense when? But, wait. This was Kon he was hearing it from. The plushie bastard could just be pulling his leg. In fact, he was sure the plushie bastard _was_ pulling his leg.

"Yeah, right. Shut up Kon." Renji pushed the odd stuffed animal away and leaned back onto the pillows.

"But its true!" Kon pouted, standing back up.

Renji ran a hand through his hair and growled. "Oh yeah? How so?"

Kon's frown was replaced with a smirk as he put a hand (did he even have hands?) to his chin and rubbed it mischievously. "Oh, just the fact he always seems to be saying... er... moaning _your_ name in the shower. At night too! He's awfully loud. Maybe I should record it for you some time?"

"SHUT UP!"

Renji picked up Kon and tossed him across the room with a powerful thrust. There was a crack when Kon made contact with the door and a yelp of pain from the abused plushie.

"OW! What was that for?! I was just _joking_!"

Renji ignored the plushie's cries of pain and complaints. He put his hand to his chest and felt his heart beat loudly in his chest. A blush crept up his nose and soon his who face was red.

His mind was filled with images. Dirty, exotic images involving the object of his affection and images that he really didn't care to discuss. That damn plush bastard got to him. Really got to him. He curled his knees to his chest and tried to shoo the painfully arousing thoughts.

_Damn it, Damn it, Damn it! I did NOT just think that! I may like Ichigo but thats just pushing it!!_

Renji rest his head on his knees and sighed. He remained that way for a while as Kon bickered and complained.

_That bastard is just lieing. Like Ichigo could ever feel that way about_ me

Renji sighed and buried his head in his knees, counting the minutes till Ichigo came back.

-/-/-/-

A loud and fast rap on the door shocked Renji awake. He found he had fallen asleep, sitting with his knees to his chest. Quickly he lifted his head to see Ichigo pushing the door open while smiling at him.

"Hey. Did you fall asleep again?"

Renji nodded and rubbed his eyes. It was odd for Ichigo to be smiling at him but the boy's tone was soft and kind, surprising Renji. He wasn't scowling or scoffing or mocking him or anything. He was just... smiling.

"What's with you?" Renji asked, blinking at Ichigo as the boy put a plate of food on a pillow in front of him. Ichigo looked at him for a moment, his ears perking before he smiled again and sat down in the chair next to the bed.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, your smiling for one thing. And what's with that tone? You act like you like me or something."

Ichigo was silent for a moment before looking over at Renji and frowning. "What? We're not friends?"

Renji shrugged back and glanced at Ichigo in disbelief. _Okay, something is wrong here. Sure we're friends but Ichigo would never admit that. Specially not to me. Maybe Kon put him up to this or..._

"Hello? Earth to Renji?"

"Huh? Oh!" Renji shook his head and forced himself to concentrate on where he was. "Sorry, just, strange hearing you say that."

Ichigo gave him a side ways glance for a moment before shrugging and taking a bite of his food. Renji looked down at the plate and grimaced. Curry and rice. Great. Renji hatted spicy food.

Ichigo looked back over at Renji after several bites and noticed he wasn't eating.

"What? You ain't hungry?"

Renji grimaced and shook his head. "No. It's not that, I just... don't like spicy food."

Ichigo blinked at him for a moment before bursting into laughter, making Renji jump a little at the sudden noise. "Hey! What the hell is so funny about that?!"

Ichigo smothered his laughter with his hand but couldn't keep the smile off of his face. "No! No! It's just, you look so cu-" Ichigo caught himself and search for a different word to describe this situation. "You just look so childish and it's... funny."

Renji blinked at Ichigo for a moment but that dumbfound strange look was replaced by a smile and a groan. Ichigo chuckled before opening his mouth and speaking. "Listen, just eat the rice half and I'll eat the Curry. Then I can give you the Rice out of my bowl so neither of us go hungry."

Renji nodded. "Yeah. Thanks."

-/-/-/-

Their meal together was anything but silent. They talked and laughed between bites, occasionally chocking and requiring the other's assistance to dislodge the clump of rice or meat. It felt good. Being next to Ichigo like this made Renji's heart beat faster. Just the sound of Ichigo's voice warmed Renji's heart. And although it felt incredibly good it was still incredibly bad. Renji knew getting closer to Ichigo, understanding Ichigo, would only make it harder in the end. But for the moment, he didn't care. He just focused on what Ichigo had to say and responded in turn.

But eventually, their meal had to come to an end. Renji set the bowl down next to him on the bed side table and sighed. "Phew! That was great! Your sis is a real good cook."

Ichigo smiled back at him and set his own bowl aside. "Thanks. I'll be sure to tell her that."

Renji yawned and stretched his arms. "Geez! I can't believe I'm so tired! I mean, I slept for like two days."

Ichigo nodded and a scowl soon replaced his pleasant features. "Hey, don't think you're sleeping in my bed again! I'm tired of sleeping on that damn futon! Your turn to sleep on the floor!"

Ichigo kicked Renji's side lightly and nudged him playfully until the shinigami grumbled and stood. Renji felt his legs wobble a bit and ache but moved them around and soon worked out the kinks. He looked down at himself and noticed his lack of cloths. He was in nothing but his boxers and the bandages that surrounded his chest and stomach. He felt a faint blush cross his face before a tap on the shoulder snapped him out of his embarrassed state.

"Here." Ichigo held out what looked like Renji's cloths, folded and neat in Ichigo's hands. Renji smiled and took them, fighting down the growing blush. "Thanks."

Renji dressed with Ichigo watching all the while, adding to his growing blush. Suddenly, a thought occurred to Renji.

_I didn't tell Ichigo yet... I mean, I was going to but now..._

Renji thought about how much fun he had had with Ichigo, how they had laughed together, talked together, ate together. I reminded him of what good friends they were. Yes. What good _friends_. That tugged at Renji's heart strings. No matter what Renji felt for Ichigo, they were friends above all else. If he told Ichigo then it was sure to ruin their friendship.

Renji turned to Ichigo, his face now more serious than ever. "Ichigo..." Ichigo shrugged back at the sudden seriousness in Renji's tone. He opened his mouth to respond but his throat was dry and it was all he could do to whimper a small 'yes'. Renji sighed and put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder.

_I don't want to lose something so important over something so stupid. If keeping it from him means keeping him happy, then I'm okay with this..._

"About what I said earlier... it..." Renji closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "It's nothing. Please, just forget about it."

Renji opened his eyes and let a small gasp escape his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, his eyes shimmering and narrowed. His face was saddened, his mouth in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed. It was much unlike the response Renji expected. He thought Ichigo would give his usual scoff or muter a 'whatever' and leave it at that but now Ichigo seemed... sad... almost disappointed.

"Ichigo... Why are you-_mmph!_"

Renji was cut off by a pair of arms wrapped around his body and set of soft lips on his own. He stumbled back a few steps before steadying himself and realizing what was happening. Ichigo was kissing him. Ichigo was _kissing_ _him_. Renji didn't get kiss back or respond. He was too shocked. Too many things shot through his mind at once, the most clear one being the thought of this being a dream. It must be a dream.

Ichigo pulled away after what felt like forever and buried his face into Renji's chest, never relinquishing his hold. "I love you." Renji looked down at Ichigo dumbfound and put a finger to his lips. Ichigo looked up at him, tears in his brown eyes as they locked with Renji's red ones. All Renji could do was mouth Ichigo's name.

"I love you, Renji! And... I know you feel the same way! You were going to tell me! You were going to tell me, weren't you?"

Renji didn't respond. He griped Ichigo's arms and held him like that for a moment, their eyes locking, before pushing him back gently. "I'm sorry, Ichigo. I... can't say I feel the same way." _No! What am I doing?!_

Ichigo's eyes widened for a moment before twisting in anger. "What are you talking about?! You do! I know you do! I... I was awake... that one time when you almost kissed me, I was awake!"

Renji shrugged back and suppressed a growl deep in his throat. _Damn! _"That was nothing! It was just...I mean... It doesn't mean anything!"

Ichigo growled and gripped Renji's arms, forcing him back against the nightstand. "Yes it did! Why are you doing this?! I love you, Renji! I know you feel the same way! Please! Please tell me how you feel! How you _really_ feel!"

This time, Renji didn't suppress his growl and shoved Ichigo off of him. "I already told you! I _don't_ love you! Were just friends, alright?!"

Renji almost felt his heart break as a tear tumbled down Ichigo's cheek. He almost reached up to wipe it away but remembered his place and immediately put his hand back down. He clenched his eyes shut and fought with himself.

_Just tell him you love him! Why are you doing this to yourself?!_

Renji didn't know where the voice came from but it seemed to tug at the back of his mind, torturing him.

_No! Things are better this way! I may love Ichigo but it just wouldn't be good! For ether of us!_

Renji's thoughts were cut off by the feel of soft lips on his. His eyes shot open and immediately realized Ichigo had kissed him again. He felt the warmth seep in through his lips, the feel of Ichigo's hands caressing his chest... He leaned in for a moment, about to kiss him back, ready to hold him when...

Renji pushed Ichigo away and spat on the ground. "Stop doing that! I already told you! I don't feel the same way!"

"Then what was that?! You kissed back for a moment! You almost held me! You _do_ feel the same way! Please, Renji! I love you!"

"Well I DON'T love you!"

Renji looked into Ichigo's eyes and noticed all the conflicting emotions that reflected in them. Ichigo blinked and another tear was shed. Renji just stood and watched as Ichigo cried tears of frustration, sorrow, rejection...

"I'm... I'm sorry..." Renji muttered. "I have... I have to go!"

Renji pushed past Ichigo, jolting out of the door and practically leaping down the stairs. He could hear Ichigo's muffled cries and pleas for him not to go, screaming his name in desperation. Renji touched his cheek and noticed it was wet. He swiped at the tears with the back of his hand as he opened the front door and bolted out into the red of the fading sun.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Chya! Chapter Five! BELIEVE IT!!! Sorry this one sort of sucked but I haven't written like this in a long time and I didn't want to disappoint yall and... Geez, I'm just making excuses. Well, I'm try to work the rust off of these fingers of mine and type better. I already know what I wanna do for the next few chapters so all I have to do is get it down on paper. On a personal note, I GOT CONTACTS!! WOO! GOODBYE GLASSES!! So I've been very happy! I might be going to my dad's and unfortunately, I don't have a computer I can use down there! T.T so yall might be left hanggin' for a week... or three...

**A special thank you to all of those who have reviewed!! You don't know how much it means to me! I can't say thank you enough!**


	6. Decision

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for possible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Renji had never felt so bad.

Every waking moment his heart ached. Ichigo's screaming, pleading voice still resound in his head. Sleep seemed impossible. When ever night rolled around and he laid in his futon, staring at the moon, all the thoughts and feelings that tore and tortured his heart would come and break him down. Slowly, painfully break him down.

He hadn't seen Ichigo sense. He didn't know if he even wanted to. He knew what would happen if he did. Ichigo would beg him again, try to make him stay and if he did... when he did... Renji's love would be too much to take and he might end up breaking Ichigo completely or giving into his feelings.

Renji sighed and rest his arm across his eyes. It was another sleepless night. He would have to get up again soon but he hadn't slept a wink. He had long sense returned to the soul society. In his opinion, that's what he should have done in the first place. Just have stayed in the soul society. If he had, none of this would have happened, he wouldn't feel this bad.

Renji winced and gripped his chest. His heart throbbed, his head hurt, he just felt like crap. Like he didn't deserve to live.

_I'm the worst... I don't understand why I couldn't just tell him... I... I don't even remember anymore..._

That's right. Why couldn't he tell him? Why did keeping his feelings from Ichigo seem like the best thing for the both of them?

Renji sighed again and turned on his side, hugging the pillow tightly. He knew he would have to return to the human world whether he wanted to or not. He had to pass Rukia's assignments to her. After all, it was their area.

He was scheduled to return tomorrow. He didn't even have anytime to think about how he was going to keep avoiding Ichigo. When ever he went to kill a hollow, speak to Rukia, patrol the town... Ichigo was sure to be everywhere. And why wouldn't he? Before all of this, they would do everything together. Now that he thought about it, he was always running into Ichigo. It was only a matter of time...

Renji tried desperately to suppress his thoughts and buried his face in the pillow. Tomorrow was going to be a _very_ long day.

-/-/-/-

Renji trudged reluctantly through the school halls. He knew Rukia's class times and where she spent her lunch breaks, so it wasn't too hard to avoid Ichigo. As long as he held in his reiatsu and kept his guard up, he was sure he could avoid confrontation with the orange haired substitute.

He buried his hands deep in the pockets of his pants as he face scrunched in concentration and deep thought. He assumed Rukia already knew. She probably knew all along. He wouldn't be surprised if Ichigo had told her everything. Then again, it wasn't like Ichigo to tell others how he felt, especially when it was something such as this.

Rukia spent her lunch breaks alone now. He remembered Ichigo telling him about how she had decided to eat alone for the past few weeks so it was no surprise when he followed her reiatsu to the empty class room. What was surprising was hearing her voice through the classroom door and also hearing the painfully familiar voice that followed after.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Rukia."

Renji heard Ichigo sigh and shift his back against the wall. Renji's breathing became erratic and ran short. His heart began to race and a bead of sweat rolled down his face as he pulled his reiatsu in tighter.

_How did I not sense him? How could I not have noticed?_

Renji was about to turn and run when Rukia's voice floated through the air.

"Well, what do you want to do?"

Renji stopped and listened for Ichigo's answer. There was a long silence and a grumble on Ichigo's part before the boy spoke, the same sorrow and hurt in his voice as when he cried out to Renji.

"I want to see him again. I want... I mean, I wish... I wish he would just tell me he feels the same way. I _know_ he does. I could _feel_ it. Whenever he was around, I could feel he was hurting... longing, just like me."

There was another pause.

"I just wish I could stop feeling this way. I want to stop feeling this way. I'm still hopelessly in love with him but... I just wish I never took the chance and told him. Then we'd at least still be friends. Then at least I'd still be able to see him, talk to him."

Now Rukia sighed and shifted. "Ichigo, you did what you felt was right. You did nothing wrong. Renji is the idiot here. He's... he's never been good with telling people how he felt. If you want I can drag him here for you. Maybe hit him a few times." Rukia gave a light chuckle but Ichigo wasn't laughing.

Renji hung his head and quietly rest his head up against the wall.

_I can't believe... I didn't think..._

Renji clenched his eyes shut and let out a small scattered breath.

_I never knew how much he was hurting before all of this. I must really have broke him. He doesn't... He just sounds so lost..._

His thoughts were interrupted by Ichigo's broken voice.

"I know this may sound strange but I'm a little relieved that at the least he's shunning me." There was a pause again and this time Ichigo sighed. "I mean, he could have hated me. He could have... mocked me, screamed at me, used it against me but instead... he just ignores me. And I know... I know it sounds strange but I can't help but feel that he's doing this to protect me. That he's doing this... because he doesn't want me to suffer. I love him. I know he loves me. And..."

"... suffering isn't something Renji would want you to do." Rukia finished.

Ichigo nodded as a shuddered sob escaped his throat. There was another sob followed by a whimper and then the sound of the two shifting, most likely so Rukia could embrace him.

Renji felt his heart break all over again. He couldn't stand hearing Ichigo cry like that. Hearing his voice so sad. Imagining him breaking apart in Rukia's arms. The worst part of it was he did it. He backed Ichigo into that corner. He's the one who was making him suffer. He's the reason Ichigo was breaking down on the other side of the wall. He was the reason. It felt like he was killing Ichigo. Dragging him down further into the darkness. He was killing Ichigo and with just three little words he could save him. Just three little words...

Renji's reiatsu pulsed with sorrow, regret, pain, longing but mostly love. His strong love for Ichigo which he could bring himself to admit. Not to himself but to Ichigo himself. He had often admitted to himself that he loved Ichigo. It was just Ichigo that he couldn't admit that to.

Suddenly there was a loud gasp and the sobbing from Ichigo instantly stopped. Renji listened and waited, wondering what was going on when all of a sudden...

"Rukia... Did you feel that?"

There was a pause.

"It... It's _Renji_..."

It was at that moment that Renji realized what they meant. His _reiatsu_. He let it slip. They felt him and now they knew he was here.

Renji felt himself panic. He backed away from the door and felt his breath become short.

"R-Renji...?" Ichigo called. Renji heard a clatter as Ichigo stood and saw his silhouette through the blinds that covered the windows.

Renji felt his back hit the wall and a loud clatter that followed as he crashed into a bucket and supplies.

Ichigo gasped loudly. "Renji!!"

Another wave of panic engulfed Renji as he scurried to his feet and bolted down the hall. He was running again. Just like before. He was running away and he couldn't think of why.

The sound of the class room door opening echoed down the hall. Ichigo literally jump out of the class room and looked around, only to spot Renji's spiky red ponytail rounding the corner.

"RENJI!!!"

Renji tried his best to pull in his reiatsu and made another turn before diving into a closet. Soon after, Ichigo's heavy foot steps could be heard coming up. Ichigo's panting could be heard only a few strides away. Renji tried to pull his reiatsu in even tighter but that didn't seem possible.

_Look at me... huddling in a closet, hiding from him like this... It's cowardly, pathetic... I'm pathetic..._

Renji pulled his knees to his chest and gripped them tightly, burying his face against his knees.

"Renji! I know you're here!" Ichigo cried. "Please! Just come out! Please! I need to talk to you... I need to see you... Please, Renji, Please!"

Renji covered his ears and tried desperately to block out Ichigo's struggled cries. A small soft escaped him and soon his cheeks were wet.

_This isn't what I want... This isn't what's suppose to happen..._

He listened to Ichigo plead a while longer before a second voice, belonging to Rukia, cam into play.

"Come on, Ichigo. It's best we just go."

There was a long pause and Renji was about to stand, thinking they were gone, when Ichigo's voice filled the tiny closet again.

"Renji... I'm sorry and... I really want to talk to you about all of this so please... When you feel up to it or when you think you can bare it, just come find me..."

Then there was the sound of heavy foot steps. Loud and slow, echoing Ichigo's pain. A second pair followed but were muffled compared to their companion's. Eventually they faded and Renji was left to grieve until he found the strength to rise and leave.

_When I feel up to it...? Ichigo... He really thinks that I'll come for him... _Renji let out a shaky sigh and ran a hand through his hair. _I don't even know..._ _If I should..._ _It just doesn't seem..._ _Well, it feels like the right thing to do._ _Heck, it's what I WANT to do!_ _But..._ _I don't know why, but I can't..._ _I just can't..._

Renji sighed again and stood still for a moment before running down the hall, down the stairs, and out of the school.

-/-/-/-

Renji had no clue why the hell he was here. He told himself it was just to get his things. Then again, he didn't have many things to get. Just some cloths. Nothing important. It wasn't like he would wear them in the soul society anyway.

But here he was. Sitting at the edge of Ichigo's bed, just looking down at his feet and thinking. Part of him wished Ichigo would come and find him. He knew the boy would have to be home soon. The sun was already setting and Ichigo was sure to be out of school. He knew all of this yet he still couldn't find the will to leave. And there the was the large part of him that filled him with dread, begged him to leave. Renji didn't know why but that part of him seemed right. Like it was the sensible thing to do.

Renji shook his head and sighed.

"I... know I shouldn't be here but it's not like I came to see Ichigo. I came to get my things... just get my things..."

Renji reached out a hand and patted the small stack of cloths to be sure they were really there. They were. They were there and so was Renji's feeble excuse.

He looked around the all too familiar room. He remembered seeing Ichigo lay in bed, almost kissing him, laughing with him, talking to him, seeing Ichigo happy...

They were all painful memories now that shocked his heart into a state of regret and sorrow. Renji clutched his chest and looked down sadly, his eyes narrowed. He breathed in a deep shaky breath and let it out slowly before standing.

"I shouldn't have come here. It was a mistake. Who am I kidding? I can't face Ichigo. Not the way I am now."

Renji was going to gather his things and leave when the door opened and a painfully familiar voice called out to him.

"Renji...?"

_SHIT!_

Renji turned slowly, his eyes slowly fixing on the substitute shinigami that now blocked his only means of escape. They gaped at each other for a moment until Ichigo broke the trance and took a step forward.

"Renji... Are you really here?"

It was all Renji could do to nod, never taking his eyes off of the boy. He swallowed the lump in his throat and tried desperately to form a coherent thought in his mind.

_I need to get away! Have to get away! I can't face him like this!_

"I just... came... to get my things." Renji chocked out as he gestured to the cloths that still sat idle on the bed.

Something in Ichigo's eyes snapped and the surprised look was replaced with that of sorrow and longing.

"I... I see..."

Ichigo hung his head and shut his eyes tightly before breathing in deeply to calm himself. There were a few moments of silence between the two of them before Ichigo looked up at Renji and smiled weakly.

"I'm sorry. I must be in the way. Sorry 'bout that."

Renji watched Ichigo's eyes flicker as they threatened to spill over with tears. Renji just nodded and reached behind him to grab the pile, his eyes never leaving Ichigo's. Ichigo took a few steps to the side and watched as Renji passed him, making sure not to make any contact with the boy.

Renji was almost out of the room, his heart hammering in his chest when there was a light touch on his arm. The gesture was enough to make him stop and he shuddered. Ichigo kept his hand on Renji's arm but didn't turn to face him.

"Renji... Can... can you promise me one thing...?"

Ichigo's voice was cracked and echoed with pain. Ichigo himself began to shudder as his body began to become weak with pain and a small sob escaped his lips.

Renji swallowed another rising lump in his throat and tried best to speak. "S-Sure..."

Ichigo was silent for a moment, the only sound coming from him was a muffled whimper that was caught in his throat as he bit down on his lip to stifle it.

"Just... Just don't forget about me, okay...?"

Renji felt his resolve begin to crumble away. Ichigo's hand left his arm and was quickly used to cover the boy's mouth as he retched in pain. Renji heard a thump as Ichigo fell to his knees, one shaky sob coming after another. Ichigo was breaking. He was falling apart right in front of him and what did he do? Nothing. He just stood there and listened to Ichigo break down.

Renji turned and for the first time, looked at Ichigo. _Really_ looked at Ichigo. Now as the boy knelled helplessly in front of him, crying in sorrow and longing, Renji couldn't help but feel the same. He felt tears sting his eyes as he was torn between two choices.

He could just walk away, continue to ignore Ichigo, leave for the soul society and never see him again

or

He could pick Ichigo up and cradle him in his arms, kiss away the tears and tell him how he felt. How he _really_ felt.

Renji closed his eyes and released a breath he didn't even know he was holding. Many thoughts raced through his mind as he balanced out his options. It was several more moments before Renji opened his eyes again to look at Ichigo's broken form. There was one thing he knew for certain. The Ichigo he knew, the Ichigo he loved, wasn't this lonely and broken person in front of him.

Renji sighed.

He had made his choice.

-/-/-/-

**A/N: **Guess what? GOOD NEWS!! I'm not going to my dad's house! WOO!! AND!!! My lil bro ans sis ARE at my dad's house! THAT MEANS IT'S JUST ME!! WOO-HOO!! or as Hiruma would say, "YA-HA!!!". XDD Well, I'm leaving yall hanging right here until the next chapy!! . I'm so mean!! Well, I've enjoyed all of your reviews! Thank you! I've never gotten so much feed back for a single story! IT'S GREAT!!! Oh! And props to whoever knows who Hiruma is. Allmost everyone I've met doesn't know who he is or the anime he comes from but that's probably because the anime has yet to come to America and the manga isn't all that popular. Only me and my girlfriend have the slightest interest (me more than her because I watch it as well) to it out our whole group of friends so... yeah...

**IF AT LEAST 5 PEOPLE CAN GUESS WHO HIRUMA IS CORRECTLY AND THE ANIME HE COMES FROM, THERE WILL BE YAOI SMUT IN THE NEXT CHAPTER OR WITHIN' THE NEXT TWO.** **XDD**

I really know how to motivate you people...


	7. My love

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for possible future yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Renji sighed.

He had made his choice.

He took a step towards Ichigo, his eyes never leaving the boy. Renji knelled down and in one swift movement, grabbed Ichigo by the waist and pulled him into him.

Renji felt more than he heard Ichigo gasp. He closed his eyes and buried his face against Ichigo's neck, pressing his chest closer to the boy's back. The tears that once stung Renji's eyes now spilled over as he tried to calmly speak.

"Please don't cry, Ichigo... I can't stand seeing you like this..."

Ichigo was stiff for a few moments before gradually relaxing and leaning into Renji's embrace. He sighed but it turned into a sob and was soon followed by another one. Renji's body tensed as he fought with himself. It wasn't too late to turn back. He could go, leaving this little piece of himself with Ichigo. He could just go again, this time Ichigo was willing to let him. But could he really leave now, when Ichigo needed him most?

Renji's grip on Ichigo tightened as he grumbled and buried his face in Ichigo's orange locks.

"I'm so sorry Ichigo... I don't want to do this to you... I don't want to make you suffer..."

Ichigo was silent before opening his eyes and pulling out of Renji's embrace. Renji watched him for a moment, the boy's back still turned to him. Part of him was glad he couldn't see Ichigo's face. He wouldn't be able to bear the sight of Ichigo's soft face scrunched in pain and frustration, wet with tears. "Renji... If this is just out of pity... If you don't really mean to stay... then please, don't do this... It would be easier if you just went..." Ichigo's voice was still broken. It sounded like it took all of Ichigo's strength just to force that sentence out.

Renji stopped.

Ichigo was right. This was just pity, he didn't want to stay and face Ichigo like this. He had made his decision and that was to leave.

"I can feel it, Renji... Your body has been tense this whole time. You don't... intend to stay with me..."

Ichigo feel silent as another sob escaped him. Renji stared at Ichigo with wide eyes now. It amazed him how the boy could read him like a book. "Your right... I'm sorry."

Something in Ichigo snapped at those words. He cried harder and retched in pain again. He was leaning forward, a hand covering his mouth, trying to smother the whimpers and sobs as his other hand gripped his stomach in attempt to settle it. He felt sick, like he wanted to throw up. It hurt more than any other pain he had ever experienced.

Renji watched Ichigo for what felt like forever. He felt as more tears gathered in his eyes and didn't keep themselves from falling freely. Slowly, carefully, he put a hand on Ichigo's shoulder. Ichigo tried to shrug it off but Renji wouldn't let him. E gripped the boy's shoulder and called out to him.

"Ichigo..."

"Please, Renji... Don't..."

Ichigo tried to shrug out of Renji's grasp again and it worked. Renji let his hand fall and looked sadly at Ichigo. He called out to him again, this time moving across the carpet on his knees and in front of Ichigo so he could face him and see the boy's face.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but I'm sorry. I'm really sorry Ichigo and... I hope you can understand that this... this is what I need to do... for the both of us. Your my friend Ichigo, one of the best I've got. I don't want to lose that in you..."

Ichigo nodded weakly but he didn't look up at Renji. Renji took Ichigo's face in his hands and tried to wipe away the tears but only made more for the boy. Renji sighed let his hands drop. When he did, Ichigo looked up at him for the first time. The pain and sorrow that shone on his face was overwhelming and heart breaking. Renji wanted to envelope Ichigo in his arms and just melt that pain away but had to refrain from doing so.

Then Ichigo was touching him, touching his face. The small pail hands ran along Renji's cheek and jaw line, rubbing ever so lightly as they shook. Ichigo reached up and lightly brushed his fingers across Renji's forehead, nose, even rubbing lightly over Renji's closed eyes. Renji understood. Ichigo was taking him in, looking long and hard at him one last time so as not to forget his every feature. Ichigo knew he may not see Renji for a long time so took this time to feel his skin, look into his eyes, run his fingers through his hair. Ichigo reached Renji's lips and ran his thumbs across them, smoothing the chapped skin.

"Renji..."

Ichigo called his name with such longing it was unbearable to listen to. Renji closed his eyes and Ichigo's hands reluctantly left his face. Ichigo opened his mouth and closed it again, trying to chock out the words he desperately needed to say.

"I... I love you... Renji..."

Renji felt his heart stop. He took a moment to breath, trying hard not to break down right then and there. He would wait for that. Renji opened his eyes slowly and looked back into Ichigo's eyes painfully. "I know... I know, Ichigo..." It flowed out so quickly, Renji wasn't sure that's what he really wanted to say.

Another long awaited sob left Ichigo. The boy looked back down, not bearing to face Renji. "_Please_... please, Renji _please_... I love... I love you... Renji... _please_..." Ichigo's cried were muffled and barley audible. Renji embraced Ichigo but didn't stay that way long because he knew the boy would force him to stay if he did.

"I'm really sorry, Ichigo. I won't forget about you and I'll try to come back to you some day, hopefully soon. We just need to be away from each other as we wait for this thing to pass."

Ichigo smiled weakly. "'This thing to pass'...? I'm sorry, Renji... It may pass for you, but... I will always love you..." Fitting last words for a dramatic scenario.

Renji stared at Ichigo for a moment, letting the words sink in. Ichigo didn't even look to see what kind of affect his words had on the shinigami. Renji sighed and more tears fell before he breathed deeply and gathered himself. "I understand..."

Although he knew it was wrong, Renji kissed the top of Ichigo's head before standing and walking out the door. The last thing he could hear was a thump as Ichigo's weary body fell over completely and his name being called desperately. Renji stopped when he remembered he had forgotten his cloths. It was too late to go back for them now... Renji shook his head. He didn't care. Ichigo could keep them, maybe having something of his could help ease the pain. Renji wiped the tears from his eyes before continuing down stairs and out the front door, leaving Ichigo for the second time.

"I'm so sorry... Ichigo..."

-/-/-/-

Renji didn't know how long it had been.

It felt like years sense he had left Ichigo there, crying on his bedroom floor. Every time he checked, it had only been about two weeks sense. Renji didn't believe it. He was starting to lose himself. Just sitting at his desk and signing paper after paper took all of his effort. And when he had to fight... He became so careless and distracted that Ikkaku almost sliced him in two when they were sparing. He didn't sleep well ether, adding to his growing problem. He was beginning to believe the choice he made might not have been the best. And then there was Ichigo's voice. It would creep out of the dark corners of his mind and taunt him, torture him for hours.

"_I will always love you..."_

That seemed to be their favorite line. It would play over and over in his head, tear at his heart and mind. Renji thought he could do it. He thought he could forget, get over Ichigo, but it seemed futile after all. By why should it have hurt this much? It started out as a small crush but exploded into this whole soap opera. He never believed it would go this far. He never would have believed he couldn't live without Ichigo.

Renji's thoughts and ramblings were cut off by a loud and fast rap on his office door. He snapped back to reality and remembered where he was; in his office trying to get at least a little work done. He looked over at the door for a moment before calling. "Come in."

The door immediately flew open and slammed against the wall with such force it made him jump. He blinked at the intruder for a moment before his brain finally kicked in and he recognized them as Rukia and she did not look happy. Her brows furrowed and a scowl was slapped across her face. Her fists were clenched and her teeth were gritted, glaring at Renji furiously. Renji stared dumbfound at Rukia for a moment before finding his voice.

"R-Rukia... What's with--"

"You!! You think your so smart, don't you?!"

Renji stared at her again, his mind trying to find a possible reason behind his friend's rage.

"Rukia, what is this all about?"

Rukia's glare intensified and in a few strides, had moved the distance between her and Renji. Before Renji even had time to react, she hurled her fist through the air, making contact with Renji's cheek. Renji rolled with the punch and spit out the blood that pooled in his mouth. He took a moment to register the pain before realizing he just got slugged by his best friend. He turned back to Rukia, glaring slighly.

"Damn! What the hell was that--"

"HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT THE HELL ICHIGO HAS BEEN DOING?!"

Again, Renji was cut off, this time surprised by what Rukia had to say. The way she said made it sound like something was terribly wrong... Renji's widened as he shook his head and gulped. The anger and sorrow in Rukia's eyes was intense and she looked like she could just kill Renji in an moment.

"Because of YOU Renji, his life has completely gone down hill!!" Rukia screamed. "He hasn't shown up for school in DAYS, he rarely comes out of his room or lets ANYONE in, he just sits around all days and waits for YOU!! HE'S WAITING FOR YOU, YOU FUCKING ASS!!"

Rukia huffed and paused.

Renji, thinking she was done, opened his mouth and was about to speak when...

"AND!!" Rukia paused again to take a deep breath. "RIGHT NOW, HE'S IN HIS ROOM, HUDDLING IN A CORNER AFTER HE JUST GOT RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL!!"

That right there made Renji's heart stop. "H-HOSPITAL?! Why?! What happened?! Is he okay?!"

Rukia growled and glared at Renji further, huffing, catching her breath before speaking. "So NOW you care..."

"DAMN IT RUKIA, ANSWER!"

Rukia fell silent for a moment more, hanging her head. Sorrow started to over come her, replacing the previous rage. She breathed in and out slowly, trying hard to calm herself before speaking.

"Yesterday... He... Ichigo tried... to kill himself."

Renji felt his heart sink low and break. Ichigo tried to kill himself? How? Why? Then it hit Renji. Rukia wouldn't be screaming at him like a mad women about this if he wasn't connected. Ichigo probably said something about what happened. After all, he told Rukia everything about what happened last time, but this time was different...

"H-How?! When?!" Renji stood from behind his desk, scattering paperwork and pounding his fist down on his desk. "Rukia, what the hell?!"

Rukia didn't say anything for a long time. She continued to look down, tears forming in her eyes. She shook her head sadly and put her hands to her face, covering her eyes. "We... the other night, we found him. He wasn't responding when we knocked on his door and when... when we went in, he had curled himself in a ball on his bed and was just bleeding. He... They think he tried to kill himself by slashing his wrists but the wound wasn't deep enough so he might have just been cutting..."

Rukia broke off and for the first time in a long time looked up at Renji. "I don't know... what to do, Renji..."

Renji watched as tears threatened to spill over in Rukia's eyes. He quickly walked to her and embraced her as the first tear fell down her cheek. "He _needs_ you, Renji... He's dieing without you... He's not... He's not Ichigo anymore..." Rukia let a sob escape her before continuing. "When... When we found him, he was crying for you... He just looked so lost and he was crying, calling your name like if he did it enough times you'd come for him... I hate to see him like that, Renji... Please... You have to go to him..."

Renji sighed and nodded as he tightened his grip on Rukia. "I'll go tonight."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Rukia sobbed again and wrapped her arms around Renji. "Thank you, Renji... Thank you..."

Renji nodded and then held Rukia as she cried for Ichigo. Renji couldn't shake the image of a hurt and bloody Ichigo crying for him. Ichigo needed him, more than ever, and he wasn't there. Renji just replayed the conversation he had with Rukia in his mind.

_Tonight... I'm going to see Ichigo tonight... _He promised himself. _Just don't do anything 'till then Ichigo... I'm coming..._

-/-/-/-

It was late. Way past the time Renji intended to leave at. He had tried to get done early so he could get to Ichigo's as soon as possible but his capitan came in latter that day with a fresh new stack of paperwork. It was already dark out and he was sure Ichigo would be sleeping by now. If that was the case, then he'd just sit and wait for Ichigo to wake up. He'd wait forever if he had to.

Renji looked up at the Kurosaki Clinic and jumped up onto the ledge of Ichigo's window on the second story. He quietly unlatched and opened the widow before slipping in soundlessly. At first he saw nothing, only hearing the deep breathing that came from the orange haired substitute shinigami. His eyes slowly adjusted and soon he could make out the out line of Ichigo's sleeping form. He slowly made his way over to him, careful not to trip or stumble on anything that might be blocking his path. When he reached Ichigo, he looked down at him and sighed.

Ichigo's right wrist was heavily bandaged as he clutched tight to a piece of fabric. His face was scrunched in pain and tears lightly slid down his face. Renji knelled down next to Ichigo and stroked his cheek, wiping the tears away. He leaned in closer to see the boy' face better in the dark and that's when he noticed the cloth for what it really was. It was one of the shirts he had left behind. Ichigo whimpered, snapping Renji awake. The boy tossed a bit before clutching the shirt to his chest and moaning in pain.

"Renji..."

Renji sighed and took Ichigo's hand in his, shirt and all.

"I'm here, Ichigo. It's okay now, I'm here for you."

Renji watched the boy breath deeply. The silence was deafening and hurt. Renji squeezed Ichigo's hand and kissed it, putting it to his forehead after and resting his head.

"Renji... Why didn't you get here sooner?"

Renji opened his eyes and looked up at Ichigo to see he was looking back. "Ichigo..."

Ichigo's frowned deepened as he took his hand back and sighed. "I told you Renji, if your just gonna pity me, then go. I don't need you if your going to do that."

Renji growled and for the first time in a long time, was frustrated with Ichigo. He grabbed his wrist, the bandaged one, and held it up for Ichigo to see. "What the hell, Ichigo?! What is this?! Why the hell did you feel the need to kill yourself?!" Renji's tone was hushed but harsh. Ichigo looked at him in surprise for a moment before frowning again and struggling to release his hand from Renji's grasp.

"This is all your fault you know. I wouldn't have... I wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for you."

Renji dropped Ichigo's hand and sighed. "Your right... sorry..."

"It's a little too late for that." Ichigo growled. Renji just nodded and fell silent. He deserved this. He deserved to be rejected by Ichigo, just as he had done to him. Renji bowed his head and took a deep breath before looking back up. He stared long and hard at Ichigo before standing. Ichigo looked up at him.

"Leaving already? I thought you'd at least try and argue."

Renji remained silent for a moment. He looked at Ichigo's face, the tears drying on his pail cheeks, his eyes narrowed, his mouth returned to that permanent frown. Ichigo stared up at him angrily and growled.

"Look! If your done here than you can just go! I don't want to-- _mmph_!"

Ichigo was cut by soft lips pressed against his in a gentle kiss. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked up to find Renji now hovering above his body, straddling his waist and steadying himself on his elbows. Ichigo didn't kiss back, he was frozen to the spot and didn't dare move. After what seemed like forever, Renji pulled back and rest his head against Ichigo's breathing heavily as his eyes slid shut.

"Ichigo... Please... I know I'm late and... I know you wont accept my apology, but... I'm sorry for making you wait so long to hear this." Renji paused and opened his eyes, looking into Ichigo's still shocked face. He shifted his weight onto one arm and used the other to stroke Ichigo's face. He breathed in and out deeply before smiling weakly and his eyes locking with Ichigo's.

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I love you."

-/-/-/-

A/N: BWAHA!! NO MORE TILL NEXT TIME!! Okay, this thing was rushed, I'll admit but I want to thank Pepsi brand soda, my special shrimp ramen, and my girlfriend for keeping me awake long enough to finish this piece of crap. Sorry I'm dragging this thing out but whatever. This chapy wasn't very good I don't feel like proof reading (sorry! It's late and I'm tired!) so I'll probably work on it and re-post it or something...

To you all I just have to say: **I'M SO PROUD!!** All most every single one of you knew who Hiruma was! Now I don't feel alone in my Eyeshield 21 fandom!!!

**BTW:** How do you guys feel about Eyeshield 21 yaoi?

**A**) EW!! ARE YOU KIDING?! (Me: T.T)

**B**) It's alright...

**C**) Never thought about Eyeshield yaoi...

**D**) YESH!! HIRUMA IS SEXY NO MATTER WHO HE'S WITH!!

And to whoever said Hiruma was like Grimm, I just have one thing to say: **OMG YOU'R ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!! I NEVER NOTICED BEFORE!!**


	8. Passion

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

"Kurosaki Ichigo, I love you."

Ichigo's eyes widened as he looked up at Renji who still caressed his cheek. "You... You really mean that?"

Renji closed his eyes and nodded. "I do, Ichigo. This time, I really mean it and this time I'm willing to stay with you." Renji kissed Ichigo's forehead lightly before running his hands through the orange locks and looking back down at him. Ichigo's features widened for a moment before softening and his eyes shining with tears. He quickly covered them with his hands and tried to breath steadily.

"Damn it... You always know just what to do to make me cry." Ichigo growled. Renji chuckled and smoothed Ichigo's hair back. "Yeah, sorry 'bout that." Renji rolled off of Ichigo and to the side where Ichigo rolled into him and he took the boy in his arms.

"Renji... I really... I really missed you."

Renji snickered and pulled Ichigo closer. "I can tell." He nudged the bandaged wrist to emphasize his point and Ichigo cringed. "That wasn't... I mean, It wasn't intentional..."

Renji propped himself up on his elbow to look down at Ichigo with widened eyes. "'Wasn't intentional'?! How can you not intend to take your own life?!" Renji kept his tone hushed but harsh. It made Ichigo shiver a bit and he would have backed away if it wasn't for Renji's firm hold around his waist. Ichigo paused for a moment, opening his mouth several times to speak before finding his voice.

"The first time I was cleaning Zangetsu and accidentally cut my hand." Ichigo put his palm to show a fresh scar across his palm. "It hurt but the physical pain seemed to drown out the internal. Whenever... the strain became too much I would just make the cut on my hand hurt and it seemed to ease it. But... the wound healed and I needed that release again so... I thought about cutting myself and..." Renji nodded in understanding. "You were just trying to cope and pain was the best way." Ichigo nodded in turn and ran his fingers across the bandage.

"I started to remember your words and began to believe that you'd never come..." Renji sighed and pulled Ichigo back into him. "But I did and I'm here now. Just promise me you wont do anything like this again." Ichigo chuckled for the first time and looked up at Renji. "I don't need to." If it was meant to be a joke, Renji wasn't laughing. "Ichigo." Ichigo's weak smile turned into an apologetic frown and he averted his eyes. "I'm sorry..."

Renji kissed Ichigo's cheek before shaking his head. "It's okay. I'm glad your telling me all this." Ichigo nodded. "I'm glad your listening." Renji leaned down to kiss Ichigo's cheek again but was stopped as Ichigo took Renji's face in his hands. They stared longingly at each other for a moment before meeting in a slow and sensual kiss. There was no hesitation this time, no shock or rejection. There was no need for ether to restrain their actions or push the other away before it became heated. There was just passion and longing as their actions resound their every thought and need.

Renji reclaimed his position on top of Ichigo and ran his hands up the boy's shirt and Ichigo did the same. They pulled away for a moment to breath and gaze into each other's eyes, searching for the mutual desire each was feeling. Ichigo nodded as if sensing Renji's thoughts and Renji nodded in turn. "Okay, then." Renji muttered.

Soon all conversation was lost and the only sound that could be heard were the short pants and whimpers from Ichigo as Renji sucked and nipped down his neck. Renji let his hands wander further up Ichigo's shirt and gave his nipples a light pinch. Ichigo gasped sharply as pleasure began to thread through every nerve at Renji's touch.

He groaned as he felt his shirt come off over his head and be tossed haphazardly into the dark room. Ichigo tugged at Renji's clothed shoulder and growled. "No fair." He hissed. Renji chuckled and sat on his heels for a moment to pull off the top of his Shihakusho before diving back down and reclaiming Ichigo's lips.

Ichigo moaned and ran his hands across the shinigami's back and through the loose strands of hair that had long sense escaped the spiky pony tail. Renji pulled out of the kiss and continued his journey downward, only stopping to lightly nibble on the pink stubs. Ichigo let out another moan, this one sharp and laced with need as he tugged at Renji's hair, trying to hurry him along.

"Please, Renji... I need..."

"I know, it's okay. I'm right here with ya."

Renji gently kissed Ichigo's lips before working his hands lower to unbutton the tight jeans. Ichigo held tighter to Renji's back and shoulders, prepairing for what was to come. Renji unzipped and, in one swift movement, pulled Ichigo's pants off of the boy's skinny legs and tossed the garment into the dark room as he had done with their other cloths.

Renji leaned down and kissed Ichigo deeply again as he ground his hips against his. Ichigo moaned but it was muffled against the shinigami's lips. He tugged at Renji's sash before successfully untying it and helping Renji to remove the last half of the Shihakusho. As Ichigo expected, Renji was completely bare underneath the uniform and was now nude in the presence of the boy.

Ichigo had little time to look Renji over before a blinding wave of pleasure engulfed him. Renji leaned down and, through the thin fabric of Ichigo's boxer shorts, nipped at his arousal. Ichigo let a shuddered moan escape his pail lips.

Renji quickly pulled down Ichigo's boxers, his prize springing loose as he reached for it. Renji swirled his tounge around the head of Ichigo's erection, earning another moan from the boy, before continuing. He took Ichigo completely in his mouth, swirling his tounge around under the sensitive underside and lapping at every surface available. Ichigo cried out as the delicious wet heat and pressure engulfed his senses. He tried desperately to thrust into that heat but his hips were held in place by Renji's strong arms. He squirmed and moaned as he gripped Renji's hair and shoulders, begging for more.

Then, in an embarrassingly short time, he was coming. He felt a tingle spread through out his body and only realized what it was too late. He nudged Renji's shoulder to try and warn him but soon had come and felt as Renji swallowed it with what felt like practiced ease. Renji's name came tumbling from his lips as his world went white and that wet heat released him with one final lick.

Ichigo huffed and untangled his fingers from Renji's hair, running them across Renji's back as the shinigami leaned back up to kiss him. Renji kissed his lips lightly and ground his erection against Ichigo's, groaning.

"Renji..." Ichigo sighed. "I need you... need to feel you inside me..."

Renji stopped and looked down at Ichigo, eyes wide. "But... We don't have anything to make it easier and I haven't prepaired you or-"

"I don't care! Fuck me dry! I just need..." Ichigo huffed a moment more before his breath steadied a bit and he closed his eyes. "I need you, Renji."

Renji smiled and kissed Ichigo. "I get it." He grumbled. "I need you too."

Renji then ran his hands along Ichigo's thighs, enjoying the small arousing sounds that came from the boy. He slowly lifted Ichigo's legs above his shoulders and set the boy into place as he pressed himself against his entrance, letting him feel his size. Ichigo winced and chocked back a gasp, trying to hide it from Renji.

Renji smirked and ran his hand down Ichigo's waist. "Not so tough now, huh?"

Ichigo grumbled and pulled Renji down for a rough kiss, silencing him. Renji took the hint and slowly began to slide himself in. Ichigo pulled out of the kiss and gasped, first in pain but then moaning in the pleasure that soon followed after.

Renji fully sheathed himself and gasped as Ichigo's virgin muscles tightened around his cock. He groaned and gripped Ichigo's hips, waiting for him to relax and get use to the feel of him.

Ichigo gasped and huffed, scrapping his nails across Renji's back and across his scalp, taking fist fulls of hair. "Renji..." He moaned, tossing his head back. Renji kissed Ichigo's lips before slowly beginning to move. He pulled out all the way to the tip before plunging back into the Ichigo, earning a loud gasp and deep moan. He continued like this, starting out slowly but eventually moving faster as desire and need grew.

Ichigo's arms slid off Renji's back and fell against the soft sheets. He desperately gripped them, feeling his renewed orgasm press against his stomach. The next thing he knew, Renji was grabbing, stroking him in time with his thrusts. Ichigo just about lost it right there when Renji brushed against something deep inside of him. He gave out a hardy moan and gripped Renji's ass, pushing him in deeper with each thrust.

"More... I need more..."

Renji groaned and altered the direction of his thrusts, realizing what Ichigo meant. He knew he had done right when Ichigo gave out another sharp gasp followed by a deep moan. "Yes... right there... more... Renji!"

Renji gasped and groaned as Ichigo tightened with each thrust. He felt himself strike the boy's prostate time and time again, knowing that must be the source of Ichigo's pleas and moans. Renji found himself calling out Ichigo's name, shuddering and gasping as he came close to his climax. He quickened the pace on Ichigo's cock and slammed into Ichigo harder and faster. "So good... You feel so good Ichigo..."

Ichigo cried out Renji's name and soon felt as he came for the second time, spilling his seed across his and Renji's stomachs. He clawed at the red head's back and tugged at his hair as he was pumped dry. Renji, feeling the intensity behind Ichigo's release, coming soon after, crying out Ichigo's name along with his own.

Renji's movement started to slow and become shaky. He thrust one final time before pulling out and collapsing onto Ichigo, feeling their heartbeats merge. Renji slowly forced himself to lay beside Ichigo, gathering the boy in his arms and holding his tightly against his body. He sighed and ran his hands through the boy's hair. Ichigo nestled against Renji's neck and practically purred as the older man massaged his scalp.

They lay in silence for a few moments, slowly coming down from their incredible high. Renji kissed the top of Ichigo's head tenderly and ran his free hand down his cheek. Ichigo sighed and Renji felt as his heart beat slowed to a normal pace against his chest.

"Ichigo? You awake?"

"No." The substitute shinigami sighed again.

Renji chuckled and continued his stroking and tender kisses. It felt good. The warmth their bodies pressed so firmly together, bright orange hair tickling his cheek, Ichigo's heart beat against his chest... they were all feelings Renji had longed for and now held tightly in his grasp.

"Ichigo..." Renji called. Ichigo opened his eyes and looked up at Renji. Renji's eyes remained closed. "Where do we... go from here?" Ichigo's eyes widened. "What do you... what do you mean?" Renji's hand stilled and his eyes slowly opened to meet Ichigo's. "I mean, what do we do? Do we tell everyone? Let them just find out? Hide it? I know Rukia knows. If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have come, done what I'd done, or be here with you now. If we want to keep it a secret than I'm sure Rukia wouldn't mind, but..." Renji sighed and wrapped his arms around Ichigo's waist. "This sort of thing is frowned now and days, isn't it?"

Ichigo cringed and buried his face against Renji's chest. "I... I don't want... to do anything that might cause trouble... but I don't want to hide things from our friends ether." Renji nodded and felt as Ichigo wormed his arms around his chest. "Renji... I've never felt so good." Ichigo sighed as a small smile crept across his lips. "I never imagined that I'd be here in your arms, feeling you hold me. I use to dream of us together like this but never did I think... we would come so far..."

Renji chuckled and nuzzled Ichigo's hair. "So you've dreamed about sleeping with attractive men before?" He teased. Ichigo blushed madly and punched Renji lightly in the arm. "Shut up! You're ruining the moment!" Ichigo wined. Renji grumbled and nuzzled Ichigo's hair, calming the boy and stroking his back softly. "Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry."

Renji replayed everything Ichigo said in his head. Ichigo didn't want to risk ruining his relationship with his friends and family but he didn't want to hide it from them ether. Renji sighed. Ichigo may feel good now but later, depending on his decision, he could end up hurting not only those around him but himself horribly.

Then Renji realized something.

_This must have been one of the reasons I tried not to end up with Ichigo._

He may not have been conscious of this thought in the past but now that he thought of it, it was always pulling at the back of his mind, begging for attention. It was there along with many other problems Renji had just now come to realize would surface. Renji looked down at his new lover.

"Ichigo? You awake?"

This time there was no response besides the deep breathing coming from the substitute shinigami. Ichigo had fallen asleep which meant he would have to wait until morning to talk to Ichigo about what they would face.

Renji sighed and kissed Ichigo's forehead before closing his eyes and allowing himself to relax, clearing his mind. The last thing he thought was the irony of how Ichigo's hair smelled like strawberrys, before he followed his new lover off to sleep.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Woo! New chapter! Hey, where are you guys? Did you die from the growing crappiness of this fic or have you just decided not to review now that the smut is over? Oh! Speaking of smut, how was it? I feel it was kind of rushed but it was only my second smut scene. T.T Hope I didn't fuck up TOO bad. Well, now that Ichigo and Renji are together what will everyone think?! Me and my girlfriend agree that there must be at least one person who must oppose the thing (if only a first) so it's time to review and vote! (I'm serious people, I'm at a total loss here! I wanna make it Isshin because in every fic I've read he's okay with it and that just seems a little wrong to me. I mean, I know he supports everything his kids do but he has to draw the line some where!)

**A) **Uryū

**B) **Isshin

**C) **Yuzu/Karin

**D)** Orihime

**E) **OTHER:

PLEEEEEEASE PEOPLE!! I NEED YOUR OPINION HERE!! HELP ME!!


	9. The Morning after, Orihime's feelings

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Waking up in the morning was like loosing a beautiful dream.

Renji opened his eyes only to have his vision blur at the sudden blast of sunlight. He groaned and shut them instantly, pulling the covers closer to him. There was a groan next to him as he wiggled unconsciously out of a pair of skinny arms that held to his chest and neck. His eyes shot opened and he was instantly met by sight of orange bright hair and the feel of a soft kiss being placed on his chest. His arms were still draped around a trim waist and a pair of hands reached out to pull him closer again. His name was called sleepily and Renji jumped realizing who it belonged to. Ichigo... He was with Ichigo...

He panicked for a moment, his mind fuzzy and trying desperately to find an answer to his situation. He tried to push out of Ichigo's arms and get up but Ichigo grabbed his arm before he could stand. "Don't go." He grumbled. "Stay and sleep."

Renji stared at Ichigo for a moment before realization hit him as well as memories from last night. It was okay now. He had told Ichigo he loved him, kissed him, and then...

Renji blushed and for the first time realized he was still naked. He gulped and quickly ducked back under the covers, huddling against Ichigo and trying to hide his growing blush. Ichigo looked down at him, confused. Renji had cuddled against Ichigo's chest, hiding his face and wrapping his arms around Ichigo's chest. "Renji? What's wrong? Why are you getting so close?"

Renji didn't respond and just tightened his hold on Ichigo. Ichigo put a hand on Renji's cheek and tried to lift his face but wouldn't budge. "Renji? Renji, what's wrong? Why wont you let me see your face?" This time Renji grumbled in response and felt his face burn with embarrassment. He slowly allowed Ichigo to lift his face and look at him. His eyes didn't met Ichigo's but that didn't stop him from noticing the smug look that slowly grew on the boy's face.

"Huh? Hey, Renji, why are you blushing?" Ichigo mocked. Renji grumbled again and tried to lower his head but Ichigo held in place. "What? I didn't quite make that out. Could you say it again?" Renji grumbled again before scoffing and looking Ichigo in the face. He muttered something barley audible before ducking back down and hiding his face once more.

Ichigo whined and tried to pry Renji's face away from the pillow but to no avail. "Come on, Renji! Just say it once more, and clearly this time!" He demanded. Renji grumbled. "Come on! Stop acting like a baby!" "I am not acting like anything!" Renji retorted. Ichigo rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Yeah... _sure_ ya aren't."

Renji glared at Ichigo for a moment before yelping as he felt Ichigo run his hand up his thigh. "I-Ichigo!" He gasped. Ichigo ignored the shinigami and continued his journey up the man's leg, enjoying the small sounds that came as a result. "Come to think of it Renji, you never did let me get a good look at you last night."

Ichigo gripped the sheets and slowly began to pull them off of Renji's body. Renji yelped and gripped the sheets, forcing them back up around to his neck. "Idiot, what are you doing?!" Renji gasped in a harsh whisper. Ichigo smirked as his hand reached Renji's growing member. "Come on, Renji, why so harsh?" Ichigo frowned as he gave Renji a light squeeze. Renji gasped and let a small moan escape his lips before biting down on his lower lip to keep silent. Ichigo smirked and used his free hand to untuck Renji's lip from his teeth and take it in his mouth. Renji moaned again, this time louder as he gave into Ichigo's touches.

Ichigo released Renji's lips and claimed his mouth with his own, using his free hand to explore Renji's body. Renji moaned into the kiss and felt as Ichigo rolled into him, him erection sliding over his leg.

"You're so tasty." Ichigo said between deep kisses and heavy breaths. "I want to taste more of ya." Ichigo purred, squeezing Renji roughly. "What's holding you back?" Renji moaned, rocking his hips in Ichigo's hand.

At that time, the door flung open, startling and halting them both.

"Good Morning Kurosaki-kun! It's time to get up for school! I hope you don't mind, your family... let... me..."

Apparently, the intruder was too busy with their greeting that it took them a moment to notice what sort of position the two men were in. Renji's mind froze. He searched his brain for a response or action that would be appropriate. It was only when the person said his name did he realize who they were.

"Ren... Renji-kun...?"

Renji stared into Orihime's horrified face and tried desperately to formulate a sentence. His mouth went dry and felt like someone stuffed it with peanut butter. All he could do was continuously open and close his mouth as he search for the right words.

"Get out."

Renji put a hand to his throat and wondered whether or not he spoke. It was when Orihime's eyes shifted to Ichigo that he realized it was the orange haired boy who had made the command vocal. Orihime didn't move and instead stared on as if the order went unheard.

Ichigo growled and quickly took the pillow from under Renji's head. "I SAID, GET OUT!!" Ichigo tossed the pillow at Orihime, forcing the girl to flee from the room with a startled yelp. The door slammed behind her and Renji tensed briefly before looking into Ichigo's eyes which were still fixed on the spot where Orihime was standing.

Renji reached out a hand and put it to Ichigo's cheek cautiously. "Ichigo..."

Ichigo jumped and his eyes locked with Renji's. Renji saw the sheer fear and terror that shone in Ichigo's eyes. He gazed at him, his eyes narrowing as they lost their surprise. "Ichigo... are you okay?" Ichigo stared back at him before sitting up, releasing Renji and dangling his legs off the bed.

Concern and worry overcame Renji as he rushed up to Ichigo's side resting a hand on his back to comfort the boy. "Ichi...?" Ichigo ignored him and stared down at his hands. "Did you see...? Did you see the expression on her face?" Ichigo's breath began to become short and shaky as his eyes remained wide. "She... She wasn't suppose to know... no one was..."

Renji gulped and closed his eyes for a moment, clearing his head. _So he didn't want anyone to know after all... _Renji wrapped an arm around Ichigo's shoulders and felt as the boy leaned into him for support. "Renji... she was _mortified..._"

Renji sighed and nodded. "I know, Ichi... This is why I wanted to talk to you before any of this happened. We needed to talk about what it would do, not only to us but everyone else around us." Ichigo growled and shrugged Renji's arm away as he stood. "So you're saying this is my fault?!" Ichigo shouted at Renji. Renji's eyes widened, this time in fear. "No! Ichi, I'm just saying we maybe should have done things a little differently." Renji's voice was low, barley a whisper as he tried to calm Ichigo. "Please, Ichigo, just sit down so we can talk about this rationally."

Ichigo growled again and clenched his fist before sitting back down next to Renji. Renji didn't extend an arm to wrap around Ichigo's shoulders or try to touch him. He knew that with Ichigo the way he was now, if he tried to calm him Ichigo would just fly off the handle and scream again. Instead, Renji took up the top his shihakushō up off the floor and slipped into it, soon after retrieving his bottoms and sash. He gathered Ichigo's cloths too and handed them to him wordlessly. Ichigo slipped into them and sat back down next to Renji.

A heavy silence rest between the two of them. Renji would shift uncomfortably from time to time as he waited for Ichigo to simmer down. It seemed like forever until Ichigo sighed, his shoulders dropping. Renji let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and cautiously took Ichigo's hand in his, their fingers intertwining. Ichigo breathed deeply again and leaned his head against Renji's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

Renji let a soft smile adorn his lips as he kissed the top of Ichigo's head before speaking. "No, it's okay. I understand. You're... scared..." Ichigo nodded and tightened the grip on Renji's hand. "She just... looked so _hurt_, so _betrayed_, _horrified_."

Renji sighed and closed his eyes. "I know, Ichi, but... we can't expect everyone to take it well. Some may shun and scorn us or disown us completely while others will stay behind us and support everything we do, One Hundred percent." Ichigo nodded and wrapped his free arm around Renji's waist. "I know, but... I don't know... what to do when I see her next."

Renji wrapped an arm around Ichigo's waist in turn and nuzzled the boy's soft orange hair. He was about to speak when Ichigo continued. "Renji, I don't care... If I lose everyone... I don't care if all my friends and family shun me... I don't care if I lose everything... All I need, all I want is you. I can't live without you, Renji... Your everything to me, my whole world. I love you, Renji."

Renji gulped at the speech and open confession. "Ichigo..." Ichigo looked up into Renji's startled eyes and smiled. Renji stared back for a moment before calming and smiling back at the boy. "I love you too, Ichigo." Renji leaned down and kissed Ichigo's lips lightly. Ichigo happily kissed back and ran his fingers through Renji's hair. The two stayed like that for a long time, only pulling away momentarily to breath. They were oblivious to the listening ears of Orihime from the other side of the door or the fact that she was glaring heavily at the door, holding back the murderous jealousy that rose from within her.

"Damn you... Renji..."

-/-/-/-

**A/N: **YAY for quick update! BOO for the shortness of the chappy. T.T Well, I already have one hater down. I guess Ishida will oppose them too and other than that, I've got nutin'. I hope to end this fic some time in the near future but not too near future. Well, I hope you enjoyed and keep putting up suggestions and votes! I need as many as I can get!

**HAPPY EARLY B-DAY TO SILVERSHELL!!! HOPE YOU ENJOYED, DUDE!! **


	10. Because you hurt

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

So far, Ichigo wasn't having one of the best days in his life.

He was, of course, late for school after the morning's incident. He had gotten ready quickly and even skipped breakfast but still missed his first period. On top of that, Orihime was avoiding him the whole day while what he really needed was to talk to her. She wouldn't even look at him and whenever he would approach her she would walk away or tense. He considered asking Tatsuke to speak to her for him but that meant he would have to tell her everything and he wasn't ready for that.

It was almost time for lunch as Ichigo sat through his literature class. Normally he would be very attentive but today he rest his chin in his hand and gazed out the window, shifting through the mess of thoughts running through his mind. He thought back to everything that happened throughout the weeks and thought through every time he had been with Renji. First he told him he loved him. Then he didn't see Renji for days until he arrived at school that one day. Ichigo didn't even know he was there until he felt the familiar reiatsu pulse. And then Renji had come to his home and once again left him as a broken mess. Now he had told Ichigo he loved him too and then they kissed and...

Ichigo looked down at his book, trying to force the ever growing blush from his face. Now he understood why Renji was so embarrassed this morning. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't believe he and Renji did... _that_. Sure, he wanted it, but if they hadn't then maybe he wouldn't be in this whole mess with Orihime. Ichigo sighed and looked over at her desk. She was sitting with her arms resting across her desk and looking up at the teacher as she spoke. Her eyes seemed fixated but anyone who knew her better could tell she was off in her own little world again. At least she _seemed_ to be like her normal self.

Ichigo almost jumped as the bell rang and they were dismissed for lunch. He watched a few people begin to stand before closing his book and getting things together. He sighed again and looked down at his desk for a moment, taking a few moments to compose himself and get ready to face his friends. He was sure Orihime hadn't told anyone but if she had, Keigo would be all over him about it. Ichigo groaned and ran a hand through his spiky hair.

"Kurosaki-kun...?"

Ichigo looked up in surprise to find Orihime standing in front of his desk. Her hands were clasped together and held childishly to her chin. She wore a faint blush and her eyes widened slightly and shimmered. Ichigo stared at her dumbfound before snapping back to reality and formulating some form of acknowledgment. "Y-Yeah...?" He crocked.

Orihime averted her eyes for a moment before having them lock with Ichigo's. "I need... to speak with you..." She fidgeted and averted eyes again the moment the words were spoken. Ichigo nodded and smiled weakly. "Okay. How about during lunch? We can talk in private." Orihime nodded and smiled back at him. "Thank you, Kurosaki-kun. I'll go tell Tatsuke and the others I wont be eating with them and then I can come back." Ichigo nodded and put up a hand as if to say "got it" and watched Orihime follow after the last two students out of the classroom.

Orihime made it out of the classroom as the last person and closed the door behind her. Chizuru stood by and watched with Orihime as the last of the students turned the corner and went out of ear shot. Orihime turned to Chizuru, an abnormally cold look on her face. "Did you set everything up?" Chizuru smirked and held up a tiny black microphone, the kind that can be worn under clothing, and waved it around. "You bet! All we need now is your brilliant acting ability, Hime-chan."

Orihime let a faint smirk play across her lips which looked strange because it was very unbecoming of her and didn't rest nicely on her normally cheerful features. "Good."

-/-/-/-

Ichigo decided to skip lunch and just waited until Orihime had gotten hers and returned. They now sat in the quiet, empty class room as Orihime took a few bites of food before turning to Ichigo. They stared at each other for a few moments before Orihime sighed and broke the silence.

"So... um... about this morning..." Orihime fidgeted, setting her food down beside her. Ichigo sighed and nodded. "Yeah... about that...well..." Orihime looked back at Ichigo and again their eyes locked. Ichigo watched as everything for fear to understanding flashed across her green eyes. He wasn't sure what expression his face held but he knew for sure that he was blushing.

"So... do you?" Orihime squeaked. "Do... Do I what?" Ichigo asked. Orihime paused for a moment and looked down at her hands. "Do you... Really love Renji-kun?" Ichigo's eyes widened before slowly and calmly narrowing. "Yeah..." He muttered. "Yeah, I do..."

He watched as Orihime's hands balled into fists against the gray fabric of her skirt. He features tensed for a moment as if struggling with herself and she bit her lower lip. Ichigo sighed. He wanted to reach out and put a hand on her shoulder or do something to comfort her but he knew that wasn't the best thing for her right now and definitely not from him. He settled for words instead.

"Orihime... I understand if you don't think this is right or don't want to hang around me anymore but--" "Oh no! Kurosaki-kun I don't think that at all! And, you are my friend so..." Orihime trailed off as she looked into Ichigo's face. It was so cold and demanding to be heard. She stopped and waited for him to continue, not daring to interrupt him again. But then again, isn't this what she wanted? Why would she stop him now?

"Orihime..." Ichigo continued. "I need you to understand. This may not seem like the best thing to you, regardless of what you may say, but I need him. I can't... live not knowing he'll be here." He paused and looked down to the floor. "You see, I told him I loved him but, out of a desire to protect me, he refused and insisted he didn't feel the same way. It... really hurt..." He turned back to Orihime and watched as she nodded sadly before he continued. "And then after so long, he came back last night and told me he loved me... I don't know what Rukia did to knock some sense into him but it worked and then..." "You guys slept together." Orihime said, picking up where he left off.

"Yeah..." Ichigo nodded. "That's why we were like that when you found us this morning." Then there was silence. Both of them stared at the ground. Ichigo played through the conversation in his head and remembered something important he had left out. "Ah, Orihime?" "Yes?" She looked up at him but he didn't look at her. "Could you not tell anyone...? About me and Renji, that is. We... I mean, I sort of don't want everyone to know." There was silence for a moment before Ichigo heard a snicker. He looked around the room for the source of it. Only when it was accompanied by a cold voice did he realize who it belonged to.

"That's too bad... Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo's eyes trailed around to meet Orihime's. He was shocked by the smug look that played across her face and the spin of murderous emotions in her eyes. His mind went blank and he was only snapped back to reality when two bickering voices came from outside the door. There was a smack and a crash and then the door flew open revealing a very shocked and very pissed Rukia.

"YOU!" She hollered, pointing in Ichigo's direction. He looked at her in curiosity, confusion and fear as she stomped over to where he and Orihime sat. He expected to be grabbed by his shirt and hoisted up instead watched as Rukia grabbed Orihime and glared down at her. "What the hell did you do?!" She shouted in hysterics. Orihime snickered, her face now void of all emotion. "Simple, Rukia-chan. What you should have the moment you found out."

Rukia growled and shouted in frustration before taking one of her hands from Orihime's shirt to slap her across the face. Ichigo watched as Rukia's palm made contact and with a loud slap had Orihime's head turned to face him. Orihime looked back at her, the same expression as before, none.

"Rukia..." Ichigo called. He was afraid. Afraid that Rukia might do something horrible to Orihime and afraid to know what this was all about. Rukia ignored him and growled. In an instant she pulled Orihime's top open and reached inside, pulling out a small black device. She held it out for Ichigo to see before throwing it to the ground and stomping on it. "That was the school's." Orihime said calmly.

Rukia finished her onslaught on the box and turned to Ichigo, still holding tight to Orihime. "She broadcast it Ichigo!" Ichigo looked on in confusion. "What do you mean...?" Rukia growled and turned back to Orihime. "She broadcast your conversation around the school! THE WHOLE DAMN THING!" Rukia screamed in Orihime's still cold face.

"Yes, and I helped..."

Ichigo jumped out of his skin as another voice chimed in from the doorway. His head spun around to see Chizuru looking over at him. Unlike Orihime, she wore a smug look on her face. Understanding dawned on Ichigo as Rukia's words sunk in. Orihime had tricked him into spilling everything in front of everyone without him knowing. He gave a small gasp and looked from Orihime to Chizuru a few times before fixing on Chizuru.

"Chizuru... I thought you of all people could--" "Don't make me laugh! You think I'm doing this because your some gay fag? Please! You think I care what you do?" Ichigo was confused once more and now gaped at the girl. "Then... why?" Chizuru snickered and shifted her weight. "You hurt Hime-chan. I can't just let you go for that."

Ichigo felt as his world came crashing down around him. A sense of panic overcame him as he heard heavy foot steps coming down the hall, probably most of them students. He stood and looked at Orihime once more before dashing towards the door, pushing past Chizuru and running franticly down the hall just in time to see his classmates watch him on shock and awe. Ichigo forced back the tears that stung his eyes and ran out the school's double doors.

_No way... This is NOT happening..._

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Ah! New chappy! This one was about as long as the last but much more interesting! Before you guys start flaming, I do like Orihime but I just like the thought of her being the bad guy. Sorry. Speaking of bad guys, I HATE AIZEN!! How many of you are with me on this? I hate the traitorous fagot's ass but 4/5 of the bleach fans I've met are like, "Oh, I looooove Aizen-sama!!". I swear, their worse than Sasuke fan girls!!! If you hate him (or Sasuke) give me a "HELL YEAH!!" and if you like him then please tell me why. I cant see any reason why ANYONE would like him... Besides his bad ass sword...


	11. Understanding

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Ichigo was humiliated.

He hadn't stopped running until he had reached his home and even then he kept going until reaching his bedroom door. He opened the door with such force it banged against the wall leaving a small dint. He looked around his room franticly but there was no Renji. He panicked for a moment before calming himself down for a moment and remembering what time of day it was. Renji had promised to be here when he got back from school which meant he didn't think it would be a problem if he went out while Ichigo was suppose to be in school. He didn't know Ichigo would be forced to return home so soon.

Ichigo sighed and sank down to his knees. He couldn't believe everything that was going on. How could Orihime do that to him? Why did she have to do that? She could have just talked to him but... Ichigo felt tears sting his eyes and he didn't fight them. He swiped at them but more just came. He didn't hear the sound of foot steps behind him so was surprised when a large hand touched his shoulder. He gasped and immediately turned, hoping it was his shinigami lover. It wasn't.

Ichigo's father knelled next to him, his hand never leaving the boy's shoulder. Ichigo looked into his face with wide eyes. Did he know too? Did he see Renji? Isshin moved his hand from Ichigo's shoulder and put it on his head, smoothing back the boy's hair like he use to do for him when he was little. "Son... what's wrong?" Ichigo looked at his father and felt as tears streamed down his face. He suddenly felt very sick as he fell against his father. Isshin caught him, wrapping an arm around Ichigo's shoulders as his eyes widened in concern. "Ichigo...?"

Ichigo heard a door open and close before his name was shouted and the sound of someone running towards him became clear. For a moment he thought it was his father but how could that be? His father was still here holding him. Then Karin and Yuzu crossed his mind but they were at school, weren't they? It was only when a warm hand rest on his shoulder and a familiar reiatsu engulfed him that he realized who it was.

Ichigo jumped out of his father's grasp and immediately spun around. His eyes widened as Renji looked back at him, frightened and confused. "Ichigo, what's wrong?" Renji reached his arms out and Ichigo, almost literally, flung himself into his arms. Ichigo wrapped his arms around Renji and cried again. Renji returned the embrace but the fear and confusion in his eyes still shone. "Ichigo? What's wrong? Why aren't you at school? Why are you crying?" Ichigo didn't say anything for a long time. Renji looked at Isshin who looked at him, the same expression and emotion on his face as Renji's.

"Orihime..." Ichigo whined. Renji jumped a little and looked back at Ichigo. "Orihime? Did she do something?" Renji questioned. Ichigo nodded slowly. "She... told... Her and Chizuru, they t-tricked me into telling e-everyone..." Ichigo huffed, trying to steady his breathing. "She... got me to _everything_..." Renji didn't think his eyes could possibly widen anymore than they already had but they did. He leaned down and stroked the boy's hair as he whispered in his ear. "Oh, Ichigo... I'm so sorry... I know you didn't want this... This is what I was afraid of..." Ichigo leaned his head back and looked up at Renji. He swiped at the tears on his face before facing him and sighing. "Renji... what are we... what are we going to do...?"

The moment was interrupted by a cough from beside Ichigo that made their heads turn. Ichigo looked at his father who had been forgotten with wide eyes. He clutched tighter to Renji's shinigami robes and cringed. Renji understood why Ichigo was so uneasy. Renji ran a hand through Ichigo's hair and looked down at him. "It's okay, Ichi. He knows." Ichigo looked up at Renji, his eyes still wide. "Really...?" Renji nodded and smiled sadly. "Yes. It's okay." Renji felt Ichigo's body relax and the hold on his robes loosen.

"But... How did he--" "I've known all along, son." Ichigo looked over at his father who cut in. "I've known about everything. From the time Kuchiki Rukia transfered her powers to you, I've known everything." Ichigo's eyes widened as he gulped. He tightened the grip on Renji's robes again and for the first time noticed Renji was a shinigami and not in his gigai. Ichigo looked back up at Renji and then to his father. He did this several times before fixing on his dad. "Dad, your... your a...?"

Isshin nodded and smiled softly. "Yes, son. I'm a shinigami."

-/-/-/-

Renji smiled softly as he pulled the covers around Ichigo and watched the boy sleep. It still seemed awfully early but the sun was already beginning to set so it must not have been too early. Renji sighed at the sleeping boy before kissing his forehead and smoothing his hair back.

"Poor boy. He sure has had to suffer through a lot lately."

Renji looked over his shoulder at the direction of the comment and heard Isshin's faint foot fall as he came and stood next to Renji. Renji watched him for a minute before turning back to Ichigo. "Yeah... And most of his suffering has come because of me." He sighed. "True." Isshin muttered. "But can you really blame yourself? You did what you thought was right by trying not to get together with him but it just ended up doing more harm then good. You tried to talk to him about it but never even got a chance because he was too hasty." Isshin paused and drew in and out a deep breath. "I'm not saying it's his fault though. No one is to blame here. Not even Inoue-chan. She was just doing what she felt was right even if it wasn't."

Renji nodded slowly. "Yeah, but..." Renji paused and sighed. "If it wasn't for me--"

"Don't finish that sentence Abarai-kun."

Renji looked up at Isshin in shock. "Wha... What do you..."

"Don't say things like, 'It's my fault' or 'Ichigo would be better off if he'd never met me'. It's not true and you know it as well as I. If it wasn't for you, Ichigo wouldn't have become so open. He doesn't like to admit it but because of you, he's changed. He doesn't scowl all the time anymore, He doesn't brush off other people's help, and he actually smiles. You made him smile again. You don't know how happy that makes me." Isshin looked at Renji and smiled softly. "So don't be blaming yourself when all you deserve is thanks."

Renji looked at Isshin in surprise, his eyes wide, his mouth open a jar. "K-Kurosaki-san..." He muttered. Isshin's smile grew into a goofy grin as he gave Renji a thumbs up. Renji's smile grew as well and soon they were beaming at each other.

Isshin redirected his smile to his son who still slept soundly and his eyes became soft. "Can't blame him for sleeping. The boy cried so hard it wore him out. Not to mention all the other horrible things he's had to put up with." Renji nodded and looked back to Ichigo too. "Yeah. He took your news better than I expected though." Isshin nodded now too and fell silent. They watched Ichigo sleep and before they knew it, it was dark.

Isshin Yawned as he stretched his arms and turned to the door. "I'm going to cheek up on Karin and Yuzu then head to sleep. Goodnight." Renji turned to Isshin and his mouth hung open for a moment before the click of the door handle made him snap back to reality. "W-Wait! Where am I gonna sleep?" Isshin stopped and looked back at Renji, a sly look now plastered across his face. "With Ichigo, of course." Renji gaped for a moment more before the meaning of Isshin's words sunk in. Renji shook his head and cleared his throat before forming a response. "Bu-But... uh..." "It's fine. Just no sex. I don't care how much you love him, he's still only sixteen."

Renji gulped hard and tried to keep his face neutral. "Uh... eh, yeah. Of curse not." Renji laughed nervously. He watched Isshin give a silent wave of his hand and walk out of the room until releasing a long withheld breath. "That guy... he better not have just been messing with me..." Renji grumbled.

"Knowing him, I bet he was."

Renji turned back around and smiled at Ichigo who now looked up at him. He sat down on the mattress and smiled down softly at the boy. "Did you sleep well?" Ichigo took Renji hand in his and laced their fingers together before sitting up and leaning against the shinigami. "No. You weren't there with me." Renji felt himself blush slightly and for once was grateful the room was dark.

Renji sighed and leaned his head against Ichigo's. "Yeah, yeah." He muttered. Ichigo wrapped his free arm around Renji's waist and leaned up to kiss his cheek, instead meeting his lips. Renji smiled and poked his tounge at Ichigo's lips to grant access. Ichigo happily obliged and opened his mouth. Renji slipped his tounge inside and couldn't help but let a small sound of pleasure escape him as their tounges met.

Renji felt himself be flipped and pushed down onto the bed as Ichigo hovered above him and straddled his waist. "Ah... Ichi, were not--" "Sh..." Ichigo put a finger to Renji's lips before reclaiming his mouth and running his hands underneath the folds of Renji's shihakushō. "Ichi..." Renji whined. Ichigo just silenced him again with a kiss and caressed the shinigami's chest. "Renji..." He called in his ear. Renji squirmed under Ichigo's touches and let out a small moan. "Ichigo..."

Just then, the door opened, not quite bursting but loud enough to halt them both. Ichigo looked over at the door with wide eyes and Renji did too. Ichigo gulped and smiled nervously at his father who hung in the door way, staring at the two with a neutral tone. "Uh... H-Hey dad..." Ichigo laughed nervously. "K-Kurosaki-san I--"

"No sex." Isshin said calmly. Then he turned and shut the door, leaving the two alone again. It was awhile until Ichigo looked down at Renji, the same nervous expression on his face. "Uh... I guess we better do what he says." Renji nodded and chuckled nervously. "Y-Yeah..."

Ichigo moved off of Renji to lay beside him. The shinigami wrapped an arm around the boy's waist and pulled him into his body as he shifted onto his side. Ichigo sighed and rest his cheek against Renji's chest as they slowly began to melt together. "Hey, your not gonna sleep in your shihakushō are you?" Ichigo asked after awhile. Renji grumbled and pulled Ichigo closer. "Well I ain't gonna sleep naked." He snorted. Ichigo sighed and wrapped his arms around Renji's waist and neck. "Well you did last time." Renji blushed again. "S-Shut up! That was... different."

Ichigo chuckled and nodded before nuzzling Renji's chest and resting comfortably against it. "Yeah..." All went silent except for the sound of their heavy breathing as they began to slip off to sleep. "Hey... Ren?" Renji looked down at Ichigo and smiled. He liked hearing Ichigo call him that. "Yeah, Ichi?" Ichigo shifted for a moment before resting his head against Renji's neck. "I don't know... what to do anymore..." Ichigo paused and listened as Renji sighed and squeezed him tighter. "I mean, all of this... with Orihime and dad and the school and... us. Everything is just changing so fast. I don't know... if I can handle it..." Renji nuzzled Ichigo's hair and breathed deeply in his sent. "I know, Ichi..." He sighed. "But... you don't have to do any of this alone, you know? Whatever happens, I'll be right there to help you through it. We'll do this together."

Everything went silent once more and the only thing that could be heard was Ichigo's deep breathing. Renji stroked the boy's hair and kissed his head tenderly. "Ichi...?" Renji looked down at the boy who had finally drifted off to sleep in his arms. He smiled softly and kissed Ichigo's forehead. "I love you, Ichigo." There were a few moments of silence before a soft hum came from the boy. "I love you too... Renji..." Renji smiled and continued to stroke the boy's hair before he soon too fell asleep right along with Ichigo.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Meh. My chapters seem to be running short lately. Oh, well... Just to let you guys know what's going on, on August 4th I'm going to my dad's house for a week before flying up to Indiana for the Gen-Con. That means I'll have no time near a computer so I wont be able to type but if I'm lucky I can go to the library to read yall's reviews!! YAY!! And then after I get back from Indiana on the 16th, I start High school (lucky me -.-) so I don't know how much I'll be able to type a week. Ah, well... I wont abandon you guys, don't worry! But I won't be able to type for awhile, so sorry... T.T

**I LOVE YOU ALL!!! THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME SO FAR!!**


	12. A dirty shower, I'll always be here

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Renji was the first one to wake in the morning. When Ichigo opened his eyes, Renji was smiling at him softly, stroking his hair as he lay next to him. "Mornin'." He grinned. "Mornin'" Ichigo smiled back. Renji kissed the boy's forehead and he pulled Ichigo closer. "Sleep well?" Renji asked. Ichigo nodded and rest his cheek against Renji's chest. "Yeah. Had a dream too. Think you were in it." Renji's ears perked at this and his kissed the top of Ichigo's head tenderly. "Oh? What was it about?" Ichigo paused and Renji felt as the boy became flushed. "Hm? Ichigo, what are you getting so embarrassed about?" Renji asked, nudging Ichigo's arm. Ichigo didn't answer and instead nuzzled Renji's neck, burying his face there.

Renji heard his name be called softly and a soft hum that followed. It felt good against his neck but also made him wonder what had gotten Ichigo so... "excited". His name was called again, this time closer to his ears as Ichigo's lips ghosted over his skin. "Ichi... don't..."

"Come on Ren, just... at least a kiss..." Renji sighed and put a hand to Ichigo's cheek, lifting his face to look at him. They stared into each others eyes for a moment before desire and need over came them as they were drawn to each other. It started out lightly but heated as lust rose within them. Renji put his hands around Ichigo's waist and neck while the boy let his hands wander over the shinigami. When they pulled away, Renji attacked the boy's neck and Ichigo whimpered softly. "Renji..." Renji let out a deep groan as his hands traveled up the boy's back and across his chest. Ichigo ran his fingers through the shinigami's hair, releasing of it's binds and allowing a silky curtain of red the spill across his hands. "Renji..." He called again. Renji stopped the assault on the boy's neck long enough to speak. "What?" He muttered. "I need... a shower..."

Renji couldn't help the smirk that tugged at the corners of mouth and didn't fight it. He looked up at Ichigo and noticed a similar smirk on the boy's face. That was all the confirmation he needed.

Renji stood, dragging Ichigo up with him as they headed for the door. Renji opened it silently and peeked his head out, checking for Isshin or Ichigo's sisters. When the cost was clear, he made his way to the bathroom, Ichigo close behind.

When they reached the bathroom door, Renji opened it and quickly flung Ichigo inside. He stepped in after him and quickly locked the door before turning back to Ichigo and kiss the boy roughly. Renji tugged impatiently on Ichigo's pajama top and the boy pulled away quickly enough to bring it up over his head and toss it to the floor. As soon as it hit the floor, Renji's hands were on the boy's body again, sliding down and ridding him of his pants. Ichigo gave a low moan and smashed their lips together again before running his hands under the folds of Renji's shihakushō and sliding it off his body. Renji chuckled in Ichigo's ear before sucking on the sensitive lobe.

"Just a kiss, eh?" He smirked, running his hands down the boys back to grip his ass. Ichigo gave out a small moan and fumbled with the sash around Renji's waist. "What would you call this then?" Ichigo groaned and kissed Renji again before responding. "Just shut up," He huffed. "And strip already." Renji hummed in approval and licked Ichigo's neck. "Can't argue with that."

Renji relieved Ichigo of his boxers and felt as the boy slid the bottom of his shihakushō off only to have it pool around his ankles. Ichigo gave a startled and pleasured moan when he felt their arousals press firmly together. Renji kissed his lips to stifle it and slowly led Ichigo over to the tub. Renji carefully stepped over the rim before bringing Ichigo with him and pinning the boy against the wall. Ichigo gasped at the sudden cool sensation of tiles against his bare skin. He shivered but soon found relief in the warm water that sprayed down on him.

Renji turned him around so his body was under the water and kissed him again, rolling his hips against his and earning another moan. Ichigo gasped as Renji's hands slid over his slick body and cupped his ass again. Renji squeezed it and rolled his hips again, listening as Ichigo moaned his name at the double sensation. Renji did it again and again until Ichigo gripped his shoulders, digging his nails into the tattooed shoulders. "Renji..." Ichigo called. "Hm?" Renji faced Ichigo and kissed his lips before allowing the boy to speak. "Do... Do it already...!"

Renji let a faint smirk cross his lips before squeezing the boy's ass roughly and lightly rubbing two fingers across his entrance. Ichigo gasped. "No way." Renji smirked. "Last time I didn't prepare you and it stung like a bitch, didn't it?" Ichigo just grumbled and moved his hips impatiently. "Shut u- AH!"

Renji poked at the boy's entrance before slowly sliding in a finger and wiggling it around. Ichigo gasped and pressed harder against Renji at the sudden and odd sensation. He breathed heavily against Renji's shoulder, moaning his lover's name in his ear. Renji shivered at the warm breath on neck and the voice that ghost across his skin. Renji pushed another finger in slowly, enjoying the sounds that came from the boy. "Damn, Ichigo. Don't lose it right here." Renji flicked his tounge out and licked Ichigo's ear before taking the sensitive lobe between his teeth and nibbling on it. Ichigo gave another long moan and bucked hard against Renji. The shinigami moaned as their arousals pressed firmly together.

"Ichigo..." Renji's voice was low and seductive, driving Ichigo mad with pleasure and desire. Renji began to move his fingers again, scissoring and stretching the boy as he pumped them in and out. Ichigo gasped and moaned. It was the only thing he could do. He removed his hands from the shinigami's shoulders and trailed them down the tattooed back to rest on the shinigami's ass. He thrust into him, pushing him closer from behind with each move. Renji moaned and momentarily forgot to move his fingers until a fevered cry from Ichigo caught his attention. Renji thought the boy had finally reached his peak but when he felt his fingers brushing across Ichigo's prostate he understood what triggered the intense reaction. The next thing he knew, Ichigo was shouting his name, running his hands through the long damp hair as he tugged at it.

Renji pulled his fingers out with a reluctant groan from Ichigo. He kissed the boy's lips before wrapping his ams around his waist and forcing him against the wall. "Oh, don't worry. You're getting something much better." Ichigo smirked at the still fresh memory from a couple days prior. He didn't need to be told, he knew what was coming. "Hell yeah..." Ichigo lifted a leg and wrapped it around Renji's waist before feeling the shinigami lift him into place. Ichigo winced as Renji's hardened member pressed against his entrance. Renji smirked at the boy and wrapped his free hand around Ichigo's neglected member. "You ready for this?"

Ichigo nodded and soon after gasped as Renji slowly lowered him down around him. "Renji..." He moaned. Ichigo gripped Renji's shoulders momentarily before wrapping an arm around the shinigami's waist and neck. Renji leaned his forehead against the boy's shoulder, catching his breath. After a few moments, he lifted his head and leaned his forehead against Ichigo's. Their eyes met as their scattered breaths mingled.

"Ren..."

"Ichi..."

Renji leaned forward and kissed Ichigo deeply and tenderly. It lasted several moments before their unmet needs burned within them and forced Renji to start moving. It started out slow like the first time but grew more heated with each thrust, each moan. Ichigo forced himself down with every upward thrust, meeting Renji halfway and searching for that one spot that would send those blinding waves of pleasure through him.

"Deeper... Harder... More, Renji, I need more..." Renji groaned with each movement, following Ichigo's orders, bucking his hips sharply. Ichigo gasped and pressed their bodies further together, feeling as Renji's hand began to move over his erection. "Yes... Renji..." Renji hummed at the pleasurable sounds that came tumbling from the boy's lips. The next thing he knew, those small whimpers and moans became fevered cried of pure blinding pleasure as Renji struck the substitute shinigami's prostate harder with each thrust. Renji moved his hand faster, rougher along the length of the boy's erection and felt him straining for release.

"Not yet..." Renji huffed, now running short of breath. "I wanna come with ya... just hold on..." Ichigo whimpered and slammed down as hard as he could against his lover's body. "I can't... Renji, I need..." Ichigo tried desperately to hold out. He wanted to feel the intensity of his lover coming inside of him as he blew his load. He wanted to be full be relieved of his throbbing member. "It's okay... I'm here with ya... lets go..." Renji grumbled into his ear. Ichigo gave out a deep and long moan, forcing himself with all of his strength down onto Renji, feeling as the pressure boiled over inside him. "Ren... Ren..." He huffed. The hand on his member jerked quickly and roughly and in a matter of moments, he was coming. "R-RENJI!"

Renji felt as Ichigo exploded across their stomachs with such intensity it was painstaking. His eyes rolled back as he thrust harder and soon was coming violently inside of Ichigo, relinquishing his hold on the boy's length to grip his shoulders as he road out his orgasm. "Ichigo..." Ichigo sighed as he felt Renji slowly slide out of him. When his feet came back down to the ground, his legs grew slack and threatened to give out. Renji wrapped his arms around Ichigo and leaned into him to keep both of them upright. He rinsed a hand off before reaching up and stroking the boy's soaking wet hair. "Damn, Ichi. You were holding out on me last time." He smiled. "I could say the same for you Ren." Ichigo slowly peeled his body away, feeling the strength return to his legs.

"You okay? You look a little shaky." Renji clasped Ichigo's shoulders and made sure he was stable before allowing the boy to remove them. "I'm fine. Just... winded, I guess you could say." Renji smiled and kissed the boy's forehead tenderly before they properly washed their bodies and stepping out of the shower. They dried and dressed, moving quickly in hopes of getting out before anyone could see.

Renji adjusted his shihakushō before carefully opening the door, relieved at the sudden burst of cool air that rushed over him. He stepped out quietly before motioning to Ichigo to follow. "It looks like no one's awake. It's a good thing we decided to do this so early in the morning..."

"Oh? And what would 'this' be, Abarai-kun?"

Renji's head jerked around until his eyes met the owner of the sudden comment. Renji gulped and would have put his palm to his face if it wasn't for Isshin's intense gaze holding his in place. "K-Kurosaki-san... We uh... didn't know you were up." Renji smiled nervously. "D-Dad, I--"

"What did I tell you two?" Isshin asked as he took a step towards them. His tone was smooth and intimidating as he walked towards them, each step ringing in the frightened lovers ears. Renji swallowed the growing lump in his throat and fumbled with the words a few moment before finding his voice. "No... Sex?"

"That's right! Very good Abarai-kun!" Isshin's sudden outburst startled Renji and made the shinigami jump a little. He felt Ichigo cringe behind him and cling to his arm, using Renji to shield himself from his father's intense gaze. "Now..." Isshin continued, clasping Renji on the shoulder. "What did you do?" Isshin leaned menacingly towards Renji as his features darkened and he wore a crooked smile. This time Ichigo pipped up, the boy's small frightened voice barely cutting through the thick atmosphere. "H-Had... Sex?"

"Right again!! You boy's sure are smart, aren't you?"

They said nothing and instead watched as Isshin removed his hand from Renji's shoulder. "Then again," He sighed, the crooked smile leaving his lips momentarily before returning. "If you boys were _really_ smart you wouldn't have had sex, would you?" Ichigo collected himself and stood out from behind Renji to face his father, fear burning deep within him. "Dad, I'm--"

"To your room, Ichigo!" Isshin ordered, pointing towards the boy's bedroom door. "I want you to sit there and think about how horribly you've disobeyed your father's strict rules! And then when you've wallowed in regret and self pity for a long while you will come and apologize for allowing yourself to be seduced so easily!" Renji and Ichigo looked at each other for a moment before turning back to Isshin in all his seriousness.

"D-Dad!" Ichigo shreaked. "What the hell! I'm not five years old anymore!"

"Don't try to fight it son! Just do as your told and go to your room!" Isshin turned to Renji and his eyes narrowed. "Abarai-kun!" Renji jumped at the call of his name and snapped to attention. "Y-Yes, Kurosaki-san?"

"You, Abarai-kun, will go to my room and be under the same command as Ichigo! Nether of you are allowed to come out until Yuzu comes up and gets Ichigo for breakfast!" Renji let these words play over in his head before realizing he wasn't added in that last part. "Um... Kurosaki-san... what about--"

"You, Abarai-kun, are not in a gigai and thus my sweet daughter would not be able to see you. You will return to Urahara Shoten and pick one up before dropping in on us upon a... _surprise_ visit." Renji didn't even get the chance to nod feebly before Ichigo was ordered to his room again and him to Isshin's. Ichigo grumbled and quickly kissed Renji before stomping to his room and restraining himself from slamming the door. Ichigo stared dumbly after him before sighing and turning to Isshin's room at the end of the hall.

-/-/-/-

Ichigo didn't know if it was hours or days until his sister had finally got him. Whatever it was, it felt like forever. Without realizing it, he had gone throughout his normal routine of getting ready for school.

_School... _Ichigo thought to himself. _Should I go? I don't... I don't know if I should. What if everyones joined up with Orihime and they wanna get back at me or whatever. But why did she do that? Why did Orihime do that in the first place? _

Ichigo sighed and rest his head in his hands. He thought back to what Orihime said, what Chizuru said. He remembered asking her why... and then...

"_You hurt Hime-Chan. I can't just let you go for that."_

Ichigo sighed. Now he was even more confused than before. Why would being with Renji hurt Orihime? Was she really such a homophobe or did she...

_Did she like me?_

Ichigo stood up and began to pace. If Orihime did indeed like him in that way, his being with Renji could cause her to act this way. After all, Chizuru did say that he hurt Orihime. But how was he to know? Ow could Orihime be so selfish, so self centered?! Ow was he to know that she liked him?! How was he to know loving someone else would result in this?!

Ichigo resisted the urge to punch the wall and tried to collect himself._ That's not fair, not right. It's my choice, my decision. She didn't have to go and... "tell" the whole school I'd slept with another man._ Ichigo sighed and rest his head against the wall. _Maybe going to school isn't such a good idea, but I can't keep running forever. I can't be scared. Besides, summer is almost here anyway. I just have to hold out until then._

Ichigo's thoughts were abruptly stopped when a hard knock on the door stole his attention. He sighed again and walked over to the door to let his sister in. "Yeah, Yuzu, I know. I'm up already-"

"Geez do you always talk to your sister that way? No wonder they worry about you! Show a little more enthusiasm!"

Ichigo stopped and felt as a wave of panic overcame him. His eyes met with the now evilly gleaming eyes of Chizuru but quickly looked to the ground, still wide in terror. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?" He growled. "How did you get in my house?" Chizuru scoffed and a smug look replaced her current neutral one. "Your family let me in! How else?"

Ichigo's eyes narrowed and he clenched his fists.

"You told them all about Hime-Chan but forgot about me, didn't you? _Kurosaki-kun_?" Ichigo cringed at the mocking tone in the girl's voice and lifted his head to face her. "That's so mean, _Kurosaki-kun_! After all, we are friends! Right, _Kurosaki-kun_?" Ichigo growled and his knuckles began to turn white. "Shut up" He growled.

Chizuru ignored him and looked past Ichigo's shoulder. "So where is he?" She asked nonchalantly. "Wheres this boyfriend of yours I keep hearing so much about? Oh! Wait! I know!" Chizuru smirked and took a step towards Ichigo, making the boy flinch. "Everyone found out about you two and he didn't want that so he left your sorry ass! Ha! I knew this was gonna be easy but not _that_ easy!"

Ichigo growled again and felt as rage bested him. "Shut up! He didn't and he would never! So just shut up when you don't know anything!" Chizuru wasn't fazed by Ichigo's out burst and slowly raised a hand to poke Ichigo with. "Oh? Then where is he?"

"He's right here."

Chizuru's hand was snatched before her finger even reached Ichigo's chest. Her head spun around and Ichigo's jerked upwards to meet the fearsome glare of his lover's red eyes. Chizuru's eyes widened in shock for a moment before narrowing. "So your Abarai Renji?" She growled. Renji didn't say anything and just glared down at her. Chizuru snatched her hand back before scoffing and watching as Renji's hand fell to his side.

"Ichigo." He called. Ichigo's gaze drifted from Chizuru and then to Renji before settling on the shinigami. "Y-yes?" He studered. "She didn't hurt you, did she?" Ichigo shook his head and watched as Chizuru scoffed again. "It's too bad." She said to Renji as she walked past him. "You could do so much better than a stupid kid like him." She sighed. "Oh well. You two better enjoy your time together now because soon, you wont be seeing each other."

Ichigo nor Renji said nothing as they watched the girl walk down the stairs and out of view. Ichigo let out a long withheld breath and Renji turned to him, quickly coming to his side. "Ichigo?"

Ichigo looked up at Renji. His face was now soft and a faint smile adorned his lips. His hair was still down and damp but felt nice as it brushed across Ichigo's face. Renji placed a hand on Ichigo's back and the other grabbed Ichigo's hand. Ichigo couldn't help but smile at how caring Renji was being. He leaned against his and sighed. "I'm okay, Ren. Just a little surprised is all."

He felt as Renji nodded and wrapped the arm on his back around his shoulders. "Ichigo..." He called again. Ichigo closed his eyes and let out a low hum as he rest his head on Renji's chest. Renji sighed and kissed his head before pushing his away. "Sorry, but I have to go. Your dad would throw a fit if he saw me in your room."

Ichigo sighed and nodded. "Okay. Will you be here when I get back?" He asked, looking up into Renji's still caring eyes. "Yes. And this time I'll wait at your school in case you need me immediately." Ichigo's eyes widened a little and a blush began to creep across his face. "You don't... have to do that..."

"But I want to." Renji smiled and kissed Ichigo's forehead before walking to the nightstand and picking up his discarded hair tie. "I'll go pick up my gigai and then wait outside your school. Don't worry, No one but Orihime and that other girl will know who I am. Well, them and your other friends who know me of course."

Ichigo nodded sadly and bowed his head. "Renji... I don't want to go..." He clenched his fists and sighed, feeling fear rise within him. "I don't know what to do... I don't want to go but I don't want to be scared ether..."

Ichigo felt as a pair of strong arms wrapped around his frail shoulders and pulled him into a strong chest. His own arms wrapped around that chest and he buried his face in it. He breathed in deeply his lover's sent and nudged his chest, calmed by the warmth that surrounded him. "Ichigo..." Ichigo smiled at the warmness in that voice that called to him so softly. He didn't speak but nodded, not wanting to interrupt his lover's steady heart beat in his ears. "Ichigo... I'll be there if you need me. Theres no need to be afraid. Just trust me. I wont let you suffer alone again."

Ichigo felt as tears formed in his tired eyes and he didn't try to fight them. A sense of warmth and relief overwhelmed him and he held tighter to his lover and let a tear roll down his cheek.

"Thank you... Renji..."

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** WAH!! NEW CHAPTER! I know I'm leaving on the fourth of next month but I thought, "You know what? I have 'bout a week until I gotta go so I'm gonna be nice and give these people another chapter! And SMUT!!". Okay I didn't add the smut part until I started actually writing the chapter... I hope it wasn't rushed or worse than last time! I tried to make it better and more... how do you say... Kinky? Well, I know I'm not the best Smut writer in the world but Oh Well!

On another note, I'm on Deviant Art! I have a couple Unrequited Love pictures up but they suck and my other stuff is much better! There's a link on my page but if that doesn't work, my name is XxTaraxKitaidexX. I might put my writings up there but I don't know yet...

**DEDICATED TO ZAXEL!!** - Your such a cool person and are totally nice to me all the time! You even helped my with my DA and I LOVE YOUR STORIES! THANK YOU! And, I told you there was gonna be smut, didn't I? Hee hee...


	13. The scandle

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

Ichigo felt his heart beat faster as he walked down the hall to his classroom. He wasn't late and he wasn't tardy ether. He was, though, the last to arrive before the teacher. He stopped before the classroom door and let in and out a deep shaky breath. He lifted a shaky hand to the nob and stopped when Chizuru's voice floated through the other side of the door. He couldn't hear what she had said but he did catch the question from several of the girls and Chizuru's response.

"You mean you saw him?" A few girls gasped.

"Yeah!" Chizuru snickered. "And get this; he was wearing a kimono!" There were more gasps as well as a few cruel laughs and more comments. "No way! Are you serious?!"

Chizuru must have been laughing to because it took her a moment to respond. "Yeah! And better yet, he's gonna be here today! I heard him tell Ichigo he would wait for him outside all day today! It sucks that we found on on such sort notice but--"

Ichigo didn't hear anymore than that.

He swallowed the lump in his throat before opening the door, it slamming slightly against the wall. All movement in the room stopped as all eyes focused on Ichigo. Ichigo let his gaze drift across the classroom, surveying his surroundings.

Chizuru was sitting on her desk next to the window. Almost all the girls in the class were sitting or huddled around her. Orihime was included in this group but she sat with her hands folded on top of her desk and just listened to what Chizuru had to say. She was the only one in the room that didn't look up at Ichigo. Uryū, Rukia, and Chad all sat in their desks. Uryū was apparently reading a book while Rukia listened furiously to Chizuru and Chad was as calm as ever. Everyone else stared with wide eyes at Ichigo and followed his every movement as he calmly made his way to his desk by the window near the back of the room.

Ichigo sat down in his chair and rest his hands on his desk. He looked down at them and gulped again, feeling everyone's gaze fixed on him. Ichigo's eyes narrowed as he released a shaky breath.

_I wont run away. I won't be afraid. I will be strong._

There were a few muttered whispers that caught Ichigo's attention but he didn't look up. Only when Chizuru spoke did he slightly jump.

"As I was saying," she paused for a moment as she coughed to clear her throat. "We had to think quickly but me and Hime-chan came up with a little something!" Most of the girls looked back to Chizuru, their eyes still wide, their mouths still hung open. A few continued to look at Ichigo but eventually they all went back to what they were doing before.

"Really, Chizuru?! What is it?!" A girl cheered. Chizuru scoffed. "Well I can't tell you that but you'll see! Believe me, it's good!"

It was then that the teacher came in and everyone fell silent again. "Alright, enough with the chit-chat kids! Get back to your desks so we can get started." The teacher ordered as she walked quickly to her desk, a brown folder in hand. "Today we--" She looked out to the class and immediately stopped when her eyes locked with chocolate brown. Her mouth hung open slightly but only for a moment before her wide eyes softened and she let a small smile adorn her lips. For the first time in a long time, it was the only true smile Ichigo had gotten from someone other than his father or Renji. Ichigo wanted to smile back but settled for a simple nod, one he hoped the others wouldn't notice. The teacher looked back to the entire class and opened her folder as she began taking role.

Ichigo didn't notice when the teacher called his name and he didn't notice how fast homeroom had gone by. Before he knew it, it was second period and when his third period rolled around, he felt it was too soon. Renji had shown up though, just as he promised. He had noticed him by the gates after his first period, just standing there with his arms crossed, his face expressionless.

_Idiot._ Ichigo thought. _He could at least sit or go in the shade._

The bell rang, signaling the end of his third period and the start of lunch. Ichigo sighed and closed his book. "Alright, everyone! Have a fun lunch break! And no going off campus!" The teacher smiled as she dismissed the group.

Student after student got up from their seat, walking over to friends and almost instantly starting up a conversation. The chatter soon died out though as the students filed out, one after another.

Ichigo knew he wasn't alone in the room. He could feel the reiatsu radiating off of the person standing in front of him. He just didn't want to face them, he didn't want to risk being rejected again so Ichigo kept his head down, staring at his hands. He rubbed them uneasily, his eyes shifting up for a moment to sneek a glance at his friend.

"Ichigo..."

"What is it?" Ichigo muttered.

A strong hand touched Ichigo's chin and gently lifted it, making the boy face his friend. "Ichigo... It's me. Do you really think I'd abandon you?" Chad asked, one of his eyes uncovered by his long dark hair. Ichigo looked into his friend's soft eyes, his own trembling, and felt the hand leave his chin. "We did promise to fight for each other. This is just another battle we have to win. Don't worry, Ishida feels the same way, he just wont say it." Chad smiled softly.

It took a moment, but Ichigo smiled back. His eyes softened and narrowed as he looked up at his friend and stood. "Yeah. Just another battle." He echoed. Chad gave one of his signature thumbs-up and Ichigo did all he could not to laugh.

Ichigo looked out the window once more and noticed Renji staring up at him from the window. Their expressions were both blank for a moment. Renji's soft eyes locked with Ichigo's and the boy could feel every bit of the intensity they held, even at a distance. He smiled and Renji smiled back before turning away to step through the gates.

Ichigo sighed and turned back to Chad only to find he wasn't there. He looked around the room and even behind him but it seemed Chad had left when he was distracted. Ichigo sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That's just like him."

-/-/-/-

Orihime watched from the second story window as Renji walked through the school's gates. She took a sip of her juice before biting into her bread and turning back to watch the shinigami. The group of girls siting with Orihime and Chizuru stopped their conversations and turned to see what their ring leader was staring at.

"So, Hime-chan! Is that him?" One of the smaller girls in the group asked. Orihime didn't respond so Chizuru replied for her. "Yep! That's him!" Some of the girl's cooed and moved closer to Orihime for a better look. "He's so cool!"

"So hot!" "

So awsome!"

"What's he doing with a kid like Ichigo?"

"I can see why Hime-Chan could be jealous."

That last remarked earned a slap from Orihime across the girl's face and no one said another word about it.

"Chizuru." Orihime called lifelessly. "Yes, my Hime-chan?" Chizuru cooed. Orihime turned her lifeless eyes to meet Chizuru's shining ones. "He's coming." Orihime let a faint smirk cross her lips, matching the growing one on Chizuru's face. "You want me to set everything in action?" Orihime shook her head. "No. Give them just a little more time. It'll make everything that much sweeter."

Chizuru gave out a light laugh and nodded. "Ah, I love the way you think Hime-Chan!"

-/-/-/-

Ichigo hadn't bought his lunch. He didn't want to venture out in the middle of all those students, all those teachers, all those people who could have it out for him. He hadn't had time to make a lunch ether so he decided to just go hungry.

He sat in his desk, his arms crossed, his legs draped over the desk as he lazily kicked the chair in front of him. His stomach growled for the fifth time within the minute and again he punched it. "Shut up, already! I know your hungry! Just wait till we get home and I'll feed you all you want!"

"You know punching and talking to your stomach wont make it stop growling. I don't think it's healthy ether, mentally or physically."

Ichigo looked towards the door as the owner of the comment walked in. He stopped kicking the chair and brought his legs to the ground as he stood to face his lover. "Hey." He said, giving a wave of his hand. Renji smiled and brought a hand from behind his back to hold up two bright lunch boxes. "From Ururu." He said, handing Ichigo one of the boxes. "I asked her to make it for you sense I didn't see you leave with a lunch this morning."

Ichigo gave a small "ah" and took a seat on the floor, his back against the wall. Renji sighed and sat beside him, draping an arm around his shoulders. Ichigo smiled and opened the box as Renji did the same and broke apart his chopsticks. Ichigo leaned into Renji's shoulder and it was only then that he realized Renji was holding his as he ate. "Hey, you're gonna eat too, right? How can you eat if your holding me?"

Renji chuckled and positioned his chopsticks between his fingers. "I'm ambidextrous. Besides, it's not hard to eat with one hand and I like holdin' ya." Ichigo felt a faint blush spread across his face which he quickly hid by stuffing his face. Renji chuckled and took a bite of his food.

Several moments later, they were setting their empty boxes beside them and letting out a long satisfied sigh. "That was so good." Ichigo muttered. Renji hummed agreeably and nuzzled Ichigo's soft orange hair. "You ate everything, you little piglet." Ichigo scoffed and punched Renji's chest lightly. "Shut up! I was hungry! Besides, you ate it all too!" Renji gave a small laugh and pulled Ichigo closer. "Yeah, yeah."

Ichigo sighed and rest his head against Renji's chest as the man stroked his hair lightly. Ichigo closed his and felt as his breathing slowed. He wrapped an arm around Renji's waist and scooted closer. Renji smiled and kissed his head. "Ren." Ichigo called, his voice slow and soft as he relaxed against his lover. "What is it Ichi?"

Ichigo nuzzled the crook of Renji's neck and opened his eyes to look up at him, their eyes locking. "I don't want you to leave." Renji sighed and closed his eyes. "I know, Ichi, but I can't stay here all day and you can't skip out on school." He opened his eyes and looked down at Ichigo, their eyes locking again. Ichigo looked up at him, his brows furrowed, his mouth turned into a pouting frown. Renji chuckled and put hand to the boy's face. "Come on, what's with that face?"

Ichigo scoffed and tore his eyes from Renji's. "What face? I always look like this." Renji hummed and took the hand that was on Ichigo's cheek to lift the boy's face to his and look back into his chocolate brown eyes. "Your so cute, you know that?" Renji watched as a wild blush spread across the boy's face. "You don't mean that." Ichigo said, his breath running short as their faces drew closer. "Yes, I do." Renji's voice was low and husky, heavy with desire that drove Ichigo mad. The shinigami substitute closed his eyes and felt as his lover rubbed their lips together teasingly. Ichigo wormed his arms around Renji's neck and waist as on of Renji's pressed their flushed body's together, the other one holding Ichigo's face. "I love you, Renji." Renji chuckled and kissed the boys lips lightly before teasing him again. "I'm lovable."

Ichigo groaned and smashed their lips together, poking his tounge at Renji's lips and demanding access. Renji gave a low hum and opened his mouth, allowing the boy's tounge to slip eagerly inside and meet him. Ichigo moaned when their tounges intertwined, sliding and sucking eagerly at each other. Teeth clattered and hands began to move when there was a loud but brief buzz like that of a television. Ichigo couldn't help but keep at it for a few more moments before forcing himself back and looking for the source of the sound.

"What was that?" He whispered against Renji's lips. "I don't know," Renji whispered back. "And I don't care." Renji dove back down and reclaimed the boy's lips before lightly being shoved back. "I'm serious Ren! What was that?" Renji growled before scanning the room with his eyes. He stopped when his eyes crossed the television and felt as his mouth hung open.

Ichigo stopped when he noticed Renji's surprised, gaping stare and looked up at him. "Ren? Ren, what's wrong?" Ichigo let his eyes search the room again for what his lover was looking at. "What are you--"

Ichigo felt his heart stop and his eyes grew wide as they fixed on the television image. His mouth slowly began to hang open as he realized what he was staring at was them.

They were looking at a mirror image of themselves as they were now, still siting on the classroom floor, their backs against the wall, their arms still tightly wrapped around each other. Ichigo held tighter as fear began to overwhelm him. The only difference between them and the image was that their heads were turned on the screen, meaning the image was being broadcast from in front of them.

Ichigo jerked his head around at the sudden realization and scanned the room. There was no camera, no hole in the wall, no wires feeding out, and defedantly no one there. Ichigo gulped and looked back up a Renji, his eyes still wide. Renji tore his eyes away from the screen to look boy at the fear stricken boy with eyes equally wide. He mouthed Ichigo's name before his attention was once again turned back to the television with another loud buzz.

What they saw next nearly blew their minds with fear.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** Ha ha! Cliffy! Well, if you haven't guessed, I decided not to go to my dad's house. I just can't be away from you all for that long! I can't wait to get your feed back on this chappy and hear your guesses! I had a hard time thinking up what Orihime and Chizuru's next plan was gonna be but I think I got something good. :3 Too bad for you! You have to wait! BWAHAHA!!

Does anyone like Mar? It's pronounced M-air with an accent above the "a" and is about this kid named Ginta who travels to this other world and has to defend it. I LOVE IT!! I think Nanashi is my favorite but I love Alan too! IT'S SO HARD TO CHOOSE! Well, I've been going through a bit of a Mar phase. My lil bro got volumes 1-13 so I've been reading sense volume 4 all day. Just two more to go!

I've also been drawing a couple comics with me and Zaxel in em'. One is an unrequited shonen-ai cross dementional one with RenjixIchigo and ZoroxSanji. The other one is me and Zaxel trying to hook Ichi and Ren up. XD the later is funny and the cross demintion one is kind of more angst and sort of depressing. Me and Zaxel are also writing a story together but I have yet to force my lazy ass to finish the first chappy. T.T Sorry Zaxel.

**CAN'T WAIT FOR YOUR FEEDBACK! PRESS THE PURPLE BUTTON! NOW!!!!**


	14. She said what?

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

**Dedication: **To Rachel S. If it wasn't for her constant annoyance I probably never would have picked this up again. Thanks Sakura-chan.

-/-/-/-

What they saw next nearly blew their minds with fear.

Like the image before, it was them but this time Ichigo was pinned against a tile wall with Renji in front of him. They were bare chested but you couldn't tell if their bottom halves were covered because the camera cut off from their stomachs on. They were drenched, soaked. It didn't look like they were in the rain but a spray of water poured down on them and when Ichigo registered that outrageous shower curtain his father loved, everything came crashing down around them.

They were watching the activitys from earlier that morning, when Ichigo and Renji had taken a shower. Someone had recorded them. Someone had _watched_ them.

Ichigo looked frantically from the screen to Renji and then in front of them. There was still no one there, there were still no cords and there was still no camera! Ichigo felt a wave of panic rush over him. He jumped to his feet and rushed the television, pressing the power button frantically. He pressed it once and nothing happened. He pressed it harder but the television still wouldn't turn off!

Frustrated and confused, Ichigo pounded the screen with his fist. It wasn't enough, his hand bounced off the screen every time. He cried out in anger and felt as the screen cracked beneath his fist. He cried out again and brought his fist back for another punch when it was caught.

Ichigo spun around and looked at his lover who held his fist tightly in his hand. Renji looked into Ichigo's widened and frustrated eyes, his own narrow and calm. Ichigo snatched his fist back and looked away from Renji. "I'm sorry, Renji. I got you caught up in this mess."

Ichigo felt his shoulders shake in sorrow and frustration. They were soon covered by Renji's arms and he felt as he was drawn closer to the redhead. Ichigo rest his head on Renji's chest, his eyes swelling up with tears. He shamefully tried to wipe them away but Renji was there before his hand reached his cheek.

"It's okay Ichigo. Don't worry about me. _Your_ the one suffering." Renji whispered against the top of the boy's head. Ichigo let Renji wipe away his tears even though he just made more.

"I'm sorry..."

-/-/-/-

Chizuru watched the pair on the monitor in her hand, an evil smirk spread across her face. She tapped the joystick to the left and the image began to move to the right. She tapped it again and the image went out of focus before another tap set it in place.

"Wow, Hime-Chan! These camera's are something else!" Chizuru chirped. "They must have cost a fortune! Where did you get them again?"

Orihime did not look over at her partner but instead continued to focus on the screen from where she squatted next to Chizuru. It took a moment for Orihime to answer; Ichigo was now crying and cursing against Renji. Something akin to anger or maybe jealousy flashed across Orihime's face before she calmed herself and finally answered. "Tatsuke's family bought them for me."

Chizuru sighed, a hint of irritation in her voice. She looked back to the screen and watched the two for a moment longer as she shifted through her thoughts.

Orihime's normally happy, shining face was blank. Her eyes held no emotion, not even anger or a twinge of sorrow sense the tiny bit that broke through the cold walls of her heart. It was extremely strange, especially to those who had known her for as long as someone like Chizuru did. It was also painful.

Chizuru felt a twinge of pain in her heart every time she looked into Orihime's lifeless eyes. It was painful for Chizuru who watched someone she loved become completely hallow inside.

And then there was Ichigo.

This was all Ichigo's fault. Knowing that, Chizuru couldn't just stand by and watch this happen. She couldn't let Orihime suffer because of _him_. She had watched the girl suffer too long because of that boy, she wouldn't let it happen again.

"You spoke to Rukia."

Chizuru snapped out of her thoughts at the sudden question (well, it was more of an affirmative statement) from her partner. She composed herself, snapping back to reality and returning to her normally happy face nodding and smiling, giving an audible "yes".

Orihime nodded in turn and lifted her head to face Chizuru for the first time sense they had arrived outside the classroom. "Good." She said. "Now play the last role of footage. Ichigo has to hear it or it's useless to us."

Chizuru nodded and smiled as she brought a switch board from behind her. "Shouldn't we wait for Rukia, though?" Chizuru asked, her thumb on the switch.

"She's already coming." Orihime looked down the hall and as if on some sort of unspoken que, foot steps could be heard coming towards them. Chizuru nodded again and this time her smile became a smirk.

"You're positively deviant, Hime-chan." Orihime said nothing and instead looked back to the screen, waiting for Ichigo's reaction to what was now displayed on the television in front of him.

-/-/-/-

Another buzz from the television made Renji and Ichigo turn back to it. This time, instead of Renji or Ichigo on the screen, it was _Rukia_. She was with Chizuru and... wait... she was with who?!

"Ichigo _has_ gotten weaker." Ichigo heard the screen say. He looked to see if it was Chizuru that spoke, I mean, it had to be, right? No.

Ichigo felt his stomach sink as he realized it was Rukia who had spoken. _Did Rukia just call me weak? I thought she was on my side! Why is she talking with Chizuru instead of beating the shit out of her?! And why..._

"I mean, he use to be all independent and didn't rely on anyone but now he can't even wipe his nose unless Renji's there with him! He's gotten so _pathetic_ now." The Rukia on the screen crossed her arms and began to pace. "When Renji left he went completely emo on us! I don't know what happened between them before then but he just shriveled up and died. Now he depends on Renji for everything. It's ridiculous."

"It sounds like you hate Ichigo, Rukia!" Chizuru chirped. "Say, didn't you like Renji yourself?"

"That's none of your business! And as for Ichigo... I guess... I do."

There was no more than that because the television screen went black and shutdown.

Ichigo's mouth hung open as his heart sunk into oblivion and his head began to pound. Rukia... hated him? But why?! Wasn't she on his side?! This made no sense!

"She said I've become... pathetic?"

Ichigo looked at Renji, the red head's face equally, if not, more shocked. Renji finally tore his eyes away from the black screen to look at Ichigo, their eyes locking for a moment. "Ichigo...?"

Ichigo opened and closed his mouth a few times, not quite sure what to say, what to do. He was just betrayed by one of his closest friends. He thought Rukia understood, that Rukia supported him but...

The sound of heavy foot fall coming towards the classroom could be heard and it made both Ichigo and Renji's heads snap around to look at the door. "The class...?" He said, his voice shaky.

Renji shook his head and was about to speak when they got their answer.

"ICHIGO!"

Rukia burst into the room, her hair slightly matted, sweat dripping down her pale skin. She breathed heavily and stared at Ichigo with wide eyes as Ichigo stared back. "You..." Ichigo muttered, his voice becoming deep and rough.

Rukia gulped and took a step inside the room but instantly flinched when Ichigo's hands balled into tight fists. "I-Ichigo." Rukia called again.

"You..." Ichigo's stare became a glare as he turned his body around to face the girl. "You tricked me!" He growled. "I thought you were my friend but you were in on it with Orihime the whole time, weren't you?!"

Rukia's mouth hung open slightly and she gulped again, working past the lump in her throat. "I-Ichigo I--"

"Forget it! I don't want to hear it!" Ichigo now shouted, his voice raising. "I bet you took that video tape, didn't you? The one from this morning?! You did, didn't you!"

"W-Wah? Ichigo, no! I wouldn't!--"

"Why?! Because it's too disgusting? I trusted you!"

"No! Ichigo! I didn't--"

"Shut up! I said Shut up!" Ichigo pushed past her and bolted out of the door, in seconds sprinting halfway down the hall. "I fucking hate you!" He yelled behind him.

Rukia watched him as he descended down the hall but didn't dare go after him. Her mouth still ajar, she turned to the only other person now left in the room with her. "Renji..." She muttered, looking over the redhead.

Renji stared at her in shock and disbelief. How could she do this? She was one of his friends! The best he had! He opened and closed his moth a few times, his mind jumbled and his heart in shreds.

"How could you?" he muttered so softly it was almost a whisper.

"Renji... I..." Rukia was interrupted yet again by the beeping Renji's cell phone. He took it out and examined the flickering dot on the screen that signified a hollow in the area.

"Hollow. We'll pick this up later."

Renji turned towards the window as he forced his soul out of his body and readied to leap.

"Renji, wait!" Rukia called, extending a hand towards him.

Renji looked back over his shoulder, a sad, lost look on his face. Rukia stopped and sighed. "R-Renji, I..."

Renji didn't wait for her to finish as he leaped out the window and went off to destroy the hollow in hopes of finding Ichigo as well.

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** SORRIES I'M SO LATE!! This was so short and poorly written, it's pathetic. Well, I got the general meaning behind it done and I guess that's all that matters. I'll go back and re-do this later. I've just been so busy with school and shit... it's so frustrating... That and I've got other crap to work on so I'm REEEEEALLY sorry this was late.

I think my spell check just died on me... let me check... dhjkhf Nope! It's still there! That gibberish is underlined in red! YES! WOAH! AND GIBBERISH WAS TOO! THERE IT IS AGAIN!

Okay, I really need more sleep...

Tata, Darlings! Don't forget to review and the usual!


	15. Please live for me

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

-/-/-/-

"ICHIGO!"

Renji burst into the house with a loud bang of the front making contact with the wall. He looked around the living room and there was no Ichigo, no Isshin, no family. Meaning Ichigo was home alone. Great.

After Renji had tracked and destroyed the hollow, he ran back to the school, slipped back in his Gigai, and ran to Ichigo's house like his ass was on fire. He was sure Ichigo had gone because there really was no where else he could have gone. And if he wasn't there then Renji had to assume the worse and that Ichigo...

Renji shook his head and shunned the thought. No, Ichigo wouldn't. He would never hurt himself. Not now. Not when they were _finally_ together.

Renji ran in, slamming the door behind him in his haste and bolting up the stairs. He knew Ichigo wouldn't hurt himself but there was something pulling at the back of his mind, urging him to hurry and making him believe (if only slightly) that there was a slight possibility Ichigo would do something to end up in the hospital again. And this time, it wouldn't be an accident.

In what felt like forever, Renji finally reached Ichigo's door and hesitantly put his hand on the handle. He stopped for a moment and wished with all his heart Ichigo would be fine just behind this door before opening it quickly but not hastily as he had to the front door.

"Ichigo!"

He stopped.

Ichigo was sitting on his bed, his knees pulled tightly to his chest, while his arms lay on the sheets to both sides of him. There was a blade in one hand, Renji noticed, but it didn't look like he had used it. There was no blood, no cuts, no sobs, just Ichigo. Ichigo sitting completely still, broken, mortified with his head resting on his knees so his face was hidden.

Renji couldn't help but feel a bit relieved. He thanked what ever higher power that was out there that the boy hadn't hurt himself and calmly walked over to Ichigo, sitting quietly next to the boy and putting a comforting hand on his back.

"Ichigo..." He called for the third time, his voice now calm and slow.

Ichigo didn't say a word or move. If Renji didn't know any better, he would think Ichigo was dead but he could feel the movements of the boy's breathing so knew it wasn't the case.

"Ichigo... Were you--?"

"I don't know what to do anymore, Renji."

Renji stopped and his eyes widened slightly. Ichigo shifted as if he was going to lift his head but he stopped and his head remained in it's down position. The boy sighed heavily and Renji felt him begin to tremble, obviously crying.

"I don't want to live but I don't want to die ether." Ichigo said dryly. "I'm sick of all this shit but I'm too much of a coward to take my own life and... and then there's you..."

Ichigo's head came up slightly before lifting completely and looking into Renji's crimson eyes, his own beginning to sting with tears. "I can't leave you, Ren... I love you so much... all I wanted was for us to be together, happy... I never wanted this shit to happen!" Ichigo's voice was cracking as a tear slid down his cheek and his chin quivered. "When I found out... that you loved me, it was the happiest I'd ever been. But then... you tried to warn me, tried to stay away but I... I was just too stubborn and now...!"

Ichigo let a sob escape him as Renji wound his arm around the boy's back and pulled him into him, holding his tightly in his arms. Ichigo's legs slowly slid out of their folded position and one of them hung off the edge of the bed. "I'm so sorry, Renji...! You tried to warn me but... I just wouldn't listen and now you're getting hurt because of me...!" Ichigo's face twisted in anger and sorrow as his grip on the blade tightened and he tossed it across the room, it hitting the wall and falling to the floor with a soft clang. "I never should have taken the chance and told you! We'd be better off, going our whole lives without knowing! That pain would be nothing compared to what this is! I can't take it any more, Renji! I just can't take it!"

Renji's grip on Ichigo tightened. Ichigo moved closer to him, wrapping his arms around Renji's waist and neck, letting the man hold him in a tight embrace. Renji sighed heavily, tears began to sting his own eyes as Ichigo's words rand through his head.

"_I don't want to live..." _

"_I never should have told you..." _

" _I just can't take it..."_

Renji felt all the pain, all the hurt and sorrow from the last few days in those words. He could feel Ichigo's regret, his confusion, his love, his inner turmoil. He could feel all the pent up frustration and want and need and it was enough to make him cry. He stroked Ichigo's back to sooth the boy as tears slid down his own face.

"Ichigo..." He called again, his voice barely coming through. "My Ichigo... My poor Ichigo..." Renji moved his free hand to run through Ichigo's hair and hushed him, whispering softly in his ear. "You're alright now, you're with me, you're safe. There's no need for tears now, you're stronger than this Ichigo, you can make it through this."

Renji continued to stroke the boy's hair and took a momentary pause to kiss his forehead before continuing. "Ichigo, I need you to promise me something."

Ichigo pulled away only enough to look up at his lover and wipe away a few of the tears before responding. "Y-Yes...?"

"I don't want you... to ever do this again." Renji said holding up Ichigo's formally injured wrist. The wound may have healed but the scars were fresh and noticeable.

Ichigo looked into Renji's eyes again, his own widening slightly. "What do you mean? I thought we already--"

"I'm not finished."

Renji released Ichigo's wrist and the boy fell silent, waiting for him to continue.

"I don't want to hear you say things like, "I want to die" or "I don't deserve to live". You know I would die with you if it would truly make you happy, but I don't want to. I don't want _you_ to die Ichigo. I want you to _live_ _happily_. I want you to _enjoy_ life. I can't stand to see you suffer like this." Renji put a hand on Ichigo's cheek and wiped away the remaining tears with his thumb. "Please tell me what to do... How can I make you happy?"

Ichigo's eyes were wide now. The lose grip he had on Renji's shirt tightened as his eyes slowly, slowly narrowed. The hand that still lay still on the sheets next to him slowly lifted to caress Renji's cheek and wipe away the shinigami's tears.

"Renji..." Ichigo called, a small smile creeping across his lips. "I... I am happy..."

Renji smiled and quickly embraced Ichigo again, holding him tightly in his arms and kissing him like no tomorrow. Ichigo kissed back with the same intensity, feeling Renji's tounge slip and slide over him own, letting out a breathy sigh.

When their lips parted, they didn't separate or relinquish their hold by even a faction. Ichigo tucked his head under Renji's chin and Renji held him protectively.

They stayed like this for several moments, forgetting all their problems, all their worries, everything that had happened in the past week. Ichigo breathed deeply and slowly, breathing in deeply Renji's sent and calming down immensely.

"You always know what to say..." Ichigo smiled.

"Ah, I just know what you like to hear."

Ichigo chuckled and closed his eyes, relaxing into Renji's chest.

"Well, isn't that cute?"

Ichigo's, as well as Renji's, head snapped up and looked around. At first, they saw no one or nothing out of the ordinary. They looked around again and again until Ichigo noticed the "person" in front of them and his eyes furrowed.

"What the hell do _you_ want, Kon?"

Kon scoffed and crossed his plushie arms, his almost non-existent eyebrows furrowing. "Geez, Ichigo I knew you were pathetic but not _this_ pathetic!"

Ichigo grumbled and reluctantly pulled from Renji's arms to pick up the offending plushie by the ear and torture it.

"OW OW OW!! THAT'S MY EAR DUMB ASS, LET GO! LET GO!" Kon hollered, trying to punch Ichigo's hand away.

"Oh, shut up! You deserve it!" Ichigo said, using his other hand to tug on the other ear and threaten to rip the plushie's head in half.

"STOP IT, DUMB ASS THAT HURTS!!!"

"Then get out of here and go read some porn mags or whatever you do!"

Ichigo dropped Kon from the height at which he held him and the plushie hit the ground with a soft thump.

"Now get out of here! You're an eyesore!" Ichigo said, kicking Kon out of the room. He quickly slammed and locked the door before turning back to Renji, a frown on his face.

Renji stared at him, eyes slightly wide. Ichigo stared back, a frown still on his lips as he sat back down next to Renji, never breaking their eye contact.

"What?" Ichigo finally asked, after Renji had gaped at him for a goos ten minutes.

"You..." Renji stammered. "Your..."

"What? I'm what?" Ichigo demanded, a slight blush now on his face. "Renji, what are – _mmph!_"

Before Ichigo could say anything else, Renji's lips were on the boy's, his tounge darting out between his lips and forcing it's way into Ichigo's mouth. Ichigo gasped, only giving Renji further access and hesitated a moment before kissing him back.

"R-Renji what was--?"

"You're acting like yourself." Renji said, holding Ichigo's face in his hands. "Ever sense I'd come, you've so down that I nearly forgot what the real you was like." Renji let a small smile grace his lips and he kissed Ichigo's lips lightly once more before embracing him like before and kissing the boy's head. "But you're back. You're acting like your self again... I... I've missed it..."

Ichigo's face slowly relaxed from his still shocked face and he smiled, leaning into Renji's embrace. "So about what Rukia said... you don't think...?"

"Just because someone thinks something of you, doesn't mean it's true. I don't think you're pathetic at all, Ichigo. You're just pained and confused. Most people don't hold out as long as you have, Ichigo. If anything, this is making you into a strong person."

Ichigo looked up at Renji, smiling slightly. "Most people don't have you..."

Renji smiled back and kissed Ichigo's forehead. "You'll make it through this." He said as Ichigo tucked his head under his chin again. "No mater what it takes, we'll get through this."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

Ichigo sighed and wormed his arms back around Renji, nuzzling the older man's chest and closing his eyes. _This is so nice... I can't believe it's real..._ Ichigo thought to himself. _I don't deserve all of this... I don't deserve to be loved like this after dragging him so far into this and yet... _Ichigo felt Renji kiss his head once again and this time his heart beat faster. _I feel... wanted..._

Ichigo felt as Renji's arms left him and he was gently pushed back onto the bed. His eyes snapped open and he tried to get up but Renji's hand held him in place and wouldn't allow him to move.

"You lay down and get some rest. I'll go make you something to eat. You're hungry, right?"

Ichigo put a hand to him stomach and for the first time noticed the hunger pains. He wined as his stomach growled loudly and frowned. "I'm not _that_ hungry. Stay. Lay down with me." Ichigo said, grabbing Renji arm as he tried to stand.

"As tempting as that sounds," Renji chuckled "We both need food and we can't just stat in bed all day."

Ichigo grumbled and released Renji's hand, turning over on his side and muttering a small "whatever". Renji chuckled again and leaned over, kissing Ichigo's cheek softly before walking downstairs.

**A/N:** GAH! ZE FLUFFYNESS!! IT BURNS US!!! Hides under Foamy blanket

But seriously... there's so much fluff in this chapter, I can't believe I wrote it. It's not even that good ether! I guess I'm still stuck in dark emo mode from writing Forsaken and Deception. Hey, haven't you noticed almost all my story titles are completely dark and depressing words? Man, I need some rainbows! But... I have Zaxel so that's a sutible substitute. XD

I'm so sorry this took so long! I'm such a procrastinator and with a lot of other stories I'm workin' on... and then theirs high school... Speaking of which, I gotta be getting' to bed! I'm losing valuable sleepage over this SO YOU DAMN WELL BETER LIKE IT!

No more till next time! Toodles!


	16. The ending to a bad romance novel PART 1

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

-/-/-/-

Ichigo didn't go to school the next day or the next.

Ishida and Chad brought his homework and classwork to him every day so he wouldn't miss a class and turned in Ichigo's assignments for him as well. Of course Ichigo didn't mind. He got to stay home, away from all his troubles and spend every day with Renji. It was like a dream...

At first when Isshin heard of their plan to keep Ichigo from school, he wasn't all for it. He didn't like the idea of his son running away from his problems but as he promised his beloved wife (or her poster anyway), he would allow his children to live out their lives as they see fit.

There was of course the mater of breaking the news to Karin and Yuzu; Both of their brother's new sexuality and the torture he's been undergoing. At first they were shocked, even Karin who normally stayed well out of her brother's life but after a few days and a long talk from their father, they began joking and teasing Ichigo about it, obviously content with their brother's choice. But the news about Orihime got to Yuzu the most. Orihime had always been somewhat of an idle to the young girl and to find out she was the cause of such hardships saddened her. She made a note to try and talk to her soon.

It was the fourth day sense Ichigo had gone to school.

Ichigo's sisters had gone off to school and his father was away on business. When Renji had heard this, he flashed Ichigo a wicked grin which was returned until Isshin gave them the specific order of no sex followed by a thirty minute discussion on sex safety. Isshin's order was not to be abide by.

Once Ichigo's father was out the door and they were sure it was safe, Ichigo leapt for Renji, resulting in the position they were now in on the couch.

Ichigo sighed as Renji's lips met his already bear chest. They had waisted no time in removing the clothing barrier between them, Ichigo's shirt already halfway across the room as Renji (who was currently unbuttoning Ichigo's pants) had his button up shirt hanging loosely off his shoulders.

Ichigo reached out and tugged on the band in Renji's hair until the red locks fell across his chest and neck, the smooth and silky sensation an aphrodisiac for them both. He buried his hands in the curtain of red and tugged slightly, a soft hiss escaping Renji's lips.

"Damn, Ichigo..." He sighed. "I love it when ya pull my hair like that..."

Ichigo opened his mouth to speak but could only moan as Renji slid his pants off and attacked his member, a delicious wet heat engulfing his aching need. "Renji...!"

Renji hummed and bobbed his head a few times before pulling away and licking the head of Ichigo's cock. He soon replaced his tounge with his hand though, rolling the tip of Ichigo's arousal in his palm as he removed his own pants and tossed them away.

"You think we should move to the bed?" Renji asked as he watched the play of emotions on his lover's face. "I don't think this couch can take us both." He chuckled.

Ichigo threw his head back and moaned, his hands gripping Renji's hair tighter. He huffed and gasped before finding his voice again and speaking. "I don't... I don't care..." He sighed breathlessly. "A-Anywhere is fine... just don't stop—_ohh_!"

Ichigo's speech once again broke off into a moan as Renji licked his member again without warning. He tugged mercilessly on the silky red hair thread between his fingers and thrust up, only to be forced own by Renji's strong hands.

"Damn it... Renji..."

Ichigo opened his clenched eyes and slowly looked down at Renji. The shinigami licked up and down his cock again and again, occasionally sucking on the head but never going any deeper. Ichigo groaned and whimpered but Renji never took him in completely.

"Renji..." Ichigo sighed. Renji's eyes opened and he looked up, red meeting chocolate brown. Ichigo breathed hard for a few moments as Renji continued to lick and suck before speaking again, his voice strained. "Stop... for a second..."

Renji looked up at him questionably but did as he was told, his lips only inches from Ichigo's member in case told to continue once again.

Ichigo sat up on his elbows then sat up completely and took Renji's face in his hands. He leaned down and pulled Renji to him, kissing his lips lightly once, twice, before latching on and wrapping his arms tightly around his lover. Renji was puzzled but kissed his strawberry regardless and reached up with one hand to cup the boy's cheek as he balanced himself with the other.

"Please..." Ichigo breathed against reddened lips when he pulled away. "Let me suck your cock... I wanna make you feel good..."

Renji swallowed hard and blushed wildly. For some reason, it was odd but arousing to hear Ichigo request such a thing just like that. He looked into Ichigo's face, the boy's eyes lidded as his mouth parted slightly and practically screamed sexy. Renji nodded but said nothing and lay down onto his back where he eagerly awaited Ichigo.

Ichigo let his eyes wander over Renji for several moments, taking in the sight of his lover. His eyes locked with Renji's and traveled down over the the toned sexy chest, following the dark tattooed zig zag lines and resting between the slightly parted legs where Renji's arousal throbbed painfully. He licked his lips and sinked down slowly, pumping Renji slowly with one hand as he licked the head, the salty sensation attacking his taste buds.

Renji moaned and gripped Ichigo's hair just as Ichigo had to him but didn't tug harshly. He moaned as Ichigo licked up and down his shaft, his free hand coming up to squeeze Renji's balls. Renji gasped and moaned and Ichigo continued to lick and nibble.

"Renji..." Ichigo breathed in between licks. "You're so big... it's been so long I've nearly forgotten..."

Renji chuckled and arched his back a little, running his fingers all through Ichigo's scalp. "What are you... talking about, Idiot? It's only been about -_nngh_- a week... and this is only -_Ahh_- the third time we've done it..."

"I guess you're right..." Ichigo chuckled lightly and continued to lick before a light suck to the head made Renji moan loudly and thrust his hips into Ichigo's mouth. Ichigo choked for a moment but sucked hard, earning another loud moan.

Renji felt himself coming undone as Ichigo swallowed him whole and began bobbing his head. It was a slow torturous movement but felt incredibly wonderful at the same time. He moaned his lover's name and spread his legs as far as the couch would allow. He huffed and moaned, thrashing his head back and forth on th arm rest where his head lay when an idea came to mind. "Ichigo, turn around..." He ordered as he tugged Ichigo's hair a bit.

Ichigo lifted his head reluctantly and looked up at Renji, a slight scowl on his face. "What?"

"Turn around..." Renji said again. "I wanna suck yours too..."

Ichigo smirked and began to swing his body around over Renji's, positioning himself once again between his legs. "Wow Renji, never knew you were into th—_aah_!"

Without warning, Renji took Ichigo into his mouth, waisting no time. He began bobbing his head almost immediately, Ichigo not far behind starting on Renji once again.

They moaned simultaneously, whimpering around each other's cocks and sucking harder and harder, moving faster and faster. Renji could feel he was so close and knew Ichigo was at his peek too. He was right.

With a cry, Ichigo came, spilling his seed into Renji's mouth before having the presence of mind to bring Renji to his release too. Renji moaned and Ichigo's now soften dick fell out of his mouth as his strawberry swallowed his seed and helped him to ride out his orgasm.

After several moments of heavy breathing, Ichigo flipped himself back around and rest his head on Renji's chest, listening to the calming breathing of his partner.

Renji wrapped his arms lightly around Ichigo and sighed, nuzzling the bright orange hair beneath his chin and kissing the boy's forehead softly. "Wanna go again?"

"Nah." Ichigo sighed. "Tired now... besides, I think we should listen to my dad. We've only done it twice but maybe we should use protection and stuff, ya know?"

"Wah? Why the hell should we? It ain't like I can impregnate ya!"

Ichigo blushed and punched Renji's chest lightly. "I know that dumb ass! I'm just sayin' is all!"

Renji snickered and ruffled the boy's hair unpleasantly. "Okay then. We'll go out and get some condoms for poor lil Ichigo." Renji mocked.

"Shut it or no sex for a week!"

"Pft... I've had worse..."

"Then try a month!"

Renji paled instantaneously much to Ichigo's amusement. Ichigo laughed and Renji punched him, saying it wasn't funny and to NEVER joke about something like that again. Ichigo calmed after a few moments but continued to giggle as he sat up. Renji sat up next to him and Ichigo leaned into his shoulder, Renji wrapping an arm around his lanky figure.

They sighed together as if on some unspoken cue and Ichigo closed his eyes. It was nice. Being able to just sit and relax against Renji after so many things had transpired... It was very nice...

"Oi, Renji?"

"Hm?"

Ichigo opened his eyes and looked up at the shinigami, their eyes locking. Renji smiled asked again. "What is it, Ichigo?"

Ichigo smiled too and sighed. "Oh, never mind."

"'never mind'?" Renji parroted. "Whatda ya mean 'never mind'? Ya can't just look up at me all cutsie like that and not bother to say nothin'!"

Renji continued on but Ichigo had long sense closed his eyes again and blocked him out. It wasn't long before he fell into a light nap as Renji babbled on, still held tightly against his lover's shoulder.

-/-/-/-

"Oi, Renji! I'm goin' out for a bit!"

Renji peeked his head into the living room from the kitchen where he was currently munching on some left over rice. He swallowed what little food was left in his mouth quickly before calling out. "Where are you goin' all of a sudden! We still have awhile until your dad gets back, he said he'd be late tonight."

"I know." Ichigo smiled. "I just thought it'd be nice to get out of the house. Yuzu and Karin are at their friend's house for the night so I thought I'd drop them off a few things."

Ichigo smiled and waved and was heading out the door when Renji grabbed his shoulder, halting him.

"Wait a second. Are you sure that's a good idea? Maybe I should come with you?"

Ichigo looked up at Renji. The redhead's eyes gazed intensely down at him, eyebrows furrowed. Ichigo sighed. "Don't worry, Renji. I'll just be gone for a little while. No need to worry so much."

"But what if yer jumped or mugged?" Renji protested. "Or if those people from school see you out and come after you? Or if when--"

"Renji!" Ichigo sighed. "I'm not five years old. I can take care of myself you know. After all, I'm Kurosaki Ichigo! I can kick anyone's ass, remember?"

"Yeah, but--"

"Renji! I'll be fine!" Ichigo put a hand on his shoulder. "Trust me on this, okay? I'll be fine."

Renji stared at Ichigo a moment longer, now a slight pout on his lips. "Are you sure?"

"Positive." Ichigo nodded. "I'll be back soon."

Renji sighed, his shoulders relaxing. "Okay." He said, letting go of Ichigo. "If you get your ass kicked though, don't come crying to me!"

Ichigo chuckled a little and kissed Renji lightly. "I'll keep that in mind." He was out the door before he could let Renji get another word in.

-/-/-/-

Ichigo shivered a little and crossed his arms. He wished he would have taken the time to grab his jacket before leaving but if he'd stayed any longer, Renji might have wanted to go with him.

It wasn't as if he'd lied when he'd told Renji he was going out for his sisters. He _had_ stopped by and given them their things, he was now just making another stop before heading home. It was on the way anyway.

Ichigo took out his cell phone and flipped through his contacts until he settled on a highlighted name. Chad had certainly helped him out with this before and he had considered calling him earlier. It wasn't too late, although the sun had long sense gone down. He knew ether him or Uryū would he if he needed it...

Ichigo sighed and closed his phone. _No, this is something I have to do myself._ He thought. _It wouldn't be good if I caught and they were with me anyway._

Ichigo rounded a corner and took a deep breath as he walked to the gate of his school.

-/-/-/-

"Stupid damn strawberry running out before I could get him..." Renji grumbled to himself. "I would have gone with him if he'd just waited! Impatient little..."

Renji stirred the rice on the stove aggressively as he grumbled to himself. He did trust Ichigo to go out on his own but that didn't stop him from worrying. The way things were going with that syco Orihime, anything could spring on them at any moment. Renji was starting to feel like a noble samurai protecting his feudal lord from Ninja assassination attempts. Although he was pretty sure samurai were never sexualy active with their lords. And if they were, it wasn't two men...

_Not that that matters of course._ Renji sighed. _Doesn't matter if it's a girl or guy or whatever._ _'Slong as you love em..._

Renji thought back to the past few months and everything that had happened. First he was rather confused about everything. He was almost certain he could never feel anything more then loathing for the boy. Then it developed into friendly rivalry, a mutual desire to protect their friends, and now something beyond that. Renji smiled thinking about how dumb he had been. Always stammering like an idiot, blushing, stealing glances...

Then Ichigo had said it and Renji had been a idiot. Such an Idiot... Renji frowned at the memory. _It ain't ever gonna be like that again._ Renji promised himself. _I don't think I could ever forgive myself for hurting Ichigo like that. But that was then and this is now._

It was no use dwelling in the past so Renji pushed the memory aside and replaced it with something pleasant. Like when he had told Ichigo he loved him. That was something to remember... it had to have been one of the single happiest moments in Renji's life. He felt all the warmth and clichés, the head pounding, heart wrenching high of love.

Just like a bad romance novel.

"That's what it is; A bad Romance novel." Renji grinned. "But still, if we play our cards right, it might have a not-so-bad ending." Renji felt his heart do a little flop. "Yeah... might not be so bad..."

He looked back at the food and continued preparing it. The Rice was finished so he took it off the stove and put it on the back burner. It was just in time too; The door bell rang.

"Could he back already...?"

It rang again and Renji snapped out of whatever train of thought he was in to go to the door. "Coming!"

He put down the dish rag before bounding out of the kitchen. "You're back soon, Ichigo. I thought you'd be out a little longer." Renji babbled as he unlatched the locks with a click. "The rice is done but the fish still needs..."

He fell silent as he opened the door and his eyes fell upon green. Renji felt anger best him as those cold eyes looked up at him. "You--!"

-/-/-/-

Sneaking into the school wasn't as hard as Ichigo thought it would be. Climbing over the fence wasn't challenging compared to having to fight huge monsters everyday. Finding an open window wasn't hard ether. There were so many windows in the school, he didn't expect all of them to be locked and it wasn't a private school so there was no alarm.

"Damn it." Ichigo grumbled as he climbed through the third story window. "Did they have to make these things so small?"

He tumbled into the dark classroom and looked around for a moment before going to the door. He poked his head out into he hallway and looked at the room number. Yep, it was his. "Now to find where they hid them..."

The way Ichigo saw it, Orihime and the rest of them were bound to have more footage (or whatever else they could find) against him. There was always the possibility they took it home with them but then again, there were some things they had used that was school equipment. If he could just find a tape or _something_...

After a few minutes of rummaging around in the closet, he didn't find anything. He sighed and looked behind the teacher's desk, in it, around it, but there was nothing. He looked in the cabinets but it was all school related material; Beakers and the like.

"They probably have it stored somewhere else... like the janitor's closet or--"

"Ichigo..."

Ichigo jumped almost sky high at the call of his name. He was certain he was alone but somehow, this other person had slipped in without him knowing. "Who is it?" He asked harshly as he turned around. Ichigo's chocolate brown eyes rest on the intruder and instantly widened.

"What...?!"

-/-/-/-

To say Renji was surprised would be an understatement. He didn't expect this. How could he? He never imagined she'd pop up on the door step like this, and even so, what could she possibly want?

"What the hell are you doing here?" Renji growled, his grip on the door tightening, ready to slam it. "Ichigo isn't here and even if he was, I wouldn't let you see him."

"I's not Kurosaki I wish to speak with." She said cooly.

"Then what the hell _do_ you want? If it's to apologize, you know it's too damn--!"

"That's not it ether."

"Then what is it?!"

Orihime blinked up at him with those big green eyes and for a moment looked like the innocent friend they once knew. She momentarily looked past him, smelling the waves of freshly cooked food and she smiled. "You were cooking?"

"Don't try and change the subject." Renji growled. "Answer my question."

Orihime frowned and looked around slowly momentarily. "Maybe we should talk inside." She said as her eyes went back to Renji. "It would be uncomfortable standing out here. For me and you."

Renji, as much as he hated it, agreed with her. He released his hold on the door and stepped back a few steps, his eyes never leaving the girl in front of him. Orihime stepped in and took off her shoes as if she was simply visiting her friend. It pissed Renji off. "Alright, ya got in now answer my question – why are you here!?"

Orihime looked around the house a moment before her eyes settled on Renji. "I told you I'm here to talk."

"And I told you Ichigo isn't here!" He snapped.

"If you remember, Renji-kun, I told you he's not who I wish to speak with." She smiled a little. "It's you I'd like to talk to."

Renji calmed himself if only by a little bit. He couldn't stand this girl being here after everything she'd put Ichigo through. "So what, you wanna talk to me? If yer gonna try and tell me to stay away from Ichigo you can forget it! For someone so into a guy, you sure do--"

"That's not what I wish to say."

Renji looked at Orihime's calm attitude and was beginning to lose his patience. "Then fuckin' say it already. I know you love Ichigo and all but--"

"It's not Kurosaki... that I am in love with..."

That stopped Renji. He looked at her with widening eyes of confusion. "Don't love him? Then what the fuck--"

"I thought it would be obvious by now." Orihime said, closing the distance between them.

"I love _you_, Renji."

-/-/-/-

**A/N:** I'M SOOOO SORRY!!

I know this is SO EXTREAMLY LATE but I'm going through a lot of shit right now both physically and emotionaly. I hope to be able to finish this soon! Isn't Orihime such a hoe?

Toodles!


	17. The ending to a bad romance novel PART 2

**Title: **Unrequited Love

**Author:** Tara Kitaide

**genre:** romance/angst/humor

**Pairing:** Ichigo/Renji

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be so cool to own bleach? Unfortunately, I don't. If I did, there'd be hot yaoi smut every chapter.

**Warning: **Yaoi, language, fantasy violence

**Rating: **M for yaoi scenes

-/-/-/-

Ichigo looked at his former friend with nothing but loathing. He was sure, so sure, Rukia had been on his side from the beginning. After all the things he'd told her, the way he'd let her comfort him, he couldn't believe what malicious intent she could have had.

Somewhere in the back of Ichigo's mind, he registered Rukia's worried look but it didn't last long. Soon he was yelling. "What the hell do you want? How the hell'd you get in? Where you following me?!"

Rukia said nothing but lowered her head with a sad look on her face. Ichigo furrowed his eyebrows, irritated at the lack of response. "Answer me, damn it!"

Rukia looked back up at him and for a moment, Ichigo couldn't possibly be mad. There was a fear in Rukia's eyes that Ichigo had never seen before. Not when she was about to die saving his family, or when Renji and Byakuya came to take her to Soul Society, or when she was about to die. No, this was an unrivaled fear in his friends eyes that he'd never seen and he couldn't think of why.

"Ichigo..." Rukia spoke so softly it was almost a whisper. "I need you to know the rest of... what I had said..."

Ichigo's scowl came back. "Why should I believe what you say? For all I know, you could be lying..." he growled. "...again."

"Then listen to the rest of it! It's on the tape I swear! Just please listen, Ichigo." Tears were swelling in the shinigami's eyes, something Ichigo had never seen before. "I can't stand it... having you hate me... having... Renji hate me..."

"How do I know it isn't just more lies? You and Chizuru--"

"IT'S NOT A LIE!"

"THEN PROVE IT!"

There was now anger amidst Rukia's sorrow and fear. She stopped to him, knocking over several chairs and pushing desks noisily out of the way. Ichigo prepared to be hit or ever get into a fight but the girl just pushed past him and furiously reached into the closet, rummaging for only a minute before producing a video tape.

"Here!" She shoved it at Ichigo, glaring intently at him. "Put it in the VCR and watch it."

Ichigo glared at her a moment before taking the tape with a snap of his wrist, practically ripping it out of Rukia's hand. He forcefully shoved it into the television, turning on the black box and flipping it to the proper channel before pressing the play button.

"_Ichigo has gotten weaker."_ The television repeated as Ichigo cringed. _"I mean, he use to be all independent and didn't rely on anyone but now he can't even wipe his nose unless Renji's there with him! He's gotten so pathetic now. When Renji left he went completely emo on us! I don't know what happened between them before then but he just shriveled up and died. Now he depends on Renji for everything. It's ridiculous."_

Ichigo growled at the image of Rukia on the television. "This isn't helping you in the least bit, ya know."

Rukia shushed him at stared intently at the television from behind him.

"_It sounds like you hate Ichigo, Rukia!"_ It way now Chizuru again. _"Say, didn't you like Renji yourself?"_

"_That's none of your business! And as for Ichigo... I guess... I do."_

This was now where the tape left off last time. Ichigo's ears perked as he listened closely.

"_But..."_ Rukia continued. _"Just because I'm... jealous doesn't change the fact Ichigo is my friend. I may feel envy towards him now but it's nothing compared to the gratitude I owe him. He makes Renji happy... that's something I couldn't do. Not the way he does. I may be jealous but he's still my friend... and one of the most important people to Renji. Ichigo is my friend and I would never abandon him!"_

That was where the tape cut off into a loud white noise. Ichigo stared at the static, dumbfound by his friend's declaration. It was all starting to fall into place now. Rukia hadn't tricked him. Rukia didn't hate him. She was still his friend. She was still...

"Do you see now?" Rukia asked, her voice low and cracked. "Not once... not once did I doubt or hate you Ichigo... If anything... I'm thankful..." Her voice trailed off as she felt a sob come up and tears spilled over.

Ichigo looked back at her, still in mild shock. It took him a moment but he eventually registered the tears streaking down Rukia's face and reached out to her. She let herself be gathered up into his arms as he comforted her, like she had done for him.

"I'm sorry Rukia." Ichigo said slowly. He thought for a moment before asking. "So you really love Renji then?"

She nodded and continued to cry but not as hard as she was before. "Yes. But that doesn't change anything."

Sighing, Ichigo smiled and looked down at her. "I think it does. You really should tell him yourself. He'd understand."

Rukia looked up at him and swiped at some of her tears. "You think so?" Ichigo nodded. "Alright then. I don't have to tell him now do I?"

"No," Ichigo shook his head. "Do it when you're ready. But for now, I think he'd be glad to know you had nothing to do with any of this. We'll go tell him now."

"Now?" Rukia's face scrunched in confusion. "Isn't he in soul society."

Now Ichigo's face was confused. "What? No, he's been with me this whole time. He's at the house now."

Ichigo watched in confusion as Rukia's eyes widened. For a moment, it looked as if his friend had forgotten how to breath. She stood, absolutely still as realization dawned on her face. Ichigo began to feel worried. What could possibly have his friend so worked up?

"Rukia? What's with that face? You okay?"

Rukia looked at him and put her hands on his shoulders urgently. "Ichigo! We have to get back to Renji!"

Now Ichigo was sure something was wrong. "What? Why? Is something wrong with him?"

"I think..." Rukia paused. "I think Orihime might have gotten to him." 

-/-/-/-

Renji stared at Orihime, a dumbfound expression on his face. "You... what?"

Orihime sighed. "I love you." She repeated.

Renji stared at her a moment more, scanning the girls face for any sign. Anything that would tell him this is some sort of trick. On the off chance she was telling the truth, it would make sense. Hurting Ichigo, threatening him, trying to separate them. It would all work in her favor.

In his calculating state of mind, Renji didn't notice her get closer or the fact she'd leaned in. It was only when a pair of lips were on his, a pair other than Ichigo's, that he realized she was kissing him. Quickly he moved to get away but she beat him to it, pulling back for a moment as her hands held his face.

"I'm not lying." She whispered softly. "I'm not trying to trick you. It's true."

Renji stared at her, a small trickle of sympathy working through his heart. "Then why'd you do all that to Ichigo?"

Orihime winced at the harshness in his voice and averted her eyes from his. "I don't really know... I just hopped... you'd get sick of him or he'd get sick of it and you'd drift apart or something..."

Renji sighed. Orihime's voice was beginning to crack as tears filled her eyes. "You should know me better then that." He whispered. "You know me nor Ichigo would just give up like that. We're too stuborn."

The young girl looked back to his eyes. "Can you blame me for trying?"

Renji couldn't think of an answer to give. Would he really do that to someone just to get to Ichigo? He asked himself over and over but each time the answer was no. But in a situation like that, being faced with the heart break and rejection, he might have done exactly the same thing. Love made people do crazy things all the time.

He was going to give his answer when he realized he was being kissed again. He sighed to himself and put his hands on Orihime's shoulders. He was going to push her away when the door practically burst open and two rather flushed, panting people came in.

Orihime quickly separated from Renji to whirl her head around and see who it was. Renji looked up and almost smiled.

Lo and Behold, Ichigo and Rukia were there, staring wide eyed at the two. Quickly, without hesitation, Rukia marched over to Orihime, anger written across her face.

"Damn you!" She barked loudly, grabbing Orihime by the shirt and dragging her away from Renji. Orihime watched frightened as Rukia drew her hand back to slap her. The younger of the two flinched, closing her eyes tightly. Rukia went in to slap her when her hand was caught. She whirled her head around to find Renji had grasped it, halting her attack. "What the hell, Renji?" She growled.

"Don't be so hasty, Rukia." He gave her a small smile and she seemed to understand.

With a grumble, Rukia let Orihime go and turned her back, crossing her arms. Ichigo shut the door and made his way to Renji, touching his arm lightly in confusion. "Renji...?"

Renji turned to him and gave him that same small smile. He gave Ichigo a quick hug and kissed his cheek before looking to all of them and taking a deep breath. "I think we all need to talk."

-/-/-/-

Rukia wasn't one to fidget. She was always calm, even under pressure. She didn't want people to know if she was worried or nervous because it would ultimately effect the people around her negatively as well. So when Ichigo looked over and caught her bouncing her leg, he could only think it was not out of nervousness but fear. He figured she must have that same gut feeling as him, the feel like something earth shattering was to be said.

"Here." Renji came back from the kitchen and handed them each a cup of tea. Ichigo and Rukia took theres but Orihime refused hers and it was set on the coffee table. The redhead sat down on the couch, next to Orihime and across from Ichigo, and looked at each of them. "Before anyone starts talking, I don't want any fighting. I don't care what's said, if a punch is thrown, I will stop it. No mater what."

They each nodded in turn. When Renji was satisfied, he took a deep breath. "A lot of things have happened in the past month as we know. The problem is, everyone's completely mixed about what's what. A lot of backs have been stabbed, people framed... Kinda hard to tell who your friends are now and days, isn't it?" Renji looked at Rukia as he said this.

Rukia met his eyes momentarily before looking away with a grimace. Renji looked at Ichigo and spoke again. "So, who wants to go first?"

It was silent for a moment. The tension was so thick in the air, you could cut it with a knife (as they say). The all waited for someone to volunteer, no one was willing to speak up first. Renji's eyes went from each person until Orihime sighed and looked at her hands.

"I guess I'll go." She said quietly like she would when she wasn't so malicious.

Ichigo and Rukia's hateful eyes fixed on the muttering girl in a menacing glare. Orihime cringed a little but shook it off.

"I know sorry wouldn't cover it so I wont say that." She started. "I'm not sure what to say other then this; I was jealous and it wasn't over you, Kurosaki-kun."

Ichigo blinked, a dumbfound look on his face. "Not over me? You mean you weren't after _me _in this whole mess?"

Orihime shook her head. "I did love you but that was a long time ago. I just... wanted to split you and Ren- Abarai-kun up and then..."

"What? Then what? Did you think Renji would go running to you if I ditched him?!"

"Ichigo, calm yourself."

"How can you sit there and tell me to be calm after all she's done, Renji?!" Ichigo pointed at Orihime while his eyes fixed on his boyfriend's. "How can you just sit there like nothings happened?! Or have you forgotten this?" He pulled back his sleeve to reveal the fresh scar across his wrist. Orihime gasped as Rukia averted her eyes.

Renji reached out and touched the scar lightly. "I haven't forgotten, Ichigo." He said calmly, quietly. "Just please, calm down."

Ichigo looked in his eyes for a long moment before huffing and slumping back down in his seat. He crossed his arms like a child and pouted.

"Thank you." Renji almost smiled before turning to Orihime. "You can continue now."

Orihime's tear filled eyes locked onto his. She sniffed a little and clasped her hands hard in her lap. "Abarai-kun, I-"

"Don't get me wrong, Inoue-san. I'm not doing this because I forgive you."

The young girl gulped and swallowed back her tears. Quickly she looked down at her lap and bit her lip. "It was because I... I guess I was so tired of always... losing."

Ichigo bit back a comment he desperately wanted to make but he knew it would make him fly off the handle. _"'lose'? Was this just a fucking game to you?"_

"I don't know what drove me to do it but... Kuchiki-san is innocent. I never wanted to drag her into this but it turned out that way."

Rukia snorted, not buying it. It was planned and executed by both her and Chizuru. How could she expect her to believe that? "I told you, Renji. At least I tried to tell you." Rukia said to her friend. "I wouldn't do anything to hurt ether of you. Ever. That's what _real _friends do." She glared momentarily at Orihime.

Renji went over everything he remembered from that video and asked the question that had been nagging at the back of his mind sense he saw it. "Rukia," He crossed his arms and closed his eyes to take a breather. "Rukia, do you... love me like she said?"

Rukia's face paled and she gripped her dress. "No."

"Are you lying?"

She looked down for a moment before closing her eyes. "Yes..."

Renji sighed and stared hard at his childhood friend. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"

All Rukia could manage was to shake her head. She didn't want to think about this right now, none the less talk about it. Especially not with Ichigo so close. This was suppose to be about Orihime, damn it!

"Rukia?" Renji called, now concerned.

"Um..." She tried to muster up an answer. "You... you had Ichigo." She said, fighting back tears. "And I saw how much he needed you and... I just couldn't take that away from him..." She felt her body shake and fought against it. "Even if it meant..."

Ichigo leaned over and put a hand on Rukia's shoulder. "It's okay, Rukia. You don't have to say anymore."

The shinigami girl nodded and leaned into Ichigo who gave her a hug.

Renji closed his eyes and breathed in deep. "Is that all?"

Orihime nodded to no one. "Please don't be mad at Chizuru-chan. She was just doing this because I asked her to. It's really not her fault. I'll... talk to her about everything later."

"Okay." Renji nodded. Rukia was breaking into sobs now. Ichigo gave him a pleading look. Renji sighed and turned to Orihime. "I think you should go, Inoue-san."

Orihime nodded and got up. "Thank you for listening." She said brokenly. She bowed to Ichigo and Rukia before exiting quickly. When the door slammed behind her, Renji got up from his spot and went to sit next to Rukia.

Ichigo let the shinigami girl out of his arms carefully into Renji's. The redhead held his childhood friend in his lap and stroked her hair softly, whispering to her soothingly.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry, R-Renji." She sobbed.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Rukia. If anyone should be sorry, it's me." He kissed the top of her head. "Hey, Rukia. Do you remember when we were kids and you'd get scared during a thunder storm?"

Rukia nodded, unable to vocally produce an answer.

"You were always bigger then me but I found a way some how. The guys thought it was the funniest thing. They always made fun of me for my height. I'm bigger then you now though. Bet they'd never believe it." Renji laughed a little sadly.

Ichigo watched silently was sympathetic eyes. It was odd hearing Renji, his lover, talk about things he'd never known himself. It made him realize what a deep bond Renji and Rukia shared. They had been together sense children while Ichigo had only known Renji for a short time. He began to feel bad for taking Renji so selfishly.

"I'm sorry." Rukia sobbed again.

"Please, don't be. I love you, Rukia but not the same way. You're like a sister to me. I could never hate you... I'm so sorry for not believing in you, Rukia. I'm really sorry."

Rukia continued to cry for a while as Renji comforted her and Ichigo watched. It wasn't long before the poor girl fell asleep in Renji's arms, her eyes and cheeks red.

"Will she be okay now?" Ichigo asked, touching Renji's shoulder.

"I don't know. Unrequited love is a heavy burden." Renji sighed and squeezed Rukia lightly. "Are _you _okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He sighed. "Sorry for flying off the handle."

"It's okay."

Ichigo leaned his head against Renji's shoulder and breathed deeply. Renji used a hand to stroke Ichigo's hair and kissed his head. He knew in the morning it wouldn't be as easy as it was now. Rukia wouldn't feel like being as opening; she might even try to deny the whole thing happened or act like it's no big deal...

"I had a thought today." Renji said.

Normally Ichigo would have come up with a smart comeback to this like "That's a first" or something along those lines, but right now wasn't the time for something like that. He would make fun of him latter.

"What about?"

Renji sighed. "This whole... situation, this whole _thing_... It's like a really bad romance novel."

Ichigo scoffed. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Those things never really have great endings though."

"Yeah, well..." Renji looked down at Rukia in his arms. "I hope this ending doesn't turn out so bad."

Ichigo kissed Renji's cheek and smiled. "It'll be fine Renji. For all of us."

Renji smiled at him too and kissed his lips.

"Yeah... as long as I have you."

**A/N: **Almost a year! It's been almost a year sense I updated! I'm so so so so sorry!

Btw: I don't really hate Orihime. Heh. I started writing this when I was like "omg I hate her she must DIE!!" but now I understand her and actually kindda relate to her.

It's RUKIA I'm really starting to have a problem with...

One more chapter!

Thanks for sticking with me through it all!


End file.
